Anyone else get overly attached to someone they haven’t known for long when depressed

[Cabbage_Patch_Kid]

I’ve been suffering depression pretty badly for the last 8 months but I’ve notices another side effect is that I get irrationally attachéd to guys I’ve only met or been with a few times. It doesn’t seem to matter whether I think I have a future or whether he’s a decent guy. I recently called time on one such casual relationship as I was getting hurt as he was with others and had no feelings for me. I knew it would not have a future and it was sex based. However I feel devastated and I can’t explain it. My friends and family don’t understand. It’s like we were together for years. This is not the first time this has happened either. I end up scaring guys away. Has anyone experienced this or have any advice. I’ve tried to explain my headspace but he’s not interested. He’s blocked me. In the past it’s taken so much time to get over guys.

[Terry73]

I wanted to add, but ran out of space, that with the list, you have to be specific, as we all want someone caring, loyal, funny etc. Specific I mean by things like what morals would you want them to be with, should they be more family minded or more independent? what kind of humor do you want them to generally have (dry wit, cheeky, dad jokes, etc), if you want them a blokey person or more a compassionate type of person, more outgoing or more into spending quiet quality time? someone that wears their heart on a sleeve, or someone more strong to hold things together?

Of course they could be both sides here, but which is more what you want as we are either more one side than the other.

I do hope this works for you

Terry

[Cabbage_Patch_Kid]

Terry thanks for the advice. I have done the list thing previously but I think on reflection it wasn’t detailed or specific enough. It also didn’t focus enough of what I really want and what my needs are as me (being emotional big hearted etc). Thanks for the tip to make it so. I will work on this foe the next 6-12 months while I build my life back and recover from depression. At this point in time I don’t want a guy in my life at all. I want to just focus on me and only me.

Thanks again

[Terry73]

Hi

I understand you dont want anyone in your life right now, and that is fine, what I suggest isnt only for the sake of getting back into the dating scene, but more a way to discover and acknowledge what you want in life, what makes you happy and most of all, what makes you being yourself. I have learned that being yourself is always the best way to get happy and maintain happiness, it also let you prepare for an unexpected turn of events, for example, if a good man does walk into your life, you are more in a frame of mind to assess him rightly rather than let things go past because you are recovering from a past.

I am sorry if I didnt make that clear before, this task is just more a way to get back in touch with what you want, what will get you back on track to where you were before the problems arose, and even before dating when young.

I do hope it helps, it has helped me, and I do feel better about it, as it helps me cope with life better, makes me focus on things that we all really need to focus on, ourselves and where we want to go. That is not meant in a selfish way either, it is merely a way to be prepared and to help avoid issues from repeating in the future.

Terry

[Cabbage_Patch_Kid]

HI Terry

sorry I should have made it clearer that I was working on a list of things I want in my life and for me. I know this is the only way to make me happy. From that then it can build if a guy appears in my life.

Thanks again

[Terry73]

That sounds Great that you doing that, keep trying to get those things done on that list that you want, work towards it, and while you are doing that, hopefully that will help you get into a happier way of life, at least its better than being depressed and stuck thinking of it right? I hope things go well for you always, and that you are able to follow all your goals and dreams