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BeyondBlue Hey there - read this to see what this section is all about
  • replies: 0

Hello and welcome This is the Relationships and Family section where members can talk about what is happening in their lives and the people they live with. We know that who we live with can make a big impact on our wellbeing, both in a good way or a ... View more

Hello and welcome This is the Relationships and Family section where members can talk about what is happening in their lives and the people they live with. We know that who we live with can make a big impact on our wellbeing, both in a good way or a negative way. As always, we want to hear your story and how it impacts you and encourage everyone to support each other with kindness. There are a few things to consider when posting in this section so we can all get the most out of it: Everyone’s situation is unique. We all do our best to share what is important in our story but we can never share it all. Let’s be mindful we can’t know all of everyone’s story. Anonymous but public. These posts are available to everyone and while the moderation team will keep it anonymous, its still up for everyone to read. Have a think about what you want to share to get the best support for you. Please stay safe. This space is an amazing way to seek support from others who might understand what you are going through. We want to hear how you are going and what is happening for you. Please also consider 1800RESPECT if you don’t feel safe or 000 if you are in danger right now. You deserve to be safe. Thank you again for joining this conversation, your contributions are worthy and important to us here. Beyond Blue

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Craft Really need some advice regarding my daughter and son in-law arguing
  • replies: 2

Dont really know where to start this question...Firstly Hi my name is Craft and i have a daughter and son in-law (adults, who dont live with me) They are both mildly intellectually disabled and have been married for about 16 years. They constantly ar... View more

Dont really know where to start this question...Firstly Hi my name is Craft and i have a daughter and son in-law (adults, who dont live with me) They are both mildly intellectually disabled and have been married for about 16 years. They constantly argue over the smallest thing and then my daughter rings me and tells me of their argument and she usually blamed her husband, but after speaking with him i find it is usually her that has started the problem...Anyway i am getting very depressed wit these constant phone calls and really need advice as to what to say to them. I have tried to give advice, marriage councillor,talk to one another ,listen to your partner,have respect and consideration for each other, no one can solve this but yourselves by making changes etc etc etc. They live in their own home in a village, but there have been complaints about them arguing and have been warned if it continues they will be asked to leave....but they continue to argue. I am so worried for them but i am not getting threw how important it is to NOT argue and i just dont know what to do any more. Could anyone give me some advice as to how i can approach this problem ...please? Thank you

MissGivings Mother In Law Causing Major Anxiety Attacks
  • replies: 2

I don't even know where to start. My mother in law literally hates me. Always has. I felt it from the first minute I met her. She puts on a show, but she plays all sorts of passive aggressive games and I am not emotionally equipped to handle her. I u... View more

I don't even know where to start. My mother in law literally hates me. Always has. I felt it from the first minute I met her. She puts on a show, but she plays all sorts of passive aggressive games and I am not emotionally equipped to handle her. I used to say nothing, say nothing, say nothing, but then explode and look crazy, which is her goal. As much as she'd deny it, she's smart enough to figure it out. I have finally accepted that we cannot have a relationship, but sent her and my father in law a text, with my daughter's number as my daughter felt abandoned in favour of the the other cousins (she is the only girl and the oldest), and she was being ignored. They of course denied I had a point but then the next thing I hear my daughter telling me that her grandmother was flying her to Hamilton Island, to spend a week with my husband and his father who will be racing, no mention of me, no permission sought. I was distraught at being left out for a weeks' family holiday, however I have check the school holidays and they don't coincide so fortunately my mother in laws plan was thwarted. In the meantime however I have been sobbing, having chest pains and coping all by myself as my husband is off sailing. I have decided something. It is not my problem. I am a good and kind person, and my husband chose ME, so he can deal with his mother. She isn't my mother. They wave the inheritance thing over us, but I am determined to make enough money in my new career in Real Estate (studying at the moment) so that we don't need it. They they have nothing over us. My bitter MIL can stay bitter, and it won't affect me. I will be busy with my happen, emotionally healthy family.

Lostedforhelp Need my partner to get help.
  • replies: 6

Need help in what to do. Been with my partner for 7 years been a big roller coast ride of on off relationship not from me breaking it up, from him. But blamimg me for it all. He did seek advice from dr. But only told him a little bit and blamed me fo... View more

Need help in what to do. Been with my partner for 7 years been a big roller coast ride of on off relationship not from me breaking it up, from him. But blamimg me for it all. He did seek advice from dr. But only told him a little bit and blamed me for his depression issues. He is on depression tablets but also drinks half a cartoon of beer plus every night. Comes from a trouble up bring both parents alcoholic. I keep advising him to go talk to someone but won't. Done councilling together but all we got out of that is that the councillors took his side and im the one with the issues as he doesnt want to be the one issues. He blames me for everything and tells me that im everything he is. Eg. Selfish, abusive ect. Councillor doesnt want to work with him anymore as he is too much work. But how do i get him to get help he needs, cause i not sure where to turn. Feels like he is getting worst. Help please.

