Hi everyone I feel like other people on the forum have far greater problems, so I wasn't going to post anything, but I just feel so lonely and lost, thank you for listening.
I am in my mid 20s, I grew up here, my family were from Taiwan. I am currently studying and living with my grandparents (dad's side) &brother. Although my grandparents love &care for me very much &I feel very grateful to have them, it is often difficult because of the cultural &generational differences. They have a very low threshold for feeling like I have an 'attitude' and I have to be so mindful of the exact tone I speak in and how I say things. They can speak some English (good enough to go grocery shopping) but can't do any 'life admin' tasks and so my brother and I check their letters, text messages &do other household admin tasks for them. I will be moving out after I finish studying next year, I worry that they won't get the help they need and that they will feel left behind.
My parents are not around to support us. I know they are both kind people, I understand that they are individuals too and not just 'my dad' and 'my mum' and I want them to be happy. But it feels like they're able to live their lives while my brother and I are 'stuck' here with our grandparents.
My dad used to live with us but he moved out a few years ago with his new partner, they now live on the other side of Sydney &own a small business together. My dad is a kind man &I know he tries but in reality he offers very little/ no support. I've asked for him to come &visit more often, and he tries, but it still doesn't happen.
My mum lives in Thailand. Our relationship has always been strained. I've been trying (for a few years) to be closer to her but whenever I try to call her for a chat it seems like she's always busy and in a hurry to leave the conversation, our calls mostly last for a few minutes. I resent her sometimes because feel like she favouritises my brother since we were young, short-tempered and she's left us here as well. I know she is a kind woman deep down but I still feel so angry at her sometimes.
In summary, I feel so conflicted and so lonely. I know my parents are kind &well-intended but they are just not here for us, even though I feel like I've communicated that we needed them. Their parents cared even less for them, so in a way they are loving/caring for us to the best of their knowledge... I hate to feel this way but I sometimes still resent them for not 'meeting my expectations'.
