Big mistakes

[Brokenman]

6 years ago I was working for family business and my father passed away. I was left to run the business on my own not knowing what to do or how to run a business. In this time I turned to gaming apps to cope with everything. I  spent a lot of money on these apps without even realising the amounts I was spending. Fast forward to now I have been hit with 160k of tax bills from not knowing what to do or the implications of not being compliant. I have ATO threatening to close the business and potentially bankrupt me.

I informed my wife of this and she was supportive and wanting to help find a way to refinance our house and get the debt under control. Since then she discovered my spending on the gaming apps and has completely shut down from me and is extremely angry saying she doesn’t know if we can continue after this debt is sorted. She doesn’t want to leave me because it would ruin our 12 year old son but is so angry that she doesn’t see a future. She says she needs space. I have deleted all games and am waiting on banks answer to refinance.

I am completely broken, scared of losing everything, embarrassed that I let it get to this I feel alone with everything and could not live a life without my family. I don’t know what to do to save my family and myself

[white knight]

Hi, welcome

I ran a business before I retired. It was a company but in the early days it wasnt a company. One of the problems you face is that the debt for the gaming losses is personal which you likely realise. That equates to repaying the gaming debt with personal income that would have to come from your company or other earnings (eg if your wife works). The more personal earnings you receive as income to you from your company the more the company is taxed, plus you are taxed as an earner. I'm unsure about the ATO issue in that - is it the company that has the $160,000 tax debt or you? Either way then get some financial advice because if its the company and the company collapsed, you might not be liable for the debt personally. It gets complicated and I dont have all the answers.

Can you sell the business? If you can and you inform ATO they could put a stay on you repaying that tax debt. 

Your wife- This will go one of two ways, she'll either recover from the financial situation and you'll be under future scrutiny so trust will be forfeited or she'll decide to leave in which case the house will likely need to be sold Post that event one of you will need to pay child support of around 18% for a single person of gross income unless you have 50/50 co-custody. 

I'm a bit concerned with your avenue of gaming to "help me cope" and the lack of awareness with the amounts gambled. For these reasons I would offer your wife to attend couples counselling to plug these gaps in your thinking. I cant put it milder than that and it would display to your wife that you are more than regretful plus it could give her answers she would otherwise not consider. Addiction is a major problem so the precautions such a counsellor can offer like limited use of a computer, two signatures required for payments over a certain amount and so on.

This is a major hiccup in your life that can be fixed if your wife decides to relent but it is the type of issue that just relenting isnt enough, she needs and deserves a new structure of security to move forward.

I hope that helps and you are ok. You might well face some emotional times in this period so there is a number at the bottom of the page or ring lifeline. And please remember, everything you face is temporary, debts, the business, the ATO and so on, in the future one day it will all be in the distant past. 

repost anytime

TonyWK