Amanda 1956 Woman trying to steal my partner
  • replies: 6

I'm very worried that a low life ex friend is making a move on my man Ringing him and spending 3hours talking on the phone(hmm wonder what about) and begging my man to dump me saying I'm a user and a bludger .How dare she question my love for my part... View more

I'm very worried that a low life ex friend is making a move on my man Ringing him and spending 3hours talking on the phone(hmm wonder what about) and begging my man to dump me saying I'm a user and a bludger .How dare she question my love for my partner Any suggestions in how to deal with this? Thanks

Sparhawk Feeling lonley and not wanted
  • replies: 3

Hi all I'm only newcomer to this site but have been deciding on whether I'm brave enough to post so here goes Recently I split up with my wife for a couple of months and we decided to give it a try again on the conditions of a few things I had to do ... View more

Hi all I'm only newcomer to this site but have been deciding on whether I'm brave enough to post so here goes Recently I split up with my wife for a couple of months and we decided to give it a try again on the conditions of a few things I had to do but in return all I have got is cold shoulders and death stares I feel so numb and depressed I'm all out of hope of ever retaining my self worth of life's enjoyments My friends and work colleagues have notice a change but I'm unable to talk to them bout anything I have seeked help but I'm having trouble .my life has more ups and down then a elevator in a two story shop I want my life back I want to be happy once more but I feel I'm going nowhere.Every time I think I'm getting better then I'm down on my own again I'm hoping by talking to people who are going thru the same or similar things I may be able to improve myself and others Thank u for ure time

potato_unicorn boyfriend pushing me away because of depression
  • replies: 2

there is this amazing guy that i met, we liked each other. he asked me out and i made him wait because i needed to clear my head as i had my problems and i wanted to be sure. throughout our time together and getting to know him, he mentioned about be... View more

there is this amazing guy that i met, we liked each other. he asked me out and i made him wait because i needed to clear my head as i had my problems and i wanted to be sure. throughout our time together and getting to know him, he mentioned about being sad and his darkest hours but never admitted to having depression. although i knew, something about him didn't entirely seem right (happy). not till the day when i said yes to him. when i said yes to him, he was so happy and kissed my forehead before he had to leave to go home. when i got home he texted me saying that its not going to work out and used the "i like you but i dont feel the same" to try and push me away. he later opened up and admitted that he is going through really bad depression as of now and he doesnt want me involved in it or else i might get hurt from him. then added "i really am sorry but this is what is best for you. i promise". i really like this guy, more than anyone could ever know, his special and his the best person i have ever met and i feel terrible because I can help him. i message him small little things everyday to remind him im here and that i miss him. i wish he gave me a chance to prove that i can help him. what can i do? what do i do? what can i do to get him back. i dont want him to suffer, because he deserves so much love and i know i can give that to him. please help me get him back.

SailorsGirfriend My boyfriend is in the Navy and goes away all the time
  • replies: 4

Hi My boyfriend is in the Royal Australian Navy and goes away frequently. He never goes on long trips such as 6 months at a time, but goes away more frequently on shorter stints for example, he will be home 2 weeks then away for 3 weeks etc. These tr... View more

Hi My boyfriend is in the Royal Australian Navy and goes away frequently. He never goes on long trips such as 6 months at a time, but goes away more frequently on shorter stints for example, he will be home 2 weeks then away for 3 weeks etc. These trips have been happening all year and are starting to get the better of me, it's emotionally very tiring to always miss him. I suffer from anxiety and it is triggered when he is away although I am unsure what the actual trigger is. He doesn't really understand why it gives me anxiety, I don't know how to explain it because I am unsure myself. All I know is that it hurts, and I feel hopeless and very alone. At times I feel I don't have the right to have those feelings and should focus on being supportive, he sees other sailor's girlfriends cope better and wonders why I cannot. Just wondering if anyone else out there is in a similar situation, and how they might cope, or their feelings on the situation. Or if anyone has any advice as to how to cope better it would be great. I love him very much, he is an amazing boyfriend, and I hope to marry him one day. Though I'm unsure whether I'm truly cut out for being a sailor's girlfriend.

