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BeyondBlue Hey there - read this to see what this section is all about
  • replies: 0

Hello and welcome This is the Relationships and Family section where members can talk about what is happening in their lives and the people they live with. We know that who we live with can make a big impact on our wellbeing, both in a good way or a ... View more

Hello and welcome This is the Relationships and Family section where members can talk about what is happening in their lives and the people they live with. We know that who we live with can make a big impact on our wellbeing, both in a good way or a negative way. As always, we want to hear your story and how it impacts you and encourage everyone to support each other with kindness. There are a few things to consider when posting in this section so we can all get the most out of it: Everyone’s situation is unique. We all do our best to share what is important in our story but we can never share it all. Let’s be mindful we can’t know all of everyone’s story. Anonymous but public. These posts are available to everyone and while the moderation team keeps the Forums anonymous, posts are still online for everyone to read. Have a think about what you want to share to get the best support for you. Please stay safe. This space is an amazing way to seek support from others who might understand what you are going through. We want to hear how you are going and what is happening for you. Please also consider 1800RESPECT if you don’t feel safe or 000 if you are in danger right now. You deserve to be safe. Thank you again for joining this conversation, your contributions are worthy and important to us here. Beyond Blue

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TheVoid Caring advice for Girlfriend who has severe depression
  • replies: 3

my girl friend has experiencing depression with self harm before. However, she stopped doing that when we start dating. Recently, she told me she is feeling the urges to do it again and its scarring her so i reassure her and told her it's fine it mea... View more

my girl friend has experiencing depression with self harm before. However, she stopped doing that when we start dating. Recently, she told me she is feeling the urges to do it again and its scarring her so i reassure her and told her it's fine it means your at the end of healing process. Then, she starts distancing with me and i asked her why she just told me she is so busy so she can't be free like before, and we can't even meet each other that often. Therefore, i keep asking her to give me more attention and time to spend with her which she did but i always question it cuz i was experiencing tremendous of stress as well. Until recently, she told me everything just so much for her and yet i did it again putting more stress on her and she decided to breakup with me because she thinks she is not good enough and she tried her best to give me what i want. She said she is not in the right mindset for relationship right now and i was right she can't give me enough attention and my needs, she think our rela can't be fixed cuz i can't fix her and she can't be healed. She told me she needs to end our relationship before it breaks her. She said she is struggling more than she would like to, and i deserve better. So i agreed with her about the break up for i can't stand the thinking of her getting hurt. After i agreed with her she started saying how she love me so much and i will always be the best person she ever had and she will never be able to find someone like me and she hopes me all the best and i deserve better. She said sorry that she has to do that to me cuz she doesn't want to hurt me and that is the last thing she would do. i understand that she may experience another episode or crysis, so i don't know if she pushes me away cuz she fear that she may pull me down or she is done with me. Today, i messaged her saying i know that shes fighting her fight and i wish i would take off her pain or softer things for her but i can't so i will be here as long as it needed. she replied thank you for saying this same goes to you but she doesn't want me to wait for her cuz she thinks she won't coming back. Should i keep checking up on her making sure she is alr? i'm not sure what to do and whether she pushes me away cuz shes fighting her fight and it's not fair for me if she still maintains our relationship or shes done with me? What should i do in this case

Doogaldog He will be the end of me
  • replies: 2

I am in my late fifties and live with my 19 year old son. He has always been 'difficult' in that he caves in at the slightest moment of stress etc. I do not understand as I have always worked and been self sufficient. He is now at the point where he ... View more

