I'm 66yo, the advantage of being older is - it's easier to accept minor flaws in a partner. You learn a few things over time- to realise that your own flaws are just as irritating to others, that you cant change others from their character, personality and any other trait that's in their DNA.
There is an infinite number of flaws humans have, when dealing with humans we are so individualistic that each situation is different, there is no hard and fast rule for couples. So I'll just give you a few examples of this to give you some idea of the dilemma we can find ourselves in-
My wife of 10 years has a few flaws, as I do. I cook the meals and once cooked I'll call her and...waiting...waiting, no matter what, she has to finish whatever she is doing which usually are things she can delay like using a computer screen saver or stop weeding and resume later. So I resorted to calling her 10 minutes early and still I waited. So I began to eat my meal anyway and that was a lonely affair lol. See I am laughing as I tell you these things, 20 years ago I'd be off to the family counsellor! She also gets distracted. Once we were going out, dressed up we approached our car. Then in a flash she was gone. I went back inside, searched around and found her on the other side of the car pulling out a few weeds. Not only did she do something unexpected, she didnt tell me she was going to vanish.
To balance the account, she has told me that (along with my bipolar moods) that I'm the most difficult person to "read". With the moods swings she never knows what mood I'm in, I'm not always aware I'm depressed for the first few hours or manic for a day or so. In fact my only indication of any mania is that I walk faster and only realise that because I tend to puff a lot more.
I think the best transformation in this area of acceptance of your partners flaws is seeing the funny side. Now whenever she gets distracted I say "oh, we are weeding again are we". We both laugh about it. In fact this routine of laughter has become so amusing I've grown to be endearing towards that part of her nature. The longer we are together the more I expect the unexpected.
For the last 3 months she has been occupied in our study doing "stuff". Today she presented me with 15 copies of my book of poems. I sat there in amazement flicking through 300 poems I'd written over 35 years complete with pictures.
Laughing at another flaws can be a positive. Do you find it hard to accept another's flaws?
TonyWK
