Find answers to some of the more frequently asked questions on the Forums.

Forums guidelines

Our guidelines keep the Forums a safe place for people to share and learn information.

BPD Breakup

Community Member

So my ubpd ex girlfriend broke up with me a couple months back. It wasnt like any normal breakup either.I

It started when i picked her up from the airport after she had her graduation from University interstate for 2 nights (unfortunately i couldnt attend, which i think was a trigger for her). I picked her up did everything right by her, opened the door for her gave her a kiss and bags in the car, i was being a right gentleman. We then went and picked up lunch and at this stage everything was perfect. Whilst she was interstate i was doing all the household chores (cooking, cleaning,washing shopping). When she got home she seen how i had hung up her work clothes on the washing line, and she went ballistic! She kicked me out the house, i left peacefully thinking she needed time to cool off. I came back a few hours later and she told me to find somewhere else to stay the night (on the eve of our 2 year anniversary). The following day i messaged her a happy anniversary message, and thats when she replied with ill give you an hour to get all your stuff out of the appartment and leave OUR car keys behind. I did everything as she asked very peacefully (even left flowers and a brand new watch), as at the time i thought she was having a tantrum.

A bit of background on the relationship. I started living with her after 6 months of dating and from there she just gained more and more control over me. After 12 months of dating we moved interstate for her career, to which i knew no one in the state and she had family which we were living in their apartment. She had me cornered, if i did something she didnt like she would threaten to kick me out and i would have to grovel back because i had no where to go. And she knew that. Another key note is she has really unstable relationships, and only has the one friend. All friendships have ended the same way as ours.

The abuse in that relationship was unbelievable, but i still miss what we had. When it was good it was amazing, when it was bad she was the devil. I have threatened, punched repeatedly and manipulated. I have once asked her after an episode about why she attacks me, she replied with "because it doesnt hurt you". After all this i still want to help her. It wasnt until i sought out a psychologist that they suggested she is bpd.

2 Replies 2

Blue Voices Member
Blue Voices Member

Welcome to forums. Unfortunately unless she sees that she needs help, and is prepared to get help. There is little you or anyone can do. She has to see it's unexceptionable to attack anyone, or be abusive. Unless a psychologist sees the behavior and commits her as an inventory pacent. There is little anyone can do. Much as you want to help her, she has to see it, or nothing happens.


Thanks for the reply, but i dont think she realises she is the problem. This string on bad relationships has been going on for a while but she continues to blame the other half in it. During our breakup she was so angry at me and painted me black, stating how i was the toxic one and listed every single bad thing i have done in the relationship ( and all were petty!). Atm i have been pointing the finger at her, but when we first broke up i spent weeks scrambling in my head of what i dont wrong and what i could have done to prevent it. I hated myself for it, but it was inevitable for this to happen, and i am glad it has happened now rather than later in life.