Breakup pain

[Btahana]

My ex and I split a few months ago and we just got on good terms, but everyone's left me and now my best friend is trying to get with him and all she does is post it everywhere and send me messages bullying me saying I was never good enough... was it all my fault?? I've lost everyone and now I'm on my own after everyone told me to leave him because he wasn't good for me, he used to hurt me and cheat and everything that is wrong. But as soon as I left everyone became friends with him and now I feel like giving up is the only answer... I don't understand what I did to deserve this... all I ever did was try. Feels like the end of the world when your best friend tells you to disappear because you weren't good enough for them and then proceeds to begin harassing me and making me feel like there's no point in being here anymore

[geoff]

hello Btahana, it's very sad when this happens and feel so sorry for you, however has he got some draw card that people want, and I'm not talking about looks or personality when I say this.
Your best friend has now shown her true colours and was only being a friend just to get to him, but if he has cheated on you and hurt you in other ways then he won't last long, he will only go through as many friends as possible and eventually he will come off second best and you have been badly done by.
Don't let your 'friend' hurt you anymore, block all her contact with you, and you never know that she may want to be friends again, but after this experience ignore. Geoff.

[Blue_Jane]

Hi Btahana

Looks like this is your first post with us. Welcome, we hope you find the forums supportive.

Sorry to hear about your breakup. Even though it sounds like you know he is not the person for you, it is still hard.

Your best friend is not acting like a best friend. Best to spend time with people who care about you and add value to your life, not those who take from you.

What else is going on with you? Are you working or studying? What are your interests?

Blue Jane

[Forest_Critter]

Hey Btahana,

Thanks for posting to the forums. Hope I can help you:

From what you, Geoff, and Jane have said, it's clear that both your ex-boyfriend, and bullying-'best'-friend, are not respecting you as a person, or your wishes. I advise disconnecting yourself from them, and anyone associated with them that has the same agenda to hurt your feelings, both direct or indirectly.

I understand how you may feel upset, excluded, isolated, and insulted by what these supposed-'close' people to you are doing. The most effective way I can recommend to you to help move on is disconnect. What goes around, comes around, and both your cheating ex-boyfriend and bulling-'best-friend' will live their lives as they wish, and pay the price for it. Waiting to see this happen to them, or continuing to worry about what they think of you, may only make this process enduring and painful.

It might help to reconsider the kinds of people your ex and best-friend are, and think of them in a different way. This may help you detach from them, and help cope with their efforts to bully or harass you. They appear to have different values to you, not respect you, and act immaturely and cruelly. If a couple of strangers approached you and acted in this way, you would move away from them; and rather than despise them for what they think of you, you would simply detach from them and their effect on you. This response may also apply to the social situation you are in.

I do hope they stop acting this way toward you, and that you find more people in your life to be better friends with. It will be quite a chore to move past them, but I believe you can do it. If you're worried about making new friends, I recommend focusing your attention on what you enjoy (e.g sports, games, volunteering, or even learning).

Hope I could help. Do reply back if you'd like to share and talk more about yourself.

All the best Btahana!

- FC