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Chris_B PLEASE READ BEFORE POSTING: 3 important tips to get the most out of this section
  • replies: 0

Hi everyone, The Relationships & Family Issues section is one of the busiest here on our forums. It's also one of the areas where we find members can get themselves into trouble! Before posting here, take a deep breath and be mindful of the following... View more

Hi everyone, The Relationships & Family Issues section is one of the busiest here on our forums. It's also one of the areas where we find members can get themselves into trouble! Before posting here, take a deep breath and be mindful of the following 3 tips: 1. Do you really want to share this with the world? This is a public forum. Are you thinking of posting something that could identify you to a friend or family member? Once you've posted, you can't delete what you've written and we don't take posts down from here unless they've broken one of our community rules. This is because our members spend a lot of time composing replies, and there is a much wider audience that gets a lot out of reading what has been written. It's not fair to ask the community for support, then ask to have it removed once you've read it so others can't also benefit. Use discretion when posting here - think about the level of detail you are sharing, and think also about who might know you are posting here. Also, please keep it clean: this is an all ages forum and explicit discussions about sexual problems are not permitted. Threads and posts of this nature will be removed and your account placed on a moderation hold. 2. What do you want to get out of posting here? Relationship and family issues are stressful. Members sometimes post here seeking advice about a relationship that has broken down, but find themselves getting upset when they don't agree with the response they get. This is a peer support forum, meaning we are not mental health professionals. We are people of all ages and backgrounds, with a wide range of life experiences. While we aim for our discussions to be conducted respectfully, people here will respond with the truth as they see it, from their own experiences and perspectives. We are not here to take sides. Offence is almost never intentional, but it can be sometimes taken. The advice you will see here is not intended to be a substitute for professional counselling. 3. What other support do you have? Most people posting on our forums (about any issue) use this space as a supplement to other supports. This forum is not and cannot be a substitute for offline supports, but it is often a good place to start the ball rolling and find the courage for seeking help. If you are relying solely on an internet forum to resolve your relationship or family issues, you are likely to be disappointed. Check out the Healthy Homes section of our Healthy Families website for further information and resources.

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82Milly Husband may be gay. Warning Explicit details. What do I do?
  • replies: 3

I’ve been with my husband for five years. We have two children. I wondered if the way he wanted sex was a bit of a worry but I asked him outright and he assured me no he is not gay. I trusted him. It would have been a deal breaker. We’ve always had a... View more

I’ve been with my husband for five years. We have two children. I wondered if the way he wanted sex was a bit of a worry but I asked him outright and he assured me no he is not gay. I trusted him. It would have been a deal breaker. We’ve always had a pretty good sex life and we get on really well. He had a few long term girlfriends before me and a lot of casual female partners. When I was pregnant with the first baby he let slip that one of his Female friends, who he’d previously told me had only ever been a friend, he had actually slept with. This concerned me as she was regularly phoning him and was posting inappropriate comments on some of his Facebook posts. I told him it was not ok and he said he talked to her and she blocked him. Her reaction seemed extreme. Unfortunately I had lost trust and I checked his messenger. I found some pretty inappropriate recent sexy conversations. I was 5 months pregnant at the time they wrote them. I tried to talk to him but he went ballistic. Said I broke his trust, should not be snooping. I apologised for snooping but he refused to admit any wrong doing for the sexy chats, would not apologise. So I still have trust issues. This week pregnancy hormones getting the better of me I had a look at his email. I have discovered that just a few weeks prior to our relationship, and for at least a year prior he was having gay hook ups arranged online. Explicit requests. They would exchange nudes and then he would get the address, make a time and I can only assume follow through and hook up with these men. Now I’m aware I got this information by a not ok method - I checked his email. But what do I do? Is the past really in the past when it comes to sexual orientation? He had flat out denied having any gay desires or past to me. He is a great father and husband, and he is excited to be a dad again, comes to all my appointments. Is it possible that was a phase or is he likely repressing being gay? If he is gay and wants a facade of a happy family we can probably work that out somehow so he can have his relationships on the down low and I guess I can too, but we can parent together if that’s what we could agree to. I would be willing to make that work. But I know he will deny he is gay. How do I eek out the truth and what he wants from someone who is repressing something like this?

