Womb trauma

[Cmb80]

Hi, just wondering if there is anyone out there who has suffered womb trauma whilst you were in the womb?

When my mum was pregnant with me, she lost her mother (5mths pregnant) and then lost her husband, my dad (7mths pregnant).

I feel like i went through every emotion with her. That i felt all the stress and grief and loss that my mum suffered. My biggest fear now is losing my partner. And i feel like i am pushing her away because i dont deserve to be loved. The trauma i experienced in the womb and growing up without my dad had had disastrous effects on my life!

I suffer from anxiety and depression. I am constantly worried about losing my partner. I have this unexplainable sad feeling deep within me which affects me daily. I am trying so hard to improve but i feel stuck in the negative cycle that im on.

Does anyone else have a similar experience?

Please help!!!!

[Cmb80]

And please can anyone point me in the right direction to help me to get support. There isn't alot out there for womb trauma. I need to heal this part of me as it has had a massive negative ripple effect on my life. I need help please!

[Guest_9809]

Hi Cmb80 and welcome to the BB Forums. This is a peer support Forum where you will receive kind and understanding advice and support from others who are going through similar situations to yourself.

You are correct in that there isnt a lot known or spoken about womb trauma. I have been diagnosed with PTSD, but I think your situation is somewhat different to my own. Meaning I'm not sure I can help you very much.

I would suggest that you put your question to our resident professional, Dr Kim. There is a separate thread under the Treatments, Health professionals and Therapies Section. Google the link below and it should take you directly to the correct area:

https://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support/online-forums/treatments-health-professionals-and-therapies/got-a-question-related-to-mental-health-ask-dr-kim

In the meantime hopefully others will come on here and offer you more general advice about the anxiety and depression symptoms that you are experiencing.

Of course it is never easy growing up with only one parent, loving and devoted as that one parent may be. Never having known your Dad means you have been deprived of one of life's greatest joys. Did your Mum ever remarry? In other words did you have the benefit of a father figure as you were growing up?

You havent said whether you have already spoken to your GP about your anxiety and depression symptoms, nor whether you have officially been diagnosed with womb trauma. So I am a little limited in the advice I can offer you. Pending Dr Kim's advice, all I can advise would be for you to see your GP and ask for a referral to a suitable psychiatrist for assessment and treatment. Hopefully there is one nearby who has some specific experience with womb trauma. They may then suggest some form of additional therapy with a psychologist.

I hope you will post again and give us a bit more information to assist other members to respond to you.

Kindest,

Taurus

[Cmb80]

Hi Taurus4826,

Thankyou for your response. I am very appreciative.

No, my mum never remarried so i didnt have a father figure at all. My mum is super amazing!!! She brought us 4 kids up on her own and worked full time. We had to grow up fast and be very independent. When my dad died, mum had 3 kids all under the age of 5yrs old and was 7mths pregnant with me. It was a very difficult road.

I have seen the doctor and have neen diagnosed with anxiety and depression. I haven't actually really spoken to anyone about the womb trauma but i feel deep down that it is the root cause of my difficulties.

Abandonment is a massive issue for me. When i become anxious i tend to depend on my partner for support and this has taken its toll on her! She has resentment and anger towards me and cannot deal with my anxiety anymore. She said she is over the anxiety and just doesnt have the strength to deal with it anymore. This leaves me in a very difficult position. How can she just switch off when i need her most??

I also had a heart attack due to chronic stress in 2015 and that is when my anxiety and depression were triggered. After the heart attack i pretty much had a breakdown and so the last 2yrs have been so tough.

Every time i feel anxious or depressed i seem to revert back to my childhood immediately and to the loss of my father. It has had a devastating effect in my life. Im at breaking point and dont know where to turn to, especially niw that my partner cant deal with it anymore too.

[Guest_9809]

No problems Cmb80. I have seen your post to Dr Kims thread. Good on you for doing that. I believe Dr Kim will likely be next around tomorrow afternoon and will hopefully respond to your questions then.

Your Mum certainly sounds like an amazing woman. Are you still close to your Mum, both emotionally and physically (locality wise)? How about your siblings? Its interesting that you have this sense of abandonment, as the really important people you lost, was prior to your birth. Ie your grandmother and your father. They never abandoned you, and nor would they if they had a choice. But perhaps this is where the womb trauma comes in. And I simply dont know enough about it to comment. Just out of interest, how does your Mum cope these days?

I'm sorry your current relationship is being affected by your anxiety. Would it be worthwhile do you think, to attend some form of relatonship counselling? It may enable her to see things from your perspective, and be a little more understanding and patient in the process.

Are you keeping well as far as healthy eating and appropriate exercise since your (very early) heart attack?

It sounds as though you need to explore this womb trauma issue more closely to determine if dealing with it specifically can assist you. However, other therapies aimed at both anxiety and depression, should also have a beneficial effect for you. You said you have been officially diagnosed with both, but you didnt say whether you have ever had any treatment for either.

There is no doubting the loss of a father, and never having a father figure around when growing up, can have a devastating effect on your life. And given your older siblings were not much older than you, you would not have had the benefits that an older brother could have provided either. My heart goes out to you. (-:

But please know that things can definitely improve from here, given appropriate treatment, and plenty of time and patience. Both yours and your partners. I will be interested to hear what Dr Kim advises tomorrow. And afterwards please post back here so others can come on board to advise and support you too.

All the best.

Taurus

[summerdays]

Hi there,

I am sorry to hear about your story.

I have been doing lots of reading lately about inter-generational trauma and about the nervous system.

It's possible that your nervous system was affected when you were in utero. Check out Irene Lyon, she has some videos on youtube.

When I was pregnant with my first I was really calm and relaxed and tried to hard to be anxiety free as I knew I could affect the baby. She was such a chilled baby and as a 3 year old still is. When I was pregnant with my 2nd I was anxious. He came out screaming and didn't stop for 4 months. He is still a total handful at 18 months. It's a gut feeling that he has my nervous system.

I grew up without a dad too. Well, he died when I was 8 but I don't remember him. Is that weird?

Take care X

[Fifi_]

Hi @Cmb80 I know that this is a very old post (hopefully you got the healing you needed) but if you're still looking - I had a healer who works with subconscious etc who is based in Perth who did an immense amount of work me to help heal womb trauma (she does remote work too). I had no idea the huge impact that my in utero experience had on my life (depression, anxiety etc). You could even try regression therapy/a goodhypnotherapist where you are - that would really help too.