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Chris_B PLEASE READ BEFORE POSTING: 3 important tips to get the most out of this section
  • replies: 0

Hi everyone, The Relationships & Family Issues section is one of the busiest here on our forums. It's also one of the areas where we find members can get themselves into trouble! Before posting here, take a deep breath and be mindful of the following... View more

Hi everyone, The Relationships & Family Issues section is one of the busiest here on our forums. It's also one of the areas where we find members can get themselves into trouble! Before posting here, take a deep breath and be mindful of the following 3 tips: 1. Do you really want to share this with the world? This is a public forum. Are you thinking of posting something that could identify you to a friend or family member? Once you've posted, you can't delete what you've written and we don't take posts down from here unless they've broken one of our community rules. This is because our members spend a lot of time composing replies, and there is a much wider audience that gets a lot out of reading what has been written. It's not fair to ask the community for support, then ask to have it removed once you've read it so others can't also benefit. Use discretion when posting here - think about the level of detail you are sharing, and think also about who might know you are posting here. Also, please keep it clean: this is an all ages forum and explicit discussions about sexual problems are not permitted. Threads and posts of this nature will be removed and your account placed on a moderation hold. 2. What do you want to get out of posting here? Relationship and family issues are stressful. Members sometimes post here seeking advice about a relationship that has broken down, but find themselves getting upset when they don't agree with the response they get. This is a peer support forum, meaning we are not mental health professionals. We are people of all ages and backgrounds, with a wide range of life experiences. While we aim for our discussions to be conducted respectfully, people here will respond with the truth as they see it, from their own experiences and perspectives. We are not here to take sides. Offence is almost never intentional, but it can be sometimes taken. The advice you will see here is not intended to be a substitute for professional counselling. 3. What other support do you have? Most people posting on our forums (about any issue) use this space as a supplement to other supports. This forum is not and cannot be a substitute for offline supports, but it is often a good place to start the ball rolling and find the courage for seeking help. If you are relying solely on an internet forum to resolve your relationship or family issues, you are likely to be disappointed. Check out the Healthy Homes section of our Healthy Families website for further information and resources.

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Tyron Putting your spouse first.
  • replies: 9

Hi All, This is not something I usually do. I mostly bottle it up but need to get it out and this is my only form, as I have no one to talk to. I have been with my wife for 10 years and we were happy. As of the last few years. She has always put our ... View more

Hi All, This is not something I usually do. I mostly bottle it up but need to get it out and this is my only form, as I have no one to talk to. I have been with my wife for 10 years and we were happy. As of the last few years. She has always put our children and other family members infront of me. I work 6 to 7 days a week and don t ask for much at all. She doesn'ttreat me like a man or even a husband. A marriage is a partnership that is constantly being refine, for later years when the kids move out of home, so you can enjoy eachother. Sometimes I have problems expressing my feelings and it turns into an argument, even though thats not what implying. My wife puts everyone before me and this is quite depressing. It has affected my way of looking at life and I start to think, why do I bother with my relationship, only to know that Im at a defalt last. It would be nine to be put first for a change. When I try to talk about my feelings. I told that Im being silly and I need to man up and be a man. The kids are even treating me like this, as they see what my wife is doing. I love my wife and still in love with her. Not sure what to do because I sometimes think why do I bother. I feel that all Im here to do is work, eat, sleep and pay the bills. My wife contributes as much as she can financially, but it would be nice not to work all of the time and for here to get a job to help me out. I know that Im not perfect and I have flaws too. When I try to talk about issues, she shuts me down and will be in denial that she may have issues too. Im thinking of us going to our doctor and discussing about finding a Counselor. Not sure if this is the right thing to do, since we cant discuss this together. I really dont want this of take hold of our marriage. Any advice would be appreciated.

Sunny3 Family therapy
  • replies: 6

My parents want my whole family to go to therapy due to conflicts among us which are not getting resolved. I have agreed to go however I want to take my partner with me as I am very anxious talking to people I don't know and talking about my feelings... View more

