Stress, anxiety and flashbacks with court coming up

[Larry_goodsey]

HI.

Long story short I was sexually assulted by my step dad from when I was 14-16. I also have depression, anxiety, PTSD and hella triggers from it. And I go to court on Monday and I am freaking out. Part of me wants to walk up and just do it and say "look you didn't ruin my life" and the rest of me is hiding and never coming out. I don't know what to do I know I have to go through with it and I am trying to put up a strong front but I am falling apart. I don't know what to do. I haven't eaten in 3 days I am fighting the urge break my streak and self harm and so utterly lost. I don't know what to do.

[Sophie_M]

 
Hey Larry_goodsey,
Thank you for reaching out and sharing your story with us on the Beyond Blue community tonight. We understand how difficult it can be to reach out for help. We can only imagine how overwhelming and distressing this upcoming court hearing must be for you. Please know that you are not weak or a coward if you choose not to go. You are strong for speaking up about what was occurring and are strong for seeking support when you need it.
Your post has us very worried, as it sounds like you are thinking about harming yourself again. We'd urge you talk your feelings through with our Support Service, our mental health counsellors can offer some support, information and referrals: www.beyondblue.org.au/getsupport or 1300 22 4636.
Please know that our community is here to listen and work through this difficult time with you. It would be helpful for the community to know if there has been anything previously that has helped you cope with these thoughts and feelings so we can best support you. We hope to hear from you soon.