Relationship and family issues

Anything to do with managing relationships and family, including parenting, separation, loneliness, divorce, family and friendships.

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Chris_B PLEASE READ BEFORE POSTING: 3 important tips to get the most out of this section
  • replies: 0

Hi everyone, The Relationships & Family Issues section is one of the busiest here on our forums. It's also one of the areas where we find members can get themselves into trouble! Before posting here, take a deep breath and be mindful of the following... View more

Hi everyone, The Relationships & Family Issues section is one of the busiest here on our forums. It's also one of the areas where we find members can get themselves into trouble! Before posting here, take a deep breath and be mindful of the following 3 tips: 1. Do you really want to share this with the world? This is a public forum. Are you thinking of posting something that could identify you to a friend or family member? Once you've posted, you can't delete what you've written and we don't take posts down from here unless they've broken one of our community rules. This is because our members spend a lot of time composing replies, and there is a much wider audience that gets a lot out of reading what has been written. It's not fair to ask the community for support, then ask to have it removed once you've read it so others can't also benefit. Use discretion when posting here - think about the level of detail you are sharing, and think also about who might know you are posting here. Also, please keep it clean: this is an all ages forum and explicit discussions about sexual problems are not permitted. Threads and posts of this nature will be removed and your account placed on a moderation hold. 2. What do you want to get out of posting here? Relationship and family issues are stressful. Members sometimes post here seeking advice about a relationship that has broken down, but find themselves getting upset when they don't agree with the response they get. This is a peer support forum, meaning we are not mental health professionals. We are people of all ages and backgrounds, with a wide range of life experiences. While we aim for our discussions to be conducted respectfully, people here will respond with the truth as they see it, from their own experiences and perspectives. We are not here to take sides. Offence is almost never intentional, but it can be sometimes taken. The advice you will see here is not intended to be a substitute for professional counselling. 3. What other support do you have? Most people posting on our forums (about any issue) use this space as a supplement to other supports. This forum is not and cannot be a substitute for offline supports, but it is often a good place to start the ball rolling and find the courage for seeking help. If you are relying solely on an internet forum to resolve your relationship or family issues, you are likely to be disappointed. Check out the Healthy Homes section of our Healthy Families website for further information and resources.

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Lola_Lou Feeling alone
  • replies: 4

Hi So I dont know how to do this so sorry if its a bit messy. So I am currently studying at home online, my family background is a little complicated my mum for the last 12 years has been in and out of mental health clinics. Recently she has to go in... View more

Hi So I dont know how to do this so sorry if its a bit messy. So I am currently studying at home online, my family background is a little complicated my mum for the last 12 years has been in and out of mental health clinics. Recently she has to go in for 4-6 weeks I usually don't mind helping out at home as I've got 3 brothers and two sister which one is medically complex and has recently been diagnosed with autism I am basically a second mum. Since I was a preteen ive given up a lot to help out, but I feel so emotionally and physically tired. I have lost a lot over the last year including all my friends because of corona and the fact I was not able to see them and I've lost my job. Which was my only source to getting out the house. I just feel so alone, I have one friend but she cant go out as she is basically house bound and to unwell for visitors. I get so angry and upset about the tiniest issue, I also binge eat because of this and my weight has gone up. I don't have a lot of people I can speak to and I don't know what to do, I wanna feel better but I dont know where to begin. I want friends to go out with or people I can talk to, I want a job but cant seem to find one and I dont want to be a "mother figure" to my siblings. Its not my reasonability anymore I am sick of it. ( Okay rant over )

Patches89 Australian border and long distance
  • replies: 1

February 2020 when I finally decided to go back to my home country for a much needed break from all the chaos that had happened in my life (from depression, anxiety, to being suicidal, ending a 10 years old relationship, struggling to get a residency... View more

February 2020 when I finally decided to go back to my home country for a much needed break from all the chaos that had happened in my life (from depression, anxiety, to being suicidal, ending a 10 years old relationship, struggling to get a residency, to what not). I was leaving behind a lot of things in Sydney. Including my new found love. We both were sceptical about the decision but given the circumstances and how bad my mental condition was, I thought it was the best thing to do. To spend some time with my family (especially my little nephew who is the love of my life at the moment) and to figure out my life on my own. Then the covid happened. The whole world kindof paused and we were to. First few months were okay coz I was getting to spend time with my nephew. And I was doing something I always wanted to do, Arts. I rediscovered my fondness for arts and design and it just changed my life. Like any other long distance couple, we do talk over the phone, video chats. Thanks to technology. But at time it gets really hard. Not being able to see and feel that person is just heart breaking. While people in some part of the world (especially Australia) have already started the pre-covid normal life, some people are still struggling. With this uncertainty of international border reopening in Australia, it feels like we're fighting a never ending battle.