My parents want my whole family to go to therapy due to conflicts among us which are not getting resolved. I have agreed to go however I want to take my partner with me as I am very anxious talking to people I don't know and talking about my feelings (In the past for sessions with a psychologist for just me they have attended and it made me feel at ease). My parents have refused to let them come and their only reason was 'we do not have a problem with them' and so they do not need to be there. I have explained the reason why I want them there and asked them if its because it would make them uncomfortable but they said it wasn't and that it is because we are not married yet they are not considered family and therefore cannot come. My parents have also said that they are there to support me, however as the issues are mainly related to me not feeling their support/respect for my feelings I would like my partner to attend). I am an living at home as I am in second year of TAFE and my partner (of 2 years) and I take turns sleeping at each others house so we basically live together. I'm not sure what to do as I really don't want to go without my partner's support but also feel guilty as parents are saying if I don't come without them then i don't want to sort out the problems.

blossom4298 It has all come to an end...
  • replies: 3

A week ago my husband told me that he no longer wanted a relationship with me. He had just come back after being on a job for 8 weeks. We have two beautiful children ages one and four my only concern is for them as I felt that our relationship was he... View more

A week ago my husband told me that he no longer wanted a relationship with me. He had just come back after being on a job for 8 weeks. We have two beautiful children ages one and four my only concern is for them as I felt that our relationship was heading to an end ...didn't think it would actually happen but boy was I wrong. At first he moved into the backroom which we both found really hard so today we both agreed that it would be best if he moved out. So he decided to start straight away and didn't come home till later that night once the kids were asleep to get his clothes etc. I moved out with my husband when we were 18 (now 34) and haven't been on my own since... so now what do I do that I have a house and two kids to look after all by myself. I also have a 10 year struggle with depression, is much better now but obviously with this new venture I am very concern with loosing my shit completely.

jd25 found my daughter
  • replies: 2

20 years ago my girlfriend was heavily pregnant with our daughter, when she left to go back to Victoria we were both young i was 17 she 21, i lost contact with her shortly after my daughter was born, for a long time i have been searching the net for ... View more

20 years ago my girlfriend was heavily pregnant with our daughter, when she left to go back to Victoria we were both young i was 17 she 21, i lost contact with her shortly after my daughter was born, for a long time i have been searching the net for any trace of her to mo avail, a few days ago i found a message on fb from my daughter saying she was looking for her father, the message was sent 4 years ago, I've only just seen it now, i replied but haven't heard back, don't know what to do my heart is broken

Longlost The love of my life has left me
  • replies: 7

Hi, I'm new here and not sure what to expect but I guess nothing can be worse than how I am feeling now. just over 6 weeks ago my partner of 3 and a half years broke up with me. We were waiting to move into the apartment he had bought and it was so s... View more

Hi, I'm new here and not sure what to expect but I guess nothing can be worse than how I am feeling now. just over 6 weeks ago my partner of 3 and a half years broke up with me. We were waiting to move into the apartment he had bought and it was so sudden... He said he isn't happy and he needs to be on his own to sort himself out. He works FIFO and had really started shutting me out. I moved into my own place and am living alone at the moment, I have tried not contacting him, removed him from all social media and deleted his number but we have spoken a few times since it happens, last night being the first time I had seen him in 6 weeks and the last time. He wanted to explain some things to me to help me understand, he still loves me and this was so incredibly hard for him to do but he feels lost, unhappy and wants to be alone while he works his life out. he wants me to be happy and to find someone who can give me everything I need. He said he will always be there if I ever need him and he loves and cares about me so much. He said it would be selfish to say in a year or two who know what would happen because he doesn't want me to hang onto him and to move on and be happy. ive booked an appointment to see a counsellor on Friday but there hasn't been one week since it happened I haven't cried. I've never loved anyone like him and the relationship was never bad so I'm finding it so hard and I don't know what to do.. i was keeping active but the last week I've fallen in a heap.

Quiettall Redefining your relationship in retirement or when one returns from long absence due to work
  • replies: 5

Hello I have been pondering recently about how one redefines a relationship with your partner after returning from a posting away from the household. As an example, I have had 2 long (3 month each) postings overseas working in different cultures to w... View more

Hello I have been pondering recently about how one redefines a relationship with your partner after returning from a posting away from the household. As an example, I have had 2 long (3 month each) postings overseas working in different cultures to where I live back here in Australia. I have returned to find a real confusion or sense of disillusionment about how Australians put so much value on their possessions over their relationships and more meaningful issues in life. I find it hard to sit and participate, let alone listen to the mundane conversations that go on between friends or family members, who have not experienced working and living in poor conditions. It is a real adjustment and for me, has shone some interesting lights on what are important in my life, and how I want to re-examine those issues with my partner, although she is more than happy to just cruise along, oblivious to the wider world. Although I missed home andwas glad to be back, I sometimes find myself thinking I now am in a mind space which is more comfortable with less, and being able to dfo more meaningful things in less fortunate community situations. I would be really interested in other peoples' views, who may have experienced similar things.

