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HELP - What are my options - I'm at the end of my tether

Community Member

Hey all - thanks in advance, for listening!!

I have a Child Support Situation - that I am seeking advice, opinion and or direction with...

I have been an active and present father to my son who resides in another state to that which I am in. I have paid maintenance religiously and paid for items in addition that my son (over the years) has asked for. My son and I have been close but in the past say, 18months and with him coming into being the age of 17 and taking on afterschool work etc, contact via him has been limited - albeit contact when he has wanted something (which is ok). He is busy with work, girlfriends and generally - growing up - which I understand.

Issue is that, some 9 weeks ago I attended my sisters wedding in the same home town my son lives in and I caught up with my son at the wedding and before and after - herein I found out he was working full time, earning clear $1000 per week and living at his mums with his girlfriend in a adult relationship type arrangement. I KNEW NOTHING of this.. When I got back home Child support said it was up to me to provide documented evidence and lodge an application for reassessment special circumstances, which I did. I obtained confirmation from my sons employer, copies of his wage slips and confirmation from his previous school that he had left school more than a year ago. I obtained information that he had been working cash jobs etc..

I provided this to CSA and advised that I was not going to pay anymore child support until their investigation was done, as my son turns 18 in 10 weeks and I am fearful that his mother, who has been unemployed all her life - will not pay me back once it is proved she is not entitled, and given she is on centrelink payments for also, another child (not mine) she wont be made to pay me back in one lump sum etc.

This week CSA advise they are going to take $679.00 per week to cover arrears and current UNTIL they have finished their investigation and they are taking from my employer DESPITE me having provided them confirmation that he is working full time and earning a wage, well above the norm for an adult etc... I am at the point where I want to quit my job because I know they wont fight for me and get money back to me that she isnt entitled to, once their investigation is through... They are not seeing reason??

Is my partner able to talk to CSA on my behalf if I give permission as I am too close emotionally and I need to get some sense to all this?

Thanks so much

4 Replies 4

Blue Voices Member
Blue Voices Member

Hello Pinappled and welcome to Beyond Blue forums

Good to see you've made your way to the community. What a shock hey? Can't begin to imagine how you would have felt to find out the circumstances of your son after all this time.

Do you have anyone you can talk with? For example a trusted friend or close family member?

Unfortunately I have no answers for you because I'm not familiar with CSA. Though someone else on the forums may come along to give you their experience.

Not sure how long that maybe but you can keep coming back to post here to bring your query up to the top. In the meantime, you might like to pop onto others thread that maybe relevant if you have anxiety or depression to find some coping mechanisms.

Keep reaching out Pinappled, if and when you want to, you're not alone.

Kind regards


Champion Alumni
Champion Alumni

Hi Pinappled, can I welcome you to the site.

I can really understand your position here because it certainly doesn't sound to be fair on your behalf, as your ex will only pocket the money and spend it on what she wants.

The changes of her paying you back will be a real battle, the money will have gone, and I've been looking at the Australian Government and found this

'A parent can seek an internal review of certain decisions made by the
Registrar, an external review of certain other decisions made by the
Registrar and a judicial review of some decisions. A parent can also
apply to a court for orders about a range of other child support

The laws may have changed by a new government, although the quote above was dated 2 July 2018.

If you stop working are you going to be OK because claiming any payments from Centrelink won't start until about 8 weeks later, and this will also depend on how much they pay you out when quitting.

This is something you can think about and if you go **************then payment will be difficult.

Let us know what you think.


Community Member

Hey Geoff

THANKS mate for taking the time to reply (let alone read my whinge). It's just a situation that is filling me with so much anxiety and dread. I cannot understand that if they have been provided with the documented "proof" they told ME, I would have to provide - then why penalise me whilst they undertake this investigation. They say she has not informed them of any change in my sons situation - isnt this, along with what I have provided, ENOUGH to air on the side of the father in this instance and AT LEAST - allow me to halt payments until they prove (which they will), that she is not and has not (for the better part of this year) been entitled to my child support payments.

I was amazed that my son has been clearing in excess of $1100 per week - truly wages in excess of many (I would have thought) of other men out there, adult men that is!

I am just so angered by the situation as I have been told that if they determine she is in the wrong - they will take from her, $45 per fortnight to pay me back - HIDEOUS and not good enough. Now they are saying they will hold the funds in a trust account so she wont get them until the end of the investigation but I see no proof of this and I am just at the stage I dont trust them - trust them AT ALL !!

It just makes me feel so sick and I cannot settle. I do appreciate all your thoughts though and I AM OK - just so disillusioned and very, very PISSED.


Hi Pinappled, thanks for getting back.

You should try and get this letter to say monies will be put into a trust fund and you should receive notification if it's genuine, I hope for your sake you do.

I'm sorry this is happening to you, I have your back.