I am in my late fifties and live with my 19 year old son. He has always been 'difficult' in that he caves in at the slightest moment of stress etc. I do not understand as I have always worked and been self sufficient. He is now at the point where he has a tantrum if he has to go to work. Threatens to kill himself. Says he hates himself etc etc. Strangely when he gets out of work he is ok again. Wanting takeout/money etc etc. He is also supposedly attending Uni. It is all online and he has made zero effort to register for his classes this semester. He is just so lazy, unmotivated and selfish. I told him he had to do the Uni stuff and he prevaricated for over two weeks! Then he wanted me to help him sort it out! He is so pathetic. I am embarrassed by his antics. Unfortunately I still love him. Not much but I do. He is driving me to an early death. Yesterday he went ballistic and threatened to kill himself. He grabbed a knife and was yelling and screaming at me. He threw my phone on the floor and broke it. I managed to calm him down. Again; once he knew he didn't have to go to work he was perfectly alright. He was laughing on the computer with his 'mates' and then invited a friend of his over. Meanwhile I was absolutely shattered and feeling like death. Today he has made no mention of any of it and indeed asked if he could buy a tablet to replace the phone he smashed??? I truly feel I am going insane...his behaviour is so abhorrent...he has taken over my house. I am ABSOLUTELY TRAPPED as he could not afford to live anywhere else (I have BEGGED his father to help). I do not need this! I am paying a huge mortgage, maintenance costs etc...I could live in a retirement village! And have peace and some spare cash! As it is I am on the poverty line. I am ready to go because I simply cannot see any way out of this. It is a nightmare that I never wake up from. Please don't recommend speaking to people as I have been doing that all of my life and nothing has helped I just wanted to get this out there. For what it is worth I spent years on IVF to have him. How I wish I could turn back time.

displayname3 I want to break up with my girlfriend of 2.5years but I don’t have the guts.
  • replies: 2

I love my girlfriend so much but I just can’t see me being with her for the rest of my life as we have so many issues and and I don’t think she’s the one for me. The only problem is I met her at a point in my life when I had 0 friends, wasn’t getting... View more

I love my girlfriend so much but I just can’t see me being with her for the rest of my life as we have so many issues and and I don’t think she’s the one for me. The only problem is I met her at a point in my life when I had 0 friends, wasn’t getting along with my parents and she became my only friend and her family was the family I needed. Since then we have moved in together at my house living separately upstairs above my parents and we go to see her family every weekend. We adopted a cat together just before we moved in together as well. I’m at such a low point in my life that Ive quit all my jobs because the stress was just too much and I’m living off my savings and have no Centrelink or anything. I’m not studying and I have no friends except my girlfriend. I don’t get on well with my parents most of the time except maybe my mum. I’ve stopped playing sports and going to the gym and basically everything else I enjoy. If I was to break up with my girlfriend I would have absolutely nobody. I would lose her, her family, maybe our cat since we wouldn’t wanna try and share a cat. Even if I did keep our cat I would still feel guilty that our cat has lost his mum and he wouldn’t know what happened to her. If we broke up we’d also have to go through the entire ordeal of moving all my girlfriends stuff back to her house and then explaining to her family that I wanted the break up. I know I need to end of the relationship but I’m so terrified of everything that will follow that instead I’ve just been desperately trying to repair how broken our relationship is instead. I feel so trapped and I don’t know what to do.

alice_s Boyfriend’s mum disrespects me
  • replies: 4

I’ve been dating my bf for 7 months. The second time I met his mum, he and his mum talked about our plan to go to see my family in my hometown. Then his mum showed me a bad attitude on her behaviour and words, said it's dangerous there. Asked me to g... View more