Miss_Firefly some guidance or support needed for someone who has a partner possibly with BPD? schizophrenia?
  • replies: 1

Ok. So i don't even know where to start here. So i'll try keep it to the point and elaborate if and where required. I have been with my partner for 6 years. it has been turbulent at its worst and heavenly at its best. after much research online about... View more

Ok. So i don't even know where to start here. So i'll try keep it to the point and elaborate if and where required. I have been with my partner for 6 years. it has been turbulent at its worst and heavenly at its best. after much research online about his behavior and issues we have had, it seems to match bpd and i had word from a friend who knows his family and it was passed down to me to her from his sister that he has schizophrenia. Now before i go on, i know he has had some issues in the past from his childhood which helps me understand his behaviours. and i love him regardless. I dont think i have the energy to go into everything now to be honest after the day i have had, i am struggling myself with the situation. Is there a support group for partners suffering this illness that i can talk to? or the phone? I really wanted to reach out here but my energy levels have drained. luckily i had an awesome friend with me today who had experience with a family member having bipolar who helped me avoid what could have been a very dramatic confrontation when i was face to face (almost) with him and another woman (who was said she was his ex girlfriend) long story... always is huh? i think i need a professionals advice. i need to do what is right for me and to do that i need to understand a bit more about the illness directly related to a relationship... i want to also add (without sounding cocky) that i am proud of myself today for holding back and not confronting him and flying off the handle (which also relates back to major trust issues on my side) which i acknowledge as well... Thank you for reading and i hope i can get some people reaching out who can guide me in the right direction.. xo

JJL030713 Friend ignoring him
  • replies: 2

Hi, my son suffers from severe social anxiety, In Primary school he made a good friend who was one year ahead of him, Anyway his friend went off to High school while he did his year 6 last year feeling lonely. Now this year my son has started High sc... View more

Hi, my son suffers from severe social anxiety, In Primary school he made a good friend who was one year ahead of him, Anyway his friend went off to High school while he did his year 6 last year feeling lonely. Now this year my son has started High school, he hasn’t gone much at all this year but when he does he feels lonely, I have spoken to teachers and they re-introduced him to his friend from primary and his new group of friends but he reckons that they all ignore him. He tells me that he feels stupid and has a dumb brain and he doesn’t know what to say. I feel helpless and am unsure of what I am able to do to help him? Any helpful information would be wonderful.

QuietLily What do I do about toxic mother
  • replies: 1

Less than a month ago my Dad passed away. My mum and dad split up when I was 2. They weren't really all that close. I haven't had any time to grieve properly because ever since he passed my mum has been creating issues. My whole life she's constantly... View more

Less than a month ago my Dad passed away. My mum and dad split up when I was 2. They weren't really all that close. I haven't had any time to grieve properly because ever since he passed my mum has been creating issues. My whole life she's constantly criticising me, calling me selfish, always talking down to me and never able to accept when she's done wrong. And I've kinda just dealt with it and apologised even when I know I shouldn't have but j just wanted to keep the peace. We've constantly been arguing again since he died. And the other night we had the biggest fight and she said she no longer wants to talk to me. Now, I was living in QLD with her at the time and came temporarily to my home state SA to be with and care for my dad. All of my belongings are still in QLD at the house we were sharing together. She sent me a text the morning after our fight saying I was no longer welcome in QLD and that she would pack all my belongings and tell me the size of it all so I can organise to get it brought down but I am very uncomfortable with the idea of her packing my stuff for me. Not to mention I have a lot of delicate sentimental stuff like crystal wear from my late Poppy. I don't know that she's going to pack it well enough for transport. She's essentially closed the door and when I tried to ask previously if I could get the house key so I can fly to QLD while she's in SA and pack my things and get it out of her hair asap she tells me that she's not jumping to cater for what I want and saying I'm being selfish again I just don't know what to do. I just want to sort it asap so I can start processing my father's death and not be stressed about her like I always am.

Ecm94 Social Media in Relationship
  • replies: 2

So I've been with my partner for over 3 years now, we live together and we just welcomed our first child in May. He's an amazing partner, always affectionate and always trusted him (even though I've had trust issues previously due to an ex messaging ... View more

So I've been with my partner for over 3 years now, we live together and we just welcomed our first child in May. He's an amazing partner, always affectionate and always trusted him (even though I've had trust issues previously due to an ex messaging and sending pics to girls online). Anyway, yesterday I discovered he had been liking a few pics of other girls on Instagram. The pics were mostly of them half naked and not just one account. This really surprised me. Not only because my partner is always telling me how beautiful he thinks I am and genuinely is a nice guy but also because he has said before that he isn't attracted to girls that look like that. I don't believe he would go any further than liking these pictures as he was genuinely apologetic when I confronted him and said he didn't know why he did it. He has also had experience with cheating in the past (not him, his parents and also an ex) so I doubt he has any intentions of cheating but I'm just feeling like everything he has said is a lie. I'm nothing like these girls, especially now I've recently had a child. Feeling really down about how I look and just wanting some justification as to why he would do this.

