Workplace issues, PTSD

[Guest_363]

Hi. I'm reaching out as have recently experienced some difficult issues in the workplace (exclusion, feeling ostracised for speaking up about issues, having my emails accessed and eventually being treated differently by co-workers). I feel the need to say I did not engage in misconduct. I raised problems with managers and it went downhill from there. I have now left the job as it all got too much for me to navigate through. I was constantly on edge. Now having left I feel like I have to try and pick up the pieces. I feel very low, worthless and ashamed like I've been kicked out which I've never experienced before. My worth is rock bottom. The few friends I had there are slowly dwindling, partly on my behalf because I feel like I'm radioactive or something and didn't feel I could keep getting rejected (e.g. if they ignored my message, etc). I feel like I've actually lost my mind and no longer can tell what has actually happened- whether it was me or them. It was probably a bit of both. I have one friend (who doesn't work there) who I have spoken about this too and she has been a great help but I don't want to burden her anymore with it. So, I'm now looking for other work and trying to deal with feeling like I don't want to leave the house. I am now super vigilant and constantly checking what I write in emails, or any messages- checking over everything word by word in case something is wrong or someone else reads it. I'm even scared of posting this thinking someone might see it and know what workplace I'm talking about. Would love to hear from anyone else who can relate. It's just such a horrible, isolating feeling.

[Sophie_M]

Hey blue_sweater,

Welcome to the forums, we are so glad you decided to join us here. We know it can be hard to write the first post, so thank you for having the courage. We're so sorry to hear what you've been through in your workplace, which we understand would be causing you high stress and anxiety. We're sure that a lot of our community members will relate to these feelings and hopefully some of them will be able to offer you words of advice.

Beyond Blue recognises that workplace bullying is a serious issue which affects mental health. You might be interested in the following resource created for employees who are being bullied: 

https://www.headsup.org.au/your-mental-health/bullying-information-for-employees

We would also encourage you to reach out to our Support Service, available 24/7 on 1300 22 4636 or on Webchat 3pm-12am AEST here: www.beyondblue.org.au/getsupport One of the friendly counsellors will be able to talk through these feelings and experiences with you and can offer support and advice to help you through this.

We hope that you keep checking back in and let us know how you are going when you feel up to it. We're all here for you.

[Croix]

Dear Guest_363~

I guess the first thing to say is nobody would have any idea who you are. There are no clues in your post, and Beyond Blue goes to great pains to keep peple anonymous -you are safe.

Being unpopular and the butt of jokes, ostracism and prying can be for all sorts of reasons of course, but to me it sounds like a typical reaction to unpleasant truths being spoken.

Sure it is easier to keep quiet and watch the system work badly or even fail, and it is equally easy not to suggest improvements as it might reflect badly on others.

Speaking out however is necessary, it takes guts, it really is the glue that holds things together, unfortunately it is not always welcomed and messengers of bad news are often treated unfairly. This sounds very much like you.

The reaction may well have triggered off a state that sounds like myself when I has a number of mental health conditions, including depression and anxiety when I was invalided out of my career.

May I ask if you have medical support for your conditon at the moment? Frankly I simply got worse the longer I put it off, now however I'm pretty good.

If you don't then may I suggest you book a long consultation with a GP and set out what has happened and how you feel, the worry over every word, their reception, leaving the house and all of it. I do beleive telehealht is currently available if that might be easier, and if you think talking would be a problem write everything down (your post above would do) and email it in before the appointment.

I've found a list does make it easier.

I'm glad you have a faithful freind, being all alone makes things so much harder. I would also think as your condition improves you will be an easier person to be a friend with and your older friends will return.

I know you do not want to give too much away but do you have a partner or family you could talk with too?

Things do improve out of sight with help, I'm an example of that .

I would like it if you came back and talked some more

Croix