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Being pushed away

Miss_Empath
Community Member

Hi, I’m new to this forum so will see how this goes...

im a single Mum, have gone through a very tough and trying time for the last 5 years and have come out of my darkness and into the light about a year or so ago. But I find it very difficult to find good friends.

But almost 3 years ago I met this guy who I have had a fwb relationship with pretty much the whole time. In the last 5 months or so we have gotten very close in our friendship and have declared to each other how important we are. We share and talk about everything and enjoy bedroom fun too.

He has had a very tough time in the last 3 years and is in a relationship that he tells me he doesn’t want to be in but it’s convenient for him for the moment cos he has a roof over his head. I try not to let that in the way of our friendship because I love how it is with us, or how it was until a little over a week ago.

i can sense when someone or something isn’t quite right. I can feel their energies shift immediately. His energy shifted, I felt it, so I confronted him. He started off saying he was busy, then days later he told me he was being tested for cancer. He had cancer recently and got the all clear. I’m praying and sending all my healing and positive energies to him in the hope for good news. 🙏🏽

But, he is pushing me away 😢

he says he’s not and that he’s putting himself first, which is fantastic, but does he need to cut me off to do this?? My messages aren’t being replied to, I’m being left in the dark and I am an empath and I love and care for him so much and this is tearing me to pieces!

Why must one hurt the ones that care for them and will be there with love and support at all times, whenever they need?

4 Replies 4

geoff
Champion Alumni
Champion Alumni
hello Miss Empath, when we are depressed it's not easy to find friends, simply because we feel as though why would they want to be with me, so all our negative thoughts start to take over.
I sincerely hope that your friend doesn't have a return of his cancer and wish him the very best.
At the moment you aren't sure what type of r/ship he has with the person he is living with, he may tell you something but believe in something different, remember he's concealing the other r/ship although you know, but she may not.
If he has told her then there might be a demand and restriction by her not to contact you or doesn't want to concern you if his cancer comes back.
It's a confusing situation because there are too many variables here I'm sorry to say. Geoff.

RandR
Blue Voices Member
Blue Voices Member

Hi Miss Empath,

I'm glad to hear that you endured and came out of the darkness. Such a hard thing to do but I am glad.

I have to agree with what Geoff said above. There are so many 'variables' it becomes so hard to pin point the exact thing. When someone can be going through depression, shutting off and pushing people away can be very easy (I've done it myself) and a lot of times, we don't even realise what we are doing because our mind is so full of problems and situations.

I hope his situation improves and that you don't just get cut off but remember, he's going through a lot so do your best to stay strong for both yourself and him.

You sound extremely strong so please stay strong.

Regards,

Raman.

Thank you so much guys.

my friend came to see me on Thursday and was meant to be a quick visit but he ended up staying the night 🙂 We both thrive on each other’s company and I know that he values me a lot and vice versa.

we always talk very deep and are good at expressing what we feel and work together at remedying anything, so I was able to tell him what was bothering me and his reasons were very understandable as I do it also. It is just hard for me to personally accept it when it is someone close doing it to me because I care so much. I just need to understand that we are all so different and may work in the same ways in similar scenarios but don’t see that we do it also.

I feel a lot better in respect for him and what he has gone through and is about to do again and he’ll do whatever he needs to do for himself. It may hurt me at the time, but he’s not wanting to hurt me and it’s just his way of coping.

And I think he has cancer again 😞

thanks again 🙏🏽

Sophie_M
Moderator
Moderator
Hi everyone, this discussion is occurring simultaneously in two threads, so we're going to close this one off.  Please continue your discussion in the thread below:

I feel unheard and not understood

You can help us keep the forums organised, and help your fellow users keep up with your story, by sticking to a single thread for support.  Thank you.