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BeyondBlue Hey there - read this to see what this section is all about
  • replies: 0

Hello and welcome This is the Relationships and Family section where members can talk about what is happening in their lives and the people they live with. We know that who we live with can make a big impact on our wellbeing, both in a good way or a ... View more

Hello and welcome This is the Relationships and Family section where members can talk about what is happening in their lives and the people they live with. We know that who we live with can make a big impact on our wellbeing, both in a good way or a negative way. As always, we want to hear your story and how it impacts you and encourage everyone to support each other with kindness. There are a few things to consider when posting in this section so we can all get the most out of it: Everyone’s situation is unique. We all do our best to share what is important in our story but we can never share it all. Let’s be mindful we can’t know all of everyone’s story. Anonymous but public. These posts are available to everyone and while the moderation team will keep it anonymous, its still up for everyone to read. Have a think about what you want to share to get the best support for you. Please stay safe. This space is an amazing way to seek support from others who might understand what you are going through. We want to hear how you are going and what is happening for you. Please also consider 1800RESPECT if you don’t feel safe or 000 if you are in danger right now. You deserve to be safe. Thank you again for joining this conversation, your contributions are worthy and important to us here. Beyond Blue

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Cherries Pushed my support network away for good
  • replies: 4

i have been suffering from what i assume is depression for the last two/three years due to past family and relationship incidents. i have lost a lot of my social network due to no motivation to socialise, my family have issues of their own to deal wi... View more

i have been suffering from what i assume is depression for the last two/three years due to past family and relationship incidents. i have lost a lot of my social network due to no motivation to socialise, my family have issues of their own to deal with so i'm on my own here. i had recently met someone very genuine, honest and caring. However as much as i tried to let them in i couldn't do it and had pushed them away multiple times. This person has understood my issues and perservered until yesterday when i guess the final straw was drawn. i'm 100% sure all hope is gone as their last words were harsh but fair and for me to never contact them again. they will never know how much i cared about them and how much i want and need their support. i don't know what to do, i haven't stopped crying over this. do i let them go and lie in my bed or do i try and contact them again? any advice would be greatly appreciated.

Ambrosia Empty friends/empty family = alone
  • replies: 10

Hi. Well, it's prob been a yr since I posted - but hey, if any time of yr could make you feel bad, it's Xmas! How many genuine friends do people have? Really? I'm 41 and my circle is incredibly small. My husband is FANTASTIC and my best friend I have... View more

Hi. Well, it's prob been a yr since I posted - but hey, if any time of yr could make you feel bad, it's Xmas! How many genuine friends do people have? Really? I'm 41 and my circle is incredibly small. My husband is FANTASTIC and my best friend I have some old friends that's very hard to see (I work I hospitality and the hrs are non-conducive to maintaining relationships). my family life is a mess. My mother died 7 yrs ago, my father left me for another woman (he has cancer but we can't see him because she won't let us), I'm estranged from my sister and my brother only appears when he needs too. One so-called best friend (of almost 30 yrs), stopped talking to me because we had a falling out (I believe many mature people would see it for what it was and move on - although deep down I believe it's because she's so miserable that my happy marriage and successes is pushing to the forefront the misery she's trying to deny). My other so-called best friend, of 20 yrs or so, became so unsupportive and rude and belittling, I'm guessing over the same thing), that I called it quits last year. so now it's me, my husband, a handful of old workmates that I struggle to see (I've lost some along the way - the girl I was bridesmaid for moved to tassie and forgot to tell me!) and my beloved cat. i work a lot but I adore the commerardery of my workplace that I don't want to give it up because then I'm worried I would lose those friends too (I know I will . Staff range from 19-47 yo so I know a lot of it is friends due to location). I just don't want to be alone . I love spending time by myself but I can't handle loneliness. so how many friends do adults have? What's common? I'm proud I cleared false friends out of my life over the years but I don't want to be alone . I won't cope. That's why I work so much and have gone back to Uni. To fill a hole where my love and trust disappeared to.

