Crushes

[Janey_beyond]

I notice when I ‘like’ someone I get quite obsessive about them and was wondering if there are people who feel the same way? I know it’s likely due to abandonment issues and insecurities, but the rumination sometimes feel out of control. I get super excited thinking about this person and what life we would have together but extremely insecure if I got rejected. I know in reality, these ‘relationships’ could never work, but I’ve had crushes where I’ve seen them with other people and wanted to become that person so bad. I develop these feelings extremely quickly, turning into this fantasy where I am constantly thinking about them. Does anyone relate or have any advice?

[white knight]

Hi, welcome,

Such a unique topic, thankyou

Well I was the same and I now suspect that it is fairly common. I dont know the core of the reason however, anxiety might contribute but its more of an obsession not unlike times I've had with model planes or vintage cars... I simply dont sleep the night before picking it up.

It could also be due to sexual urges but I think more accurately its a puppy love thing that some have and others dont. You say you know you wont end up with these people, I'm wondering that if you did, it likely wont last long after the obsession wears off. Obsessions dont include the negatives and the negatives arent displayed like habits, faults etc. Many things can annoy people when you begin a relationships like habits- gambling hard earned money away, bathroom hygiene, desire for things incompatible eg travel, socialising...

With this obsessional reactions I'd suggest, as hard as it might be, to date for a longer time frame than common, add a few months just to make sure you're not making a decision in haste.

Enjoy your day

TonyWK