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coping with a break up and cut off

Community Member

Where to start....

I've been in an on again off again relationship with a girl for the last year and a half. We have broken up gotten back together three times over that period. She suffers from severe anxiety that has been the cause of the break ups as she felt trapped or worried something would go wrong. A few months would go by and we would reconcile and get back together.

Each time i would take her back without hesitation as i really do love her, we get along so well, and so do our children. She is everything i want in a partner. Funny, intelligent, caring and a great mother who has the same values as me regarding bringing up children. The anxiety thing doesn't worry me at all. If fact i want to be someone can help her get through the bad days and support her however I can.

The last time we were together is was just amazing. We were, so i thought, so in love with each other. She told me she was completely in love with me and we would without a doubt be together forever. We were planning to move in together and had even discussed having more kids. Then it all fell apart. She broke up with me again saying that I didn't trust her and that the thought of me made her fearful of having a future together and that it wouldn't work.

I have already been through a marriage break up where my wife had an affair so i do maybe have some trust issues but with her i was 110% sure this girl was the one.

i stupidly thought i could stay friends with her and after her anxiety settled down we could try again. We had been talking again and getting along so well but recently she completely cut me off . Won't return my messages and blocked me on all social media.

It has completely destroyed me. I love this girl so much and i refuse to give up on us even though i'm sure it's over for good now. I try telling it's for the best as obviously it just doesn't work between us. I'm seeing a psychologist to help me with coping mechanisms and trying to lean on family for support but nothing seems to work. I'm completely heart broken. I can't think and right now nothing makes me feel any sort of happiness. even my beautiful little girl. I'd do anything to get her back even after her breaking up with me 3 times in just over a year and half. I feel like i'll never find the intense happiness and love i felt with her in anyone else and i'll end up alone forever. Obviously she doesn't love me the way i do her but i'd take her back in a heartbeat if she asked. It makes no sence

1 Reply 1

Community Champion
Community Champion


Welcome to the forum. This is a caring, friendly and supportive community.

From reading your post I can see how upset you are and confused over what has happened. the last time you were together you felt everything was going so well and you were planning for the future.

You are heartbroken and willing to do anything to get your girl back. I am glad you are seeing a psychologist to help with coping mechanisms and this takes time.

I can understand how you might feel that nothing will make you happy except being with your girlfriend again but what how do you think you will feel if you get back together again and she breaks up again.?

I know that you may feel now like you will never find the love you had with your girlfriend with anyone else and you may end up alone forever. She has been a big part of your life and so now your life feels empty.

How can you show your little girl how much she means to you, even though you are struggling.?

Thanks again for sharing your story