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Am I over reacting

Community Member

I've been a relationship for 91/2 years we've had our share of ups n downs like any relationship we have a 6 year old together. But over the last 3 1/2 years it's been more downs than ups. I got a phone call from a guy stating i should check my partners phone as he was texting a girl he worked with so I did found messages staring he had been checking her out and he wanted to take things further that he fancied her. When I confronted him he said it was just two friends joking around 12 months later same thing but different girl again told same thing just me over reacting.

Two years ago I lost my dad very suddenly very unexpected he was my word the only person that really got me always knew when something wasn't right with me and always knew what to say and do to make me feel better I've really struggled without him here depression has set in big time.

But 4 months i found out my partner had been secretly massaging and meeting up with a 27 year old 18 years younger than him again I confronted him only to be told they were only friends and nothing happened that she had bad depression that he was trying to her. Not once has he been there for me with mine the only support I've got from him is my dad is gone and that he is never coming back i just feel like I'm nothing to him And all he is doing is disrespecting me as a partner, mother because this is something I would never do to him. I asked him to cut all contract with this girl he said would told me he was off Facebook and Instagram but Friday I found out he has still got Instagram and he blocked me from seeing he's account and is now following the 27 year old.

I don't know what to think I'm so broken

1 Reply 1

white knight
Community Champion
Community Champion

Hi, welcome

Well it seems you are lost here whether to trust or not.

In long term relationships the partners tend to read their spouse well and can test their weaknesses. In your case it seems he knows he can put doubt in your mind.

It is a pity you seem to lack the wit to counter these issues, by the I mean- when he says this girl has depression and he is “helping her” you could say “oh great, I have a lot in common with your friend, invite her over for dinner one night... I’ll look at my schedule.” Then leave the room for a couple of minutes. When you return just say “any night next week is fine,

You can ask why she doesn’t get professional help and also why does he think he has the expertise for treating her when he can’t treat you?

You can hire a PI to follow him and hopefully get proof of more that just a friend.

I hope you find the answers