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Depressed after rocky breakup

Community Member
Sup, Im a 16 year old boy in high school and I'm going through my first breakup, it started with the relationship becoming rocky with her not wanting to go out and do things, in the 4 months we were together we only really met up 3 times on a date which really got on my nerves, so therefor in my mind I figured id spend as much time as i can with her at school.. It didn't turn out well, I was looking forward to a date with her for weeks and she felt I was too suffocating and that her feelings had changed and felt that I was clingy and obsessive so she canceled the date 3 hours before, I was shattered, she then said she would decide over the weekend if she wanted to be together, I had heard enough and broke up that night, I then started texting her again and I asked her the question if she wanted to get back together weeks later, she said yes, then told me she loved me that night and the next day promptly dumped me and said "oh I meant as a friend", I feel so shattered, all my friends argued against me getting back with her, I didn't listen, now to deal with the teasing, I feel so depressed and defeated.
4 Replies 4

Community Member

The old saying goes "theres plenty more fish in the sea" mate.

Let her go bud, she won't even be a blip on the radar in the future.

Valued Contributor
Valued Contributor

Hi AlreadyNobody,

Someone once told me that you’ll never be enough for the wrong person, and I think it also works in reverse, that you’ll never be “too much” for the right person. I think that you may have fallen into the trap that a lot of people do in dating, which is wanting that connection badly enough and all the trappings of a relationship rather than seeing the person for what they actually were. I don’t think it’s “clingy” or “obsessive” to want to go on a date with a person more than 3 times in 4 months, most people wouldn’t. But instead of being upfront with you, she decided to twist it around and make you feel that you were somehow crazy for feeling this. That doesn’t bode well for a relationship with a person, denying and minimizing your perfectly reasonable feelings. Not only that, but to then say she loves you and to later deny/cheapen it by saying “oh I meant as a friend”, I don’t know about you but I rarely have such declarations for my friends. This period will suck, it always does, but mend your fences with your friends, it will get easier with time.

Thank you for the awesome response!, there was alot of red flags that I had ignored and I was put through alot of stress and anxiety by that one person, for an example, one night she will text me telling me she's gonna kill herself, I had a panic attack and I didn't know what to do and cried all night, the next day I confront her to talk about it, she shrugged it off and said it was nothing and refused to get help but continued her behavior like that. I need to focus on my friends and those who care for me, my mind is a bit clearer and your awesome response opened my view, she isn't really a person that I want to affiliate myself with and I'm not surprised she has moved on in 2 weeks.

Community Member

i haven’t really talked about this to many people but last year in october i dated a boy for like a week and ever since we have been still talking good and meeting up with each other a lot and he started to hit me and make up so many jokes and everytime i go to hit him not in a bad way he would get angry. no matter what i do he doesn’t care. it’s a toxic as relationship but whenever i’m not talking to him or we have had a fight i start to shut down and get depressed and want to give up. i can’t do it and then he would come back to me and i was the happiest but everytime he would leave i hated it. recently he got into a relationship and he doesn’t want anything to do with me. at school we would just walk past each other like strangers and sometimes yell at each other, i miss him so much and i know i need to let go but it’s literally so hard. he’s got me so attached. also when he wants something he always gets it no matter what, he hates it when he doesn’t get his own way all the time. he’s a user. he’s used me so many times and i kept going back to him. i’ve lost so many friends because of him