Burnt Out Need Advice

[JustineW]

Hi All

i know I posted in 2022 on relationship advice but now it’s different issue. 
im a single mom. Daughter now 14.5.

2 1/2 months ago started awful insomnia waking with racing heart, anxiety and this lead to being exhausted now, depressed and all over the place. Put on an antidepressant and sleeping pill but still not sleeping properly. Anxiety and depression worsened. Struggling to work and function. Everyone withdrawing from me. Had hormones checked and thyroid and other bloods and all fine. I’m 45 now. Maybe it is hormones but it’s absolutely wrecking my life. I can’t find joy in anything and people are getting angry with me.

My daughter struggles with anxiety and it’s affected her schooling. She wants to move back to where we used to live 3 years ago although there’s no guarantee that will make her happier.

im so exhausted I’m at wits end. On a tight budget and can’t afford a holiday. All I can do is age care as I’ve been out of office work over ten years. I’d need to do courses but I don’t get that opportunity when I’m fulltime mum. I’ve been offered a break for a month at friends at coast which is so far from where I am. I’m North Queensland and they’re sunny coast. I’d have to pack in my job and sell up in order to take that break. I’m not happy where I live anymore because I’m just in a bad headspace. My son is at sunny coast with his partner. It’s expensive there.

My ex husband who is in another part of qld wants my daughter to come live with him and his partner. My daughter says no. I am just feeling so torn. I need a break. I don’t know how to cope or get her through high school which she’s already missed too much of. Her dad can raise her more successfully is how I’m feeling now. It would be hard parting with her and then I’d only see her some school holidays when I can afford the travel. I really don’t know if I should send her to her dad and then try sort myself out. If this whatever it is I’m dealing with continues, I’m no good to anyone. I’m scared. 

[white knight]

Hi JustineW, welcome again

I always believe that if a child doesnt want to live with the other parent dont make them move. There is a vibe they rely on and whilst she might not have issues with her dad or step mum, that vibe has to be listened to.

Some years ago here I wrote a thread on a cheap holiday. Creepy North Queensland crawlies aside it only takes $30 for a 2 man tent, then a portable propane cooker, pot, kettle, ice esky, blow up mattress. Find a free camping ground by purchasing "wikicamps" online onto your phone for $8 which shows you every free camp in Australia and the features of them eg dogs allowed, near a road, phone reception etc. Tell your daughter she can have her music on or if others nearby headphones. 
Sometimes fires allowed- marshmellows!!!

If you need to return home for a couple of days do so, then head out again.

https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/staying-well/inexpensive-recovery-idea-camping/td-p/66887/page/3

At nearly 15yo only a few short years and she will be independent. They commonly want to return to their past school, my daughter at 15 moved towns, she made new friends at her new school. I told her to get a job like at the last town where she made pizzas. She said "my new friends at school told me I'm wasting my time applying here the town is too small" I directed her to apply to the 3 takeaway places. She was offered jobs at 2 of them. She picked the best job and remained at it for 5 years while she travelled to the city to do uni. 

I hope that helps.

TonyWK