Support for male victim of female narcissist abuser

[John_S007]

Hi All,

I was told today by my mental health professional i am teh victim of narcissistic abuse by a female abuser. I have looked for support groups out there, but there don't seem to be any anywhere. I am struggling greatly with the realisations of how much abuse ive sustained in large part without even realising or understanding this.

Anyone with any pointers or experience in dealing with or healing from this kind of abuse i'd be grateful for an advice.

[Croix]

Dear John S007~

I'm sorry to hear of your situation, abuse by any person of an other is a horrible thing and potentially very harmful, even if physical violence ins not used.

I can understand not realizing at the start how abusive a relationship has become, and then it can be very hard to take action, or even know what options are available - or practical.

I'm very glad you have professional help and would suggest either or both of the below.

https://www.1800respect.org.au/ or 1800 737 732
https://www.relationships.org.au/ or 1300 364 277

Both organizations handle all manner of abuse and also may be able to point out if there are any support groups in your area.

If you would like to talk more about this you are very welcome

Croix

[Flinders_Anxiety]

Hi John

its a hard one, narcissistic abuse (either male or female) because they make you question your own reality and have you thinking your the abuser, them the victim. Doubly hard being the male victim as society still has a tendency to make women out as the nurturers and are incapable of abuse. This is of course false, I have had experience of this abuse from my ex husband but also a very close male friend endured quiet a lot for years in silence and when he said enough she faked domestic violence and had him arrested, he was fortunate enough to be able to prove his innocence.

my advice; knowledge is power, podcasts & YouTube on understanding narcissists and narcissistic abuse have given me so much insight and the only way to heal is to forgive yourself for allowing the behaviour to continue.

hope this helps, take care of yourself

[paddyanne]

Hi John S007. Narcissists whether female or male are very dangerous people. Dangerous because once you are trapped in their world, you lose sight of yourself. Google waif/queen/king/hermit/witch. All these traits are similar and extremely difficult to maintain even a light friendship with. The hardest part of getting past the abuse is learning how to be you without 'hearing' the constant negatives. I gather you are no longer involved with the person, but the emotional scars are new and will take time to heal. I suggest you start by making a list of things that you want to do and each day attempt one thing. In my case I left a narc hubby who delighted in telling his family that he had to do everything because I didn't do 'it' right - whatever 'it' was. I moved into my flat and 3 months later, I moved an object that I hadn't had the courage to move when I first took the flat. I didn't like where it was, but I was too nervous about moving it in case HE commented. Since then I have done many things that proved the sky wouldn't fall and nothing would happen because I had made the decision. Any abuse subtle or direct is damaging and takes time to overcome. Small steps and plenty of self-praise.