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Between a Rock and a Hard place

Community Member

My partner of 13 months who I’ve lived with on/off since December broke up with me the other night after being kicked out of our house by my parents.

He has depression and a drinking problem and the last month has been very hard on us, I’ve been traveling a lot for work and while I’m away he and my parents haven’t been getting along. All of them drink, my step dad has mental health problems like my partner and my Mum is a very difficult person. It’s a tough set up - My parents are strict with the house, mum is a OTT clean freak while my partner is not. He’s very chilled but has approached our living situation as a share house set up which I’ve argued it’s not.

In the last month we’ve had two big fights. Both I’ve said things I didn’t mean, I told him to leave the house and we fought badly. We would discuss and make up, leaving me thinking we were getting closer to being better as a couple but deep down I knew we shouldn’t be living at my parents house. It wasn’t working and I could tell my partner was struggling - Bit of background, my parents never address issues they have until it reaches exploding level. I grew up with this so it wasn’t a surprise to me but they had so many issues with me and my partner but never addressed them with us, causing bigger issues.

The other night I was out and returned home to my parents passed out from drinking and my partner in a rage. Apparently they had kicked him out, telling him that no one wanted him in the house and he needed to get out. Partner was also drunk. He was so angry it scared me and now, he’s moved out and broken up with me - all in a matter of a few days.

im at a loss, I don’t know what to do. My parents are now saying he’s manipulative and a liar but I know my parents, they lie and exaggerate to make themselves look like they are the victims.

I don’t want to lose my partner, I love him and want to continue to be with him even though his mental health continues to be a struggle to deal with. That being said, I don’t want to burn bridges with my parents. I’m so heartbroken at my break up, I’m getting nothing but “woe is me, he was mean to me” from my parents and I feel trapped in the middle. My parents punish me for what he does and he punishes me for what they do.

My partner is ignoring my messages which is painful too. I’m trying not to be the crazy girlfriend and message him heaps but I’m struggling. Any advice would be much appreciated

How can I keep my relationship with my partner and my parents

3 Replies 3

Blue Voices Member
Blue Voices Member


Welcome to the forums and we are all here for you.

It is sad to see what has happened and I can relate to what has happened to you to some extent in being kicked out as well as being the meat-in-the-sandwich, with different relationships.

I would recommend contacting Relationships Australia on 1300 364 277. They have a range of services to help you, including Counselling - http://www.relationships.org.au/what-we-do/services/counselling

Also feel free to utilise the Support Line Below: 1300 22 4636 to point you in the right direction.

You sound like a very compassionate person and it is possible that some time out might help you in the short term, to focus on making sure that you are alright first and foremost - otherwise you cannot be there for anyone. I suggest checking out the PERSONAL BEST tab above and check out the recources under Supporting Others and Looking after Yourself.

I would say that your partner needs some time out after what has happened to him from everyone. So just be patient for a bit and maybe once a week leave a message to say that you want to still be there for him.

Take care.


Community Member

Hi Irene,

Thank you for words of support. I’m googling Relationships Australia right now so I can find some support.

Thank you again!

Community Member
Hello ACP. I am really sorry about your situation. It sounds incredibly tough. Please look after yourself FIRST. I know you love your partner, and your parents, but this is a toxic environment for you. You need to give yourself the space to be well as your own person - even if it means moving in with a supportive friend. Until your partner and your parents find help for themselves (e.g. with the drinking, mental health issues), you cannot and should not be part of that environment. Be supportive, but from a distance - and from a safe space. You said the drinking is extreme, that his anger scared you, that he was in a range - this is abusive behaviour. Please look after yourself first because only then you will be in a position to look after others and consider whether the relationship with your partner is worth keeping. I wish you all the best.