Dear Quirky,
I'm so sorry to hear of the situation with your partner. I know there are carer organisations in different states that provide support and resources. It may help to connect with one of those organisations. They would have awareness of the challenges of supporting someone with a neurological disorder and would have some ideas that could be supportive for you going forward.
I think the really important thing if you are in a care role is to make sure you are cared for too. Look for ways you can really take care of you and seek support whenever you feel you need it, whether that is coming here, doing some counselling, talking on a helpline or whatever feels it will be supportive.
Your partner may get more challenging with his behaviour or he may also get more docile. I think it can vary based on the condition itself and then how it affects the particular person. My dad developed a progressive neurological movement disorder (Parkinson's) and I'd say he actually became increasingly passive. One of the things about developing such a disorder is the realisation that you are losing control at some level. For a controlling person they may then try to control more, or on the other hand they may realise they have to start relinquishing control because it's happening anyway. It is sometimes in that letting go of control that it becomes a learning experience for the controlling person. That does require him to accept his diagnosis of course. Sometimes we only start to regain control after relinquishing control if that makes sense, such as giving up habitual behaviours, and he may have to change his ways of being in order to cope better with the condition.
It's hard to know how things will unfold but I think if you can just take things one day at a time it will make it easier, rather than trying to take on the big picture and the future all at once. We are always here for you Quirky.
Sending kind support,
ER
