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26 year old mother of 2 beautiful girls 3 and 5. Stuck :(

Lilone1
Community Member

First post and just venting right now seems to be the help. I have severe generalised anxiety. Although i do not have social anxiety. I am 26 my partner 41. We have 2 girls and he owns his home. I was living with my alcoholic mother when we met. I currently have been working for his business plus taken care of the household and children. Have been since I was 21. A year ago I expressed my need for his help bag I can’t cope with running a business and a house and children coming from a very broken background with no knowledge. But my persistent to please everyone around me made me ignore th warning signs and now I am in this situation.

6 years later I am not allowed to see friend of r do anythjng alone as I am a bonding my family. I do nothing but clean and look after kids. J recently had Breast surgery and have anxiety going back to work for him. I have provided for our household for seven years and the other night he kicked me out. I have my own car and that is it. $29 to my account and no savings. No bills in my name and. I assistance from Centrelink die to being parterned and an unable to leave as I can afford to 😞 have been staying for my children but am always happier when he’s not here. I do love him and want this so work but always invisikn having my own house and life with my kids. Him being involved also just not us as a couple. Am scared as I have no family and don’t want to put my kids through housing and flats ect when their father has a perfectly beautiful family home for us all that he has provided by it always makes me think if I leave I can’t provide the best for them. I know I can and it will take work but is it worth taking the risk and having nothing to Mabey gain everything or be left with nothing. Sorry for being all over the place high anxiety and kids have just gone to bed and parter is not here. My only chance 😞

1 Reply 1

JessF
Valued Contributor
Valued Contributor
Hello Lilone1, forgive me for not understanding what's happening, but I'm not sure if you are still living in your partner's house? You say in your post that he has kicked you out? I think the most important thing for children is stability. You can be living in a palace, but if the parents are arguing and fighting and there's no love in the house, the children will pick up on that and it will have a profound effect for years to come. The finances are an issue, but you have been together for five years and have two children. He would have responsibility for the upkeep of the children in the event that you did decide to separate. You say you love him, and you want to make this work, however, only you are best placed to know if that is possible. There is an age difference between you, which will give you different priorities and views on what you want out of life. You sound like you feel very dependent at the moment, and unable to make a decision based on what you want as an individual. Perhaps think about what you want in your heart of hearts, if there were no constraints. What would that life look like?