Was it actually abuse?

[QuinnH]

A couple at my church who are some of my close friends, have been very involved in helping me deal with my ex husbands affairs and abuse and move forward.
However over time the husband became very flirtatious with me. We engaged in a lot of flirtatious talk and texts that was generally playful, but started to make me uncomfortable. I liked the attention because it made me feel noticed and like someone might actually want me after the way my husband treated me and the affairs he’d had. But I also felt disgusted by that feeling, because I didn’t really want to be wanted by my friend because he was married.
Then it progressed to him physically touching me in a sexual way. I perpetuated a lot of this because at first I simply liked the attention and physically my body 'wanted it' even though I really didn't want it from him and I think its a disgusting and despicable thing to do to my friend & their marriage. I wanted affection from him in the form of hugs and safe male contact, but when he started touching me more inappropriately it felt really wrong and went against everything I believe, but my body still wanted him to keep going and that makes me a really horrible person. I did repeatedly ask him to stop and push his hands away, but he would keep going and I wasn’t very forceful because I didn’t want to disappoint him or stop him from wanting to be my friend, which is pathetic. I was scared of losing his attention or affection at all, so I didn’t make myself as forceful as I wanted to be or definitely as I should have been.

[Fenrik]

Hi QuinnH,

I did not read the second post you wrote.

This Church couple behaved extremely inappropriately in front of you. Sexual intimacy between a couple should remain between a couple. Especially in the context of them supposing to be offering you support.

What they did was not normal in that situation. You were still in shock I think, so you accepted this bizarre behavior as normal.

Definitely don't feel guilty, dirty or wrong. Both the woman and the man seem to have been manipulating you.

Again take care and all the best.