User95 How do I make sense of this?
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Me and my ex were in a relationship for 3 years. We agreed on no contact due to us both still having feelings for eachother, and the breakup was very respectful with no bad feelings involved. During those 3 years, we got a dog together which we both ... View more

Me and my ex were in a relationship for 3 years. We agreed on no contact due to us both still having feelings for eachother, and the breakup was very respectful with no bad feelings involved. During those 3 years, we got a dog together which we both agreed would stay at his house and I can see her anytime I want asking as I message him before hand. I messaged him asking to see her Thursday which he said she would love to see me and ‘might see you Saturday :)’. On Saturday, I got there to see her and found out he was there, he stayed inside on the couch, and made me feel very sad and awkward that we were so close yet he chose to ignore me and didn’t even say ‘Hi’. It’s got me feeling very confused and sad. I can’t make sense of him not even acknowledging me when we were a glass door away from eachother. I messaged him afterwards saying ‘Sorry I didn’t say hello, I didn’t know if you wanted me to or not.’ He has seen it but didn’t reply. How do I make sense of this as I’m struggling how to interpret it??

Vanilla_Bean Hello
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Hello This is tough for me, but I'm at a place now in life where I'm not sure where to go. Thankful this place exists. I'm just here to talk, look for advice and hopefully offer my own at some point to someone who may need it. I'm 35, I have Spinal S... View more

Hello This is tough for me, but I'm at a place now in life where I'm not sure where to go. Thankful this place exists. I'm just here to talk, look for advice and hopefully offer my own at some point to someone who may need it. I'm 35, I have Spinal Stenosis and osteo arthritis which causes round the clock chronic pain. I also live with crippling anxiety and depression, I see a clinical psychologist and take medication, most days it's not enough. I used to hurt myself when I was younger, I have scars left over my arms because of this, I wish I could erase them. My husband ( the love of my life ) also suffers severe anxiety and depression. It's more terrifying for me when he's having an episode than when it's myself. Over the years we've both had some pretty big mental health breakdowns, a couple of which lasted the span of about 4-5 weeks. It's terrifying. After my first major one in 2018 my husband bought me a small stuffed elephant as a gift, I haven't slept a single night without it in my arms since he gave it to me. We are both unemployed, long term. This is the source of a lot of our anxieties, dealing with job agencies, being forced out to do things we can't handle. Some days I think my husband would be better off without me, that if I wasn't around he'd have a better handle on his mental health issues, he'd probably have a job and not have to deal with this stress. Some days I just wish I didn't exist. That's a grim note to leave things on, I'm sorry. Thank you for reading.

CaptainCab Ex-Wife Has Me Almost Running On Empty
  • replies: 6

My ex-wife and I are trying to negotiate what's fair for our kids with their time with each parent. We have consent orders in place but so much has changed in our circumstances that it's not really applicable now. To make matters worse she is refusin... View more

My ex-wife and I are trying to negotiate what's fair for our kids with their time with each parent. We have consent orders in place but so much has changed in our circumstances that it's not really applicable now. To make matters worse she is refusing to budge on her stance and I have made proposals and compromises as to what I believe is best for the kids. She refuses to go to mediation to sort it out and I don't have the time, money or energy to go through Court. At the moment I see the kids every Sunday for the day but they are desperate to have sleep overs at my place and I have to keep telling them "Mum and Dad are working on it". I feel like I am breaking inside, giving up to her unreasonable proposals.

Jimmuck what to do ??..
  • replies: 11

hi all, i am 63 years old and still working 6 or 7 days a week to pay the bills, we have a mortgage that i will be long passed away before it is paid off, we had the house built, so i have labored long and hard landscaping the front and back, as well... View more

hi all, i am 63 years old and still working 6 or 7 days a week to pay the bills, we have a mortgage that i will be long passed away before it is paid off, we had the house built, so i have labored long and hard landscaping the front and back, as well a lot of interior work, but no matter what i say or how i say it the house inside and out is awful. my wife wanted lawns and gardens but does nothing to them, the two spare bedrooms are full of her junk, the pergola i built is not usable because it is full of junk, if i say anything it leads to an argument. she always tries to impress people and wants to seem indispensable to them, regardless of how it affects me. so far it has cost us a lot of money in lawyer fees when somebody tried to sue her and myself personally 15 thousand dollars for an insurance claim, because she didnt renew the policy. that is just some of the serious problems over the years. whilst i can fully accept i am in the wrong sometimes, it is impossible for her to even consider that she could be remotely wrong, when i say so cries to anyone who will listen,she just lies to everyone to gain their sympathy , what is really sad for our relationship is she cannot even tell her own self the truth,on one occasion, after i was driven to seek help from a counselor, she was asked to come along to a session to support me, all she did was sit there crying about how bad her life was.i have asked her many times to stop keeping all our money in an account in her name only, but she still does. so the latest event sparked by my asking her something three times and being completely ignored each time, which led to me getting angry and her, as usual, running away to hide. that was over two weeks ago, since then we have not said a single word to each other, NOT ONE WORD. i have stood by her through a lot of serious things,right now i feel like i am just taken for granted, right at this moment she is on a boat helping to organize a firework display when she should be here at home least trying to talk about our problems, i dont want to leave my house that i have put so much hard work into, i cant leave anyway as i dont have the money to do so.. i feel so trapped, i cant leave and cant stay here living like this, i am at my wits end, but she just will not accept any responsibility whatsoever in what goes wrong in our marriage, it is completely one sided,i have absolutely no one to talk to here as i have no family and i have allowed my friends to drift away..

