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40 years old, Single mother, Living with parents, Bqd Past ,NO HOPE

Community Member

I am 40 years old, a single mother to a 1 year old boy, live with my Italian parents, and to top it all off. 

I have no drivers licence. 

I will admit that I had some trouble with substance abuse, as I am an addict. 

My issue that I cannot get over is I feel like I am 15 years old.

I am controlled like one.

I would like to do so much about it but because of my past actions, I now suffer the repercussions.

I love my parents dearly and appreciate everything that is done foe my son and I, but I feel like I am mentally going to have a breakdown, I just having crying episodes instead and I hate feeling this way.

My father is 74 year old traditional Italian overprotective and abusive psychologically only when he drinks. My y mum just lashes out.

I litrelly don't go anywhere, only if my son has an appointment,  my dad takes us, so I'm just home everyday. 

I have severe depression,  anxiety and Borderline personality disorder/substance misuse to self medicate and heal the pain of craving what I always wanted was emotional support  and be accepted of who I am, but NO!  Till this day I am put down, controlled, spoken to like rubbish.

I need some guidance on what to do from here. I need to move out. My son and I. My mental health is be affected severely 

4 Replies 4

Dear MiracleBoy21,

We are grateful you found the courage to post about your struggles with your parents in our forums. We are a very helpful, supportive and nonjudgemental community.

We understand that even though you love your parents, and are grateful that they have been helping you and your son survive, you are feeling trapped at your parents' house and feel ready to take responsibility for your family. Unfortunately, because you don't have a driver's license, you believe you haven't any chance to get away.

Fortunately, here in Australia, if you live in or near one of the large cities, there is an excellent chance that you are within the coverage of excellent public transportation. If you are in one of the smaller cities, the public transportation may well be less common. We would encourage you to look into this possibility as it may well help remove some of the trapped feelings.

We would like to encourage you to call the helpful people on 1800 respect (1800 737 732) as they may have helpful resources.

You may also ring our Support Service on 1300 22 4636, or Lifeline on 13 11 14. Both services are available 24 hours per day, every day of the year.

Finally, we would encourage you to talk with your GP about possibly getting on a mental health plan to help you and your son become an independent family.

Please feel free to post whenever you wish. We are always here for you.

Warm regards,

Sophie M.

Community Member

Hi Miracleboy21,


Welcome to the forums and thank you for sharing your story. It is great that you have found the strength to reach out here and are actively trying to seek help.


As Sophie mentioned, there are some great chat lines available 24/7 should you ever need them or are in crisis. Regarding your home situation, as you pointed out, it sounds like you have been struggling to cope emotionally are currently experiencing substance use issues. In addition to finding some independence for you and your son it may also be worthwhile to look into finding help for your AOD issues. It is difficult and a very long road, but learning to cope with adversity via cognitive and behavioural methods is a great payoff in the end and can leave you feeling empowered and independent also.


This work is best done in conjunction with either a specific AOD service or mental health clinician. Unfortunately I don't have much expertise in the area but the best point of call is generally your GP who can refer you either to a psychologist or social worker. In the meantime, there are some great resources available online on the topic on beyond blue here and also the alcohol and drug foundation website here. A social worker can also help you look at options regarding independent living for you and your son. Hope this helps.


Please keep us updated.



Champion Alumni
Champion Alumni

Hi MiracleBoy21,


Im sorry you are feeling this way.


You do have HOPE there is always hope just believe in it and you will find it.


Im sorry you have substance abuse issues but there really is a way to learn how to manage this.


As Sophie M and Bob 22 have mentioned seeing a gp would be a great start.


Im sorry your parents treat you the way they do I understand this would be hard.


If you truly want to learn how to move forward you need to find the strength within yourself to stand up on your own two feet and take ownership of your current issues so you can work through them.


As Sophie has mentioned there is public transport available to you if you are in Australia.


You really can move forward it’s in your hands start to build your independence by doing things yourself for yourself and your son.


People can always try to put us down but it’s up to us how we react to this, its in our power to choose our reactions.

Valued Contributor
Valued Contributor

Dear MiracleBoy21, lovely username, welcome to the forums. 


Congratulations on having your little bubba boy! I bet he's cute. 😍


The previous BB members and Sophie have given you excellent things to think about. 


Do you live near Public Transport? 


You need to get "linked in" with support services to achieve your goal of living independently. 
You can do it. 


Since having your boy, have you registered in Centrelink for Family Payments? 
If not, then you can do this. 


If so, then you can walk into Centrelink for an appointment. You just need snacks, nappies and toys for your baby to play with because it could be a bit of a wait! 

You can tell Centrelink as much or as little as you're comfortable doing. 
I would say in polite terms, you need financial assistance to move out of from your parents as "the situation is untenable". 


You may be able to apply for Public Housing. Even if you can't get a place right now, you can be on the list awaiting a place. I would do this just in case. 


I have more info to help but this info and the suggestions from others, could be plenty for now. 


Take care