I’ve been dating my bf for 7 months. The second time I met his mum, he and his mum talked about our plan to go to see my family in my hometown. Then his mum showed me a bad attitude on her behaviour and words, said it's dangerous there. Asked me to give her everyone in my family addresses and phone numbers. Talked about the news that a man got scammed by a girl from my country and got killed. If I can’t give her info she needs, no one can go anywhere. My bf was mad at her and they argued a bit then he brought me out then we talked about it. I told him that I feel bad that she disrespected my family. However, in the end I just said that it’s fine, I will forget about it as I don’t want to make him feel bad or overthink. After that, I still keep seeing his family as much as I could, but this whole month I’ve been feeling unwell both physically and mentally so I couldn’t get to see his family at all, only asked bf to thank them for inviting and apologise for me for not being able to go. Yesterday he argued with his mum about me not being able to go for dinner with them. His mum said I’m trying to avoid them and asked why he always find a girl like this? Cuz his ex was always avoiding his fam and had conflicts with his mum as far as I know. He told her it's not the same but she wasn’t listening but getting angry, told him if I don’t want to be a part of family then don’t have to invite me anymore.I plan to see them this weekend but after hearing that I don’t feel comfortable seeing her ever again. I told my bf that I won’t go to see his family again since his mum showed me no respect or empathy as a human being especially she knows that I am sick.My mental health is in severe depression. I don’t want to involve myself in any sort of toxic situation. I told my bf that this time she must acknowledge that I am not someone she could cross the line, and she does need to apologise. He promised to talk to her about this.I don’t know if my decision to not see his fam after this is best for our relationship? Or what else can I do? He’s a nice person and I don’t want any other people to ruin our relationship.

Peter8901 What should I do about this?
  • replies: 5

My name is Peter and I'm 22. I have stopped talking to my sister who is 32, we had a fight over text when I called her out on her never making a effort to speak to me or hang out since she moved out of home over a year ago, she ended up blocking me o... View more

My name is Peter and I'm 22. I have stopped talking to my sister who is 32, we had a fight over text when I called her out on her never making a effort to speak to me or hang out since she moved out of home over a year ago, she ended up blocking me on facebook which I found hurtful. I apologised on snapchat and asked her to add me back but she ghosted me. My sister has always been a narcissist and when gets angry at you she tends to be very mean and gets angered quickly, I feel like if I try talk to her she will just remove me again or say something nasty. I feel like the only option I have with her is just unloading how she made me feel even though we were close all our lives it was mostly me looking over and making excuses for her bad behaviour out of my own naivety and love for her. But I feel like if she's gonna block me I may as well get my moneys worth and let my last interaction with her be remembered as the truth of what I think of her now. Should I tell her the truth or try be nice in hopes some rare chance she acts normal and admits some fault? I also stopped talking to my brother. He's 34. We haven't spoken since a family drama involving my parents happened last year. He has a 1 year old daughter and he hasn't once tried to make amends and get me to meet my niece. He still talk to my dad but not me or my mum anymore even tho I had nothing to do with the drama that happened he somehow blamed me for it based on unrelated events that happened 2017 and 2019 where I was getting harrassed by people and when I was having conflicts with the school deputy principal and principal. In conclusion I feel sad and abandoned because I was close with both these people for most of my life. So what would you do in this situation?

-max- I want affection and attention
  • replies: 3

My girlfriend loves me and gives me affection but not a lot and k isn’t know if I’m being selling or she just doesn’t give me enough. I want more I wanna be cuddled and told how much she loves me often and I just don’t get it enough.

My girlfriend loves me and gives me affection but not a lot and k isn’t know if I’m being selling or she just doesn’t give me enough. I want more I wanna be cuddled and told how much she loves me often and I just don’t get it enough.

Guest_7339 Post partum anxiety 13 months after birth
  • replies: 1

My anxiety has spiked and I am easily overwhelmed. My beautiful daughter is fine, everything else in my life is also fine however I have a lot of moments where my anxiety spikes or I am feeling overwhelmed by changes or changes that will happen in th... View more

My anxiety has spiked and I am easily overwhelmed. My beautiful daughter is fine, everything else in my life is also fine however I have a lot of moments where my anxiety spikes or I am feeling overwhelmed by changes or changes that will happen in the future. Any disruption within the family will cause my anxiety to spike quite abit. My heart feels like it'll beat out of my chest. I had a feeling I had PPA during my first year however never really felt it physically and it's just causing me to react to anything. I feel horrible, deep down inside I know nothing is wrong but I cannot shake the feeling off.