AliceAlice Relationship too 'boring'. Partner puts everything else before me.
  • replies: 3

Hey guys, what should I do? I'm losing my mind. So my parter and I have been together 2 1/2 yrs. The thing is I'm reaaaally spontaneous & adventurous. When we fell in love he said he was interested in doing all these things with me. But time & time a... View more

Hey guys, what should I do? I'm losing my mind. So my parter and I have been together 2 1/2 yrs. The thing is I'm reaaaally spontaneous & adventurous. When we fell in love he said he was interested in doing all these things with me. But time & time again, he's cancelled on dinner dates, walks in the park, art galleries, going on a camping trip (I went w a m8), Adventures into the country, going on an overseas holiday for a month (I went alone). I had always been extremely independent & was always out doing something, saying 'yes' to things (that was my 'rule' lol). It gave me a lot of amazing experiences that I cherish dearly. But after my last two relationships, I realized I was looking for a long-term partner to share these adventures with. Who would also, at least sometimes say 'yeah, let's go do that!'. Anyway, so when we got together he promised some ideas which for me were a basic foundation to our long-term plans. That we'd do fun things together, live our life, that he was up for adventure. We also both wanted to be together long-term. But now it all feels like a false pretence. He just wants to stay at home and 'cuddle'. Stuff that. We've only been on three dinner dates in the entire time we've been together. He IS a very outgoing, fun guy, but only when it comes to other people and their events. A party at a mates place? Any place a friend wants to go? He's there with bells on. A holiday? Only to visit HIS family, we've been 3 times and I'm super bored there after 3 days. He won't come with me to visit my family. While we're on these holidays, he won't do a anything with me. All I wanted to do was go on a fishing trip, finally found someone to take us but he goes to catch up w an old school friend. I went by myself. He wouldn't even come to the beach with me. Then I finally decided okay, I'll go out and do my own things, and he calls me and tells me he needs me at his side to go visit another family member of his. I tell him I already made some plans, and he hangs up the phone on me! The whole trip. Our whole relationship is about him. Even his family member laughed when I told em about all this. "Haha, yeah he's lovely but really selfish, didn't you know that?" Honestly, I just feel like I'm an annoying pet/toy that's there for cuddles & needs to be taken for walks. The only way I can have fun with him is if I tag along to his things. I know I can do things by myself/w friends. But I wanted to find a partner to share things with

AliceAlice I need help with my partner :(
  • replies: 6

Hi, I'm having some troubles my boyfriend (and now myself) I'm not sure where to turn to for help.We've been in a relationship for 2 1/2 yrs and planning on staying together long term. He's going through a serious bout of depression and in the past (... View more

Hi, I'm having some troubles my boyfriend (and now myself) I'm not sure where to turn to for help.We've been in a relationship for 2 1/2 yrs and planning on staying together long term. He's going through a serious bout of depression and in the past (over 8yrs ago) had attempted suicide multiple times due to this (and other factors). When we got together I thought that he was just going through a tough time, but as I've learned, being seriously depressed and negative is a mood he very easily falls into. I know I can't keep handling this by myself, as it's extremely draining to constantly be unsure of of his mood. I've spoken to some of mine and his close mutual friends and they don't seem to grasp the severity of it.He also heavily identifies with his addictions (alcohol, pot, cigs) and is very stoned/drinks every day. It makes it hard to chat w him.If we have even the slightest relationship troubles, he instantly begins blaming himself and (although he says he would never actually do it) often says "I'm a a s*** human being", or "I just want to die, I keep imagining it". He always says afterwards that he would never actually do those things, but it's a massive guilt trip to be told that I make him feel that way just for asking him to do small things in our relationship (eg go out on a date once in a while, not be so stoned every day etc). I never yell either, I always speak very kindly and respectfully.Because of this I feel like I'm walking on eggshells and have to be constantly happy, because it's never my turn to be sad about anything. It gets to the point where I'm the one consoling him and apologizing for ever bringing something up.I have asked him to see a professional about this, but because he saw professionals in the past (after his suicide attempts), he says he "already knows all that stuff". He also won't take on board any suggestions that I make for the same reason.How do I get him to seek help about this? What can I do? I can't keep helping him by myself.The reason he is now so depressed is because I want to move towns, back in with my mum for a while (because I can't handle this). But also to work on my own life goals. Its not forever but he's guilt tripping me so much about this I feel like I'm single-handedly going to cause him to commit suicide. He says he won't, but he seems very unstable/manic. I'm constantly afraid for him and worried.Thanks for any help you can give :(.