FAQ

Find answers to some of the more frequently asked questions on the Forums.

Forums guidelines

Our guidelines keep the Forums a safe place for people to share and learn information.

Trauma to apathy

Iamok
Community Member

I was recently involved in a traumatic situation where one of my best friends was left brutally injured. I helped rescue him from the situation that left him in this position and was involved in the transporting of him to the hospital.

Im glad to report that he made it through the experience and is making a miraculous recovery.

I have been feeling really up and down since the event; feelings of regret and guilt for not doing more than I did on the day even though I don't know what else that could have been. People constantly ask me if I am ok, and I respond that I am, but I know that I'm not. I just don't want the fuss. I feel stuck in what i am doing day to day, even though it's new and should be exciting. I think I'm hiding my anguish perfectly and that's probably the most unhealthy thing to do. I work hard to pay back the debt I'm in and know that 'that's life' but get a sinking realisation that 'that's life'.

I over think everything and this leads to procrastination and poor productivity at work which stresses me out that I'm not doing a good enough job.

I feel guilty and selfish that this post will take up the time of others that need more help than I do. 

I constantly talk about wanting to help others but do nothing to implement any idea I might have.

Lastly and most embarrassingly I cry sometimes feeling sorry for myself, and then feel stupid because there's people way worse off than I am.

A roller coaster of emotion in my head that projects an apathetic shell to everyone else.

 

6 Replies 6

white knight
Community Champion
Community Champion

Hi Iamok, welcome to beyond blue forums.

I cant stress enough for you to seek mnedical advice. Your GP can advise you to another professional. You could be suffering Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. But I'm no doctor.

By the way.....you are normal.

Tony WK

White_Rose
Champion Alumni
Champion Alumni

Dear Lamok

Hello and welcome. I'm not sure if you are still reading posts on this forum so I don't want to write a whole screed that does not reach you. I agree with White Knight that you may have PTSD after being involved in the situation you wrote about. It would be better if you saw a doctor and received the help that appears indicated.

But whether or not you have been to a doctor, if you would like to continue writing in here please do so. There is always someone to answer you.

I will stop here but please respond if you would like to continue the conversation.

Mary

Iamok
Community Member

I haven't seen anyone yet, but think I am ready to.

The event that I wrote about has lead me to giving up a great passion of mine, and this is what gets me down the most. It was a real release for me and every goal I had was to be able to do this passion more. 

Now I just feel kind of lost and where I did have a clear picture of where I wanted to be, I just can't see a way forward. 

Sometimes I just break down crying and want someone to see and ask, but at the same time I will never let anyone close to me see me like that. 

I never thought I'd be a person to feel this way, and write in a place like this. 

Dear Lamok

Thank you for your reply. And thank you for continuing the conversation. It can be the hardest thing to talk about our troubles and admit we are lost. So congratulations for taking the first step.

I can empathize with your sense of loss. I have been involved in something that gave me great joy and satisfaction, only to have it taken away via constant bullying. I still grieve for this after several years and I am looking for a replacement. Not sure if that is the sensible thing to do.

And yes, I also still cry often. So embarrassing if someone sees you do this, but like you, I want someone to help. We are such contrary creatures, wanting help but too proud or ashamed to ask and hoping someone will somehow 'know".

Living in limbo is not a great place to be. And while you may eventually find a way out, it would be quicker and more effective to seek professional help. Despite my loss I am managing quite well and finding purpose, which is what I need. I have been meeting with a psychologist for nearly two years. I hope that doesn't scare you off.

I started therapy for the loss I mention above, but it seems that many of my difficulties stem from my marriage of 30 years and the effects of my husband's treatment. I left 15 years so I have been a long time in getting help.I was convinced that I had managed the separation and my previous life was all settled. Apparently not. I do know that the longer you leave these things the harder it gets to rectify them.

So I do urge you to go to you GP or similar and start your journey. If you click on Resources/For me/Men this will take you to the men's section of the site. Although the focus is on depression I think you will find it helpful.

There are various conversations and information pages on PTSD. I have linked some of them below.

https://www.beyondblue.org.au/the-facts/anxiety/types-of-anxiety/ptsd
https://www.beyondblue.org.au/connect-with-others/online-forums/welcome-and-orientation/ptsd
https://www.beyondblue.org.au/resources/health-professionals/clinical-practice-guidelines/asd-ptsd-clinical-practice-guidelines
https://www.beyondblue.org.au/connect-with-others/online-forums/trauma-and-chronic-physical-illness/ptsd-in-overdrive

Many of the conversations are in the Trauma and Chronic Physical Illness forum, so it may be helpful to read some of these and join the conversation.

Mary

 

Iamok
Community Member

Thanks for replying. I'm sorry to hear that you were mistreated for such a long period of time. I've been filling the void by playing guitar now, and I find it helps a bit. Maybe something like that could help you?

I think I'll try and see a GP or someone this week. I don't want to feel this way any more.

Wow, that's a positive post. I would love to keep in touch and follow your journey.

Yes, my marriage was difficult and the worst aspect is that the abuse gradually sneaked up on me until I didn't know which way was up. Well of course hindsight is always 20/20 and I can see that now. I suspect that it takes distance to lend a perspective and for a full realisation to happen. I could not have even contemplated therapy 15 years ago.

I have always wanted to play the piano and have taken lessons. Depression takes away my ability to concentrate and I let it slide for many years. I have been thinking about getting back to it recently. I think I will also take up painting again. For me it's good to reopen the doors to those things I once enjoyed or would like to do.

Good luck with the GP.

Mary