Angelstar My Partners Mother is crazy
  • replies: 4

I honestly don't know what to do about this lady. My future in law. My partner and I are quite serious about our relationship, but his mother is convinced that I'm a good digger or to that affect. She's recently divorced last year and has a relations... View more

I honestly don't know what to do about this lady. My future in law. My partner and I are quite serious about our relationship, but his mother is convinced that I'm a good digger or to that affect. She's recently divorced last year and has a relationship with a man who everytime I see him, he has a drink in hand or smells of alcohol and smoke, she has triplet boys at home as well as my partner who still lives at home. She harasses him about him spending money all The time, even though that money is money he has earned himself and spends on things he wants, she complains that I don't spend as much money on him, so why should he be using his on me? I'm a student currently looking for work and he has a job. Just yesterday she kicked him out of her house, which he pays rent and board money to live at, and told him to do what he wants, with seemingly no trigger at why she was angry at all. She was apparently upset that all I bought my partner for his birthday was a key ring, but we also went out on a date and dinner earlier that week, as well as Christmas, I didn't give him a present, because we went on a trip together for New Years. Now, she's harassing him with messages that I'm no good for him, and that I'm just using him and one day he'll see I'm no good at all. She never talks to me, and ignores my attempts at conversation. I really don't know how to clear her misconceptions of me, if she won't even talk to me. For the time being my partner is staying with me and friends, but we're both scared to death of her because she's saying things like she'll call the police for assault and tresspassing when we went to gather his belongings. She had the aura of someone who would kill, were honestly scared she would try to. how do you even deal with someone is a reasonable way, when they have no reason?

DianaPrince Depressed. Love her and left her.
  • replies: 10

This is what my partner did. After a period of withdrawing from me he told me loves me more than anything or anyone.. but that he can't commit to a relationship and can't be with me. A few weeks later he said he said he regretted breaking up with me.... View more

This is what my partner did. After a period of withdrawing from me he told me loves me more than anything or anyone.. but that he can't commit to a relationship and can't be with me. A few weeks later he said he said he regretted breaking up with me... and that he still loves me... but doesn't want his depression to hurt me. It's almost beautiful in a way... after some time talking again he again withdrew and this new years told me he wants me to let go. I can't. I love him. I will always love him. I will never abandon him. I don't understand why he left if he loves me so? Why push away the one person who loves you the most... the one person who cares and can really support you?

Boatbuilder82 Trying to move on from ex wife but still love her
  • replies: 8

I'm 34 I've recently separated from my wife of 11 years I have 4 beautiful daughters. my problem is she moved on from our marriage 12 months before we split and while she is now dating a new bloke I am still mourning the demise of our marriage. i wil... View more

I'm 34 I've recently separated from my wife of 11 years I have 4 beautiful daughters. my problem is she moved on from our marriage 12 months before we split and while she is now dating a new bloke I am still mourning the demise of our marriage. i will admit I have depression and was never the easiest person to live with but I was seeking help for myself in the way of antidepressants and counselling and when I became apparent we were having marital difficulties we sought counselling once and could never get her to commit to more sessions i chose to re invent my self by having weight loss surgery and be a better person for her and the kids but on the eve of my operation she told me our marriage was over and she didn't want me to go through with it if it was for her i convinced myself it was still the right decision for me so I still went through with it and now I'm 27 kilos lighter and more depressed than ever because I still love her she is moving away, taking the kids away and has a new love i am absolutely gutted don't know where to turn. Blaming myself is an hourly occurrence and everyone in my family and hers is fence sitting except for my father who hates her guts and if I vent to him he will make waves feel so alone not fair to dump on my kids cause they are young and having a hard enough time already fear I will never come back from this

Friendzle Insecure new relationship
  • replies: 5

I'm recently out of a long term relationship where my ex was emotionally abusive and cheated on me multiple times. The break up was quite traumatic and drawn out, but I've finally been able to move on. I'm 1 month into a new relationship with a FIFO ... View more

I'm recently out of a long term relationship where my ex was emotionally abusive and cheated on me multiple times. The break up was quite traumatic and drawn out, but I've finally been able to move on. I'm 1 month into a new relationship with a FIFO guy, which is a totally different dynamic than what I'm used to. We had a great connection while he was here, but since he's been gone the conversation has turned very sexual. I worry that we're building a relationship on just sex. I really like him, and I want things to work out. He's really sweet and takes me on nice dates, but the shift in our dialogue makes me worry that its just sex. I know I'm still dealing with my own deamons and battling the insecuirty that goes hand in hand with being emotionally and physically cheated on, so are my concerns genuine? Or just insecure thoughts I should dismiss?