Jacobi1911 Forming connections with others
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Good evening, Recently i have been longing to form a close relationship with someone But have been unable to feel a connection. While others say i havent given Enough time i think its something else. I feel as if i dont have a close connection with a... View more

Good evening, Recently i have been longing to form a close relationship with someone But have been unable to feel a connection. While others say i havent given Enough time i think its something else. I feel as if i dont have a close connection with anyone or anything even though I crave it. I feel this is a subconscious thing my mind has decided to do As a defence mechanism from being scamed out of half of what y oiu own which Has happened to some of the people around me. I need to break this i desparately want to feel a connection to someone based of somthing other than physical attraction. The point of this post is to ask for help, im not sure where to go to, or who to contact about this issue.

Anonymous999 Feeling alone and helpless
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I’m not very good at explaining this well, so here we go: 2 years ago my struggles with an eating disorder began and it ruined all of my friendships and stopped me from participating in my sport which is my favourite thing in the entire world. It has... View more

I’m not very good at explaining this well, so here we go: 2 years ago my struggles with an eating disorder began and it ruined all of my friendships and stopped me from participating in my sport which is my favourite thing in the entire world. It has taken 2 years to finally gain a healthy relationship with food but I still can’t compete in my sport which is so hard to watch everyone else excel whilst I’ve been stuck on the sidelines for years. I graduated high school 2 years ago and have not spoken to my old ‘friends’ ever since because a lot went on and I wasn’t treated well by anyone. So much has gone on in the last couple of years and I have just been stuck in such a dark place and am really struggling to move on from all the things that occurred because I still can’t see the light at the end of the tunnel. I had no one to help me through that time and still have no one. Every time I open up to someone (which is so so so hard to do) I get left on read and never spoken to again. I feel so alone and helpless and really don’t know what to do. I just want someone to love me and make me feel like I belong in this world, but no one understands me even takes the time to understand me.

Jojosdrowning Watching the man I love fade away.
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Hi, I have been with my partner for 4yrs. The most caring supportive man I've ever meet and a love I never knew possible. Very amicable with our exs. We have a lot to do with them as we share 5 kids between us. This changed with his ex unexpectedly 3... View more

Hi, I have been with my partner for 4yrs. The most caring supportive man I've ever meet and a love I never knew possible. Very amicable with our exs. We have a lot to do with them as we share 5 kids between us. This changed with his ex unexpectedly 3 months My partner still owed $ from their settlement which they had agreed payment over 10yrs. Its been 6 yrs and she started to demand the last lump sum. She said she made some misteaks with her money. We had to go to bank to borrow but said we'd get to her Asap. We borrowed $ of parents to give give a lump sum to get her through while waiting on bank. Then emails started. Demands and threats of getting dhs, police, cps and lawyers involvin. Then her taking a domestic violents AVO. She made change with child support to have 100% custody stating kids didn't want to see him. They just finished a 3month stay with us while she was in hospital. Everything went Great. Long story short she did put out an AVO. We were not contacted by any departments, and were so supprised by this all. We were working on the money, she knew that and we have no idea how and why its all lead to this. His now the most broken man I know. He can't see his children which is destroying him and the AVO is nothing but a false claim. We've had to fork out $ for legal advise who said its not worth fighting the AVO as long as he abides by it without admissions. It won't affect him legally. The kids call, missing him and wanting to c him. But no she has an AVO. His just beside himself. I worry so much for him. His such a strong, gentle, caring man and she's destroyed him and his relationship with his kids.He worries they have no idea whats going on. Due to AVO though he can't do or say anything! Im sorry for the long post, I needed to get this out. After investigating and speaking to people this kind of thing happens alot. It kills me to see people put others through this kind of thing and for what!? It happens to both women and men. And is a massive issue that plays on peoples mental health. What can I do? I feel so helpless. I'm watching the man I love slowly dying inside for lies, manipulation and money. Thats what it seems like. His ex has affected so many others within the family because it's not just about her and her issues with him all of a sudden. It affects so many more. We trying to see physiologist but so far there's months waiting lists and legal fees continue to climb. Open to any advice or suggestions! Thanks for reading.

Debbie2021 Advice needed
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Hi all I am over 50 and divorced 5 years ago. Not interested in dating until recently.. super happy and love my life. ... very very positive person snd happy in my own space. I have been dating a man for 3 months. Very deep person (unlike me) and hav... View more

Hi all I am over 50 and divorced 5 years ago. Not interested in dating until recently.. super happy and love my life. ... very very positive person snd happy in my own space. I have been dating a man for 3 months. Very deep person (unlike me) and have such a connection and fallen in love feeling lucky but cautious. tonight I find out by accident (long story) that he is on medication for anxiety and depression. He hadn’t shared that. Such a deep connection that I want to pursue... but looking for our advice Please share your experiences.