Mum Chris Bit scared
  • replies: 5

Under a lot of stress and my support network has let me down. Home is a lot and I had a couple of friends that I could be with and pretend life was good. I can't stop crying and I am desperate to keep a happy face at home. My friends have really let ... View more

Under a lot of stress and my support network has let me down. Home is a lot and I had a couple of friends that I could be with and pretend life was good. I can't stop crying and I am desperate to keep a happy face at home. My friends have really let me down and I'm more upset than I should be. In my mind I know they are human and not perfect but it's hurt me. I'm old and so are they and they have acted like children and I'm excluded from some outings and they can only see me on their terms. I'm allowing people to hurt me at home and at work. How do I get strong and not feel so emotional. I need to harden up. Be tough. My husband threatened to divorce me unless I did what he wanted and then my friends let me down. I'm not going to do what he wants because I don't agree. Sorry for being vague. On top of it may lose my job. So probably normal 2020. I'm on all the meds I can take and been to therapy evidently I am doing all the right things but geez I'm tired.

anders Would you tell your parents everything?
  • replies: 2

Hi - Im 36yrs old - my parents are conservative so I usually keep things to myself about the decisions I make in life. But now its come to the point that my boyfriend wants them to know that he is divorced with 4 kids (something I didnt tell them whe... View more

Hi - Im 36yrs old - my parents are conservative so I usually keep things to myself about the decisions I make in life. But now its come to the point that my boyfriend wants them to know that he is divorced with 4 kids (something I didnt tell them when they met him and also they live overseas). Would you tell them knowing all the drama that would ensue as a result of it?

Talon Am I being selfish
  • replies: 3

Hi there, I’ve been separated for over two years. Going through the motions with property settlement and child care arrangements still!!! I live with my ex and two children, a daughter aged 7 years and son aged 4 years. I have 2 adult sons to a previ... View more

Hi there, I’ve been separated for over two years. Going through the motions with property settlement and child care arrangements still!!! I live with my ex and two children, a daughter aged 7 years and son aged 4 years. I have 2 adult sons to a previous marriage. Yes I don’t think I do marriage very well?!? My ex has a new boyfriend who also lives with us, or at least stays with us more than he does at his place. That’s fine and I actually get along great with him. I’ve rambled a bit here and will get to the point of this post. I have always been a fan of the ocean, swimming in it, body surfing/boarding, snorkelling. And I think the lifestyle of living at the beach would be great. I’d go so far as to say it has been my dream to live this lifestyle since childhood. But you don’t choose where your parents decide to live. I really want to move to the beach. Preferably near nsw/qld border where my dad lives. It’s a long way from my children who I love dearly. I spend most of my time with them. My 4 year old son is like my shadow and that’s fine by me, he’s a little legend. I just wanted to put it out there for opinions of whether it would be selfish, prudent or otherwise to make that move? My ex wouldn’t be happy at al with this and more importantly, well, only important thing to me, is how this may affect my children. I’m 50 now and don’t want to wait forever to make this move, if I get to. Any thoughts, opinions??

Pinkandblue82 Husband completely shutting me out
  • replies: 2

Hi i saw a msg from a happy ending massage girl on my husbands phone and he has not said a word to me since, he not coming to bed or anytging unfortunatley it’s not the first time something like this has happened, but the msg obviously means they hav... View more

Hi i saw a msg from a happy ending massage girl on my husbands phone and he has not said a word to me since, he not coming to bed or anytging unfortunatley it’s not the first time something like this has happened, but the msg obviously means they have been seeing each other for a while because it was quite personal im Devestated I just want to sleep and never wake up we have had many many rough patches and over last few weeks have noticed him pulling away and I know he is no longer attracted to me, when we go out he doesn’t look at me only other women we have been together 19 years, worst part is I just want him to hold me - that’s how screwed up I am emotionally i have been told before he is a narcissist so I guess I have been groomed to feel this way sorry for blubber but I am completely alone hiding away crying to hide it from my kids