Frankie79 How to forgive and move forward
  • replies: 4

I caught my partner chatting to other girls online. We do t live together and have a long distance relationship. I'm having trouble forgiving and forgetting and moving forward. I feel like it's consuming me. Any advice?

I caught my partner chatting to other girls online. We do t live together and have a long distance relationship. I'm having trouble forgiving and forgetting and moving forward. I feel like it's consuming me. Any advice?

lightmyway Dating with a disability
  • replies: 3

Hi, I’m 34 diagnosed with mild intellectual disability and schizoaffective disorder. After being diagnosed with schizoaffective disorder I have since been working for a disability enterprise (sheltered workshop) on DSP. I found open employment stress... View more

Hi, I’m 34 diagnosed with mild intellectual disability and schizoaffective disorder. After being diagnosed with schizoaffective disorder I have since been working for a disability enterprise (sheltered workshop) on DSP. I found open employment stressful as it was with my I.D. Before I got sick with this mental illness I was married to a Div1 Nurse who was slim, attractive and she had a Master’s degree. It wasn’t long after we married I started getting episodes of psychosis it really scared her and was affecting her work and study. She was in the process of starting nurse to paramedic Pathway course. I was shattered when she called it off as we were planning on kids too. The schizoaffective disorder has since gone into remission as I take medication religiously and see a clinical psychologist as well as a psychiatrist who is now reducing my medication. Because the mental illness is well under control I have ventured onto online dating. I am on oasis active as it’s free. Although I consider myself attractive I must be realistic in my standards because of disabilities. The women I’m seeking and send contact requests to I feel are within my socio-economic level. I’m constantly getting rejections by women who are single mums on parenting payments or carers payments, overweight and like me have little education. When they take a bit of time to know me they end up rejecting me because either because I find it difficult to carry a conversation or they say I can’t be trusted with their kids. I don’t understand why I was marriage material to an attractive medical professional, but dismissed as inadequate, inferior and not up to standards to overweight women who smoke on Centrelink benefits? I feel we are the same socio status but they see themselves as too good for me. I feel so sad, worthless and about to give up.

happilyeverafter I am the control freak girlfriend!
  • replies: 6

Firstly, I should say that I suffer from both anxiety and depression, both of which have escalated after my marriage ended with the Father of my young children. I have become that anxious, overbearing girlfriend that I never thought I would be, and d... View more

Firstly, I should say that I suffer from both anxiety and depression, both of which have escalated after my marriage ended with the Father of my young children. I have become that anxious, overbearing girlfriend that I never thought I would be, and definately don't want to be! We have had a rough start to our relationship, with a difficult ex spouse on his side and 4 children between us, it's not expected to be easy. I just let the anxiety take over. I read into every little thing - he has a bad day, I take it personally like he doesn't want me or love me anymore. We have an argument and I feel like our relationship is over. Granted, he doesn't cope with my emotions very well, but he is trying. I have to know where he has been, I can't resist the urge to check his phone/facebook. When he's not feeling up to having sex, I take it as a sign of rejection. I really just want to be that person he loves to come home to. I know the way I am at the moment makes me not nice to be around. Every day I tell myself 'I'll just focus on me and my girls and be there for him when he needs, the rest will fall into place'. But I feel like I need that constant reassurance, and if I don't get it, it takes control over every aspect of my life until I go on a downward spiral into depression and panic attacks. What do I do? Sometimes I wake up feeling a little stronger and a bit more cheery and things are perfect, but I think my emotions are destroying our relationship. I can't even talk to him about it anymore. He just gets frustrated....

Lamp Relationship anxiety
  • replies: 4

Hi there for the past few months I have developed anxiety. I have always been a stressful person but it has got a lot worse. I have a great group for friends and recently have been divided due to a few couples splitting up. Since this has happened I'... View more

Hi there for the past few months I have developed anxiety. I have always been a stressful person but it has got a lot worse. I have a great group for friends and recently have been divided due to a few couples splitting up. Since this has happened I've started to question my own relationship. I have been with my partner for 8 years. We have always had a great relationship, I can't remember the last time we had a massive argument. We love each other and want the same things from life. For the past few weeks all I can think about is our relationship and I have pretty much talked myself into not loving him anymore and wanting to break up. i don't know what to do anymore. I'm scared if I break up with him it will be the wrong decision and it's the anxiety making me feel this way. Is anyone else going through this? Does anyone have any suggestions on how I can get a better picture and to stop feeling this way. thanks