PattyGM Discover infidelity 9 years ago but still feel depressed
  • replies: 2

Hi, I decided to tell my story because for 9 years I have been suffering alone and it is getting worst. After 3 years of marriage I got pregnant right when we were about to go to study abroad. We both had been awarded scholarships to go to Spain, so ... View more

Hi, I decided to tell my story because for 9 years I have been suffering alone and it is getting worst. After 3 years of marriage I got pregnant right when we were about to go to study abroad. We both had been awarded scholarships to go to Spain, so we decided to go and have the baby there. I left first as I had an interview to present and he was supposed to join me in Spain two weeks after. The night right after my interview I had a horrible dream and when I woke up I decided to check his email, something that I never did because I trusted him 100%. To my surprise I found three horrible emails where he was saying goodbye to this other woman in the most romantic way, she did the same and basically they were thanking each other for the wonderful time they had had together. I almost die of sadness, being 10 weeks pregnant I only wanted to stop that pregnancy but I did not do it. He came to Spain and somehow convinced me that it was nothing, that there was not sex involved, that he "lost his mind" and that that relation only lasted one month. I forgave him but still felt that what he told me was not the truth. I got the phone number of this woman and asked directly if she had had sex with my husband to what she said yes. I faced him again with the new information and he accepted it. Since then we are still together (9 years have passed), we had another baby, but I have regular periods of depression, I feel that not all the truth was said, that he is lying to me on everything he says. I became the most obsessive person checking his email every single day, his mobile, his wallet....this is going to sound weird but somehow I have the hope of finding something else. Perhaps I am looking for a excuse to convince myself I do not want to be with him anymore. The maximum I have found along these years is porn pictures or videos, which has stolen my self-esteem completely. I have lost the desire to live, I continue with my life because two children are a huge responsibility and I continue working hard and doing the best I can only for them. However, almost every night I pray it is the last nigh of my life, I just want to disappear. We look like a normal family, but I just feel totally empty. I fear so much being without him, but I fear even more that he will cheat on me again. I do not want to tear this family apart because I do not want my children to suffer. I am losing control of my own mind, just too depressed. I need help...

anonymous175 30 Day Contact Challenge
  • replies: 8

I have decided to do a 30 Day Contact Challage. I realised I have spent my entire life contacting family and friends. Organising events etc... I am tried of this and no one seems to reciprocate. Thus I decided not to contact anyone for 30 days in the... View more

I have decided to do a 30 Day Contact Challage. I realised I have spent my entire life contacting family and friends. Organising events etc... I am tried of this and no one seems to reciprocate. Thus I decided not to contact anyone for 30 days in the hope that I could determine who in fact wants to talk/spend time with me. I am in week two of this challenge and no one has contacted me. I feel sad and deverstated. Has anyone done/been through a similar experience? How did you deal with it at the time? What did you do post the challenge/experience? Help

anonymous175 Facebook & 'Friends'
  • replies: 6

I really struggle with Facebook. I have several 'Friends' that are toxic and/or I don't want contact with anymore. The issue with this is I live in a small country town therefore it's hard to do something about it. I have already 'Unfollowed' these p... View more

I really struggle with Facebook. I have several 'Friends' that are toxic and/or I don't want contact with anymore. The issue with this is I live in a small country town therefore it's hard to do something about it. I have already 'Unfollowed' these people, but feel it's time to cut ties for good. Do anyone have any suggestions regarding my dilemma?

Doolhof Crying tears on the inside
  • replies: 51

Yesterday was the 23rd anniversary of our son's premature birth and early death. I feel like I have no one here to share those thoughts and emotions with in person. That makes me feel so very much alone and very sad. I've been crying rivers of tears ... View more

Yesterday was the 23rd anniversary of our son's premature birth and early death. I feel like I have no one here to share those thoughts and emotions with in person. That makes me feel so very much alone and very sad. I've been crying rivers of tears on the inside. I keep putting one foot in front of the other and keep plodding along through the day. I'd love for this pain to leave me alone. At times it feels so consuming, like it will swallow me up. But I keep going on. One painful step at a time. I never knew that love and grief could hurt so much. My dearest son, at least you are there with your siblings, where ever "There" may be. I will always love you all with all my heart. Huge hugs and never ending love, from your Mum xxx