CC24 I'm just confused
  • replies: 1

Does anyone else also struggle with depending a lot on others and having a lot of conflicting back and forth thoughts? Especially when it comes to relationship with themselves and others. Recently, I have started feeling and thinking that other peopl... View more

Does anyone else also struggle with depending a lot on others and having a lot of conflicting back and forth thoughts? Especially when it comes to relationship with themselves and others. Recently, I have started feeling and thinking that other people don't care about me. Especially when it comes to my friends. Or that no one is really putting me first. Because I feel as though most of the time, I am the one that always initiates catch ups and things to do and try my best to give others a good time when we do meet up. I am quite shy though. Despite this, many people don't reach out to me first. I can't ignore the feeling of just being cast aside by others. Or feel so disappointed and let down by others. This makes me feel sad for a few moments but then I start telling myself that its healthy if I don't rely on other people to make me happy. Here is were the back and forth really starts. - I want to be loved and really be shown by others that they love me. - I feel ashamed and hate that I am relying on others when I should make myself happy and not care about others.- We are humans and feeling like this is okay because we thrive on social connections. - But I hate that other people have such control over my emotions and I don't want to feel sad and lonely because of them. Etc. Etc. I have conflicting thoughts writing this post right now - This is nothing compared to some of the serious mental health issues others might be going through. - Even small things like this can affect people a lot so I shouldn't be ashamed about this. - But am I making a big deal out of this? Etc. Etc. I am just confused about my own feelings and thoughts. Which side should I listen to. Distraction helps to snap out of these 'moments'. But it has only worked for so long before it catches up to me again. And over time, it catches up sooner. How to approach and address this? Because I am getting sick of it. I had a lot of breakdowns where I feel down about my personality, feeling like I am not good enough for others or even worse compare myself and feel that I am not as great as others. And I really want to snap out it so I can just enjoy my life. Apart from talking to others, are there any other techniques? Because I don't feel comfortable opening up about these issues to other people even if I am close to them.

icecreamspider Struggling with a good friend
  • replies: 1

I seem to have an issue with friends where when i get close enough to them i start to find myself unable to stand them. I start to get uncomfortable around them and regret doing anything with them. I don’t know how to fix this. I don’t want to hate t... View more

I seem to have an issue with friends where when i get close enough to them i start to find myself unable to stand them. I start to get uncomfortable around them and regret doing anything with them. I don’t know how to fix this. I don’t want to hate these friends because they’re great but right now i just can’t stand being around them. Every time this happens i either leave whatever chat i’m in to distance myself and stop messaging them for a little while, or the friendship will end altogether. This time around i left the chat but after a week the friend seemed upset and told their mum who told mine who talked to me, so i rejoined the group, and am now unable to leave again for fear of upsetting them. I don’t want to hate this person, i get along with them great usually, but now i’m really uncomfortable around them and i’ve even had multiple nightmares centered around them. I don’t know what to do. Can anyone help me?

Twitchywitchy Stuck and lost
  • replies: 1

I have been dating someone for 7 years and have lived together twice. He recently moved out but we were still together. I recently found out he has been on some hookup websites and doing meth behind my back. He has also done this in previous years. H... View more

I have been dating someone for 7 years and have lived together twice. He recently moved out but we were still together. I recently found out he has been on some hookup websites and doing meth behind my back. He has also done this in previous years. He has done alot in 7 years to upset me and lose trust. I was going to break up with him but I'm stuck feeling like I want him to care and want me. He says it was all a mistake and would never act on it.I'm confused, crying alot. I can't eat, I'm doing the bare minimum to take care of my teen daughter. I'm also stressed about my work losing its funding and my job ending. Plus my daughter has major surgery coming up.I don't know what to do. I don't know who to talk to and I don't know how to function anymore. All I do is sit and cry and not eat. I've had to take time off work.

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