Ptsd ?? I don’t understand my situation

[Booots]

Hi guys , firstly I want to acknowledge that I don’t feel my situation compares to most of the people on here .others have it a lot worse

but hoping someone has time to share some insight .

I have developed severe anxiety and depression , social anxiety from some bad Experiances that I won’t go into

been seeing a psychologist who suspects ptsd - but I read with ptsd there is emotional numbing ... but my emotions are all over the place - anger , guilt , depression , agitation , irritable and withdrawal

Anybody have any insight on this ? Because I’m a bit confused by this diagnosis

im coping ok ,one day at a time but wondering if I’m going down the right path and getting the right treatment

thanks

[Guest_1643]

hey boots

i have ptsd and have the emotional numbing for sure

but i think there are different symptoms and manifestations

interesting that u received a diagnosis for it as it is so often missed ....

i can't say if your diagnosis fits u as i'm not qualified to reeally understand ptsd, there may very well be different ways it comes out which are in line with what u feel

I suggest the book the body keeps the score

it's a great work on ptsd and has a lot of different case studies from the doctor's work with ptsd sufferers. i saw myself in them which helped me understand myslf and my condition.

[geoff]

Hi Boots, at first please excuse me as I'm using my mobile to type this.

It doesn't matter how much everybody is feeling we take every comment as of great concern and you are no different, and in saying that I'm very sorry for how you feel.

PTSD can effect us in different ways and it's not always consistent and one symptom maybe worse one day but not the next.

That's what your psychologist has to try and understand and gather all the information together so they can help you.

If you would like to get back to us take your time.

Best wishes.

Geoff.

[kellyd]

Hi Booots,

I'm fairly new to these forums, but I identified with your post and wanted to share some thoughts.

I was diagnosed with complex PTSD about a decade ago. At the time it was hard to accept because some of my symptoms and the emotions I was experiencing didn't match what I was reading or what I knew about PTSD. I also felt like my emotions were up and down and all over the place, with periods of real withdrawl from family, friends and the things I enjoyed about life. It took me a while to get comfortable with the idea of living with PTSD, but doing the work with my psychologist really helped. If you're keen, I could share a list of books, websites, etc. that were really helpful for me in learning about and accepting my diagnosis.

A diagnosis of any mental health condition can be both helpful and confronting/hard to accept at the same time, but it might be helpful for you to keep in mind that everyone experiences mental health differently. Your life experience, the trauma that caused the PTSD and so many other things can affect how you experience your diagnosis and so there's no 'one size fits all' experience for this. Your experience is valid and real and the way you experience it and live through it is just as 'okay' as the next person.

Be kind and gentle to yourself. If you feel like you'd like to reply, I'd love to share and listen as much or as little as you'd like.

Take care,

Kelly

[Backtheblue91]

Hi Boots,

I am of the position that it doesn't matter how objectively serious your trauma/ series of traumas are. They are highly personal and no one should have the right to invalidate your feelings based on an objective analysis

While I am not qualified to diagnose conditions, the symptoms you are describing are very similar to the ones I had which in 'clinical terms' are indicative of PTSD, there was a range of conflicting and negative emotions usually attached to an event or series of events in my life. There are highly effective treatments to alleviate or at least help you better cope with these emotions. It has worked for me, hopefully, BB can offer you the most appropriate solution for yourself.

I will only speak for myself when I say I too was diagnosed with CPTSD but through treatment, I realised there was a lot of events that I had to work through to address these traumas and it was harrowing but in my case, I've for the most part come out the other side as a newly freed person.

I hope that you can achieve that same peace of mind. We're here for you

Best regards,

Rhys

[Guest_1643]

hi Boots

Hi Rhys - thanks for ur heartfelt response which I Hope benefit Boots but also benefited me as well ... i'm grateful, thank you.

The conversation here is interesting.
I was reminded of something said to me by a therapist that it does'nt necessarily matter the traumatic event, it's what you feel when it happens.
Eg, certain scenarios may occur in certain communities, etc, and are regular and normal and somehow ppl survive them without trauma.

Another person may experience the same scenario and not feel okay at all. I remember how I felt when I was traumatised. I remember that intensity and also this heavy feeling that I couldn't put anywhere.

I know that feeling well. The event itself was not etched in my mind, but that feeling did stay with me. It was someting I couldn't contain or deal with.

I will ask the therapist more about this as I find it interesting.
For me also it was not being able to talk about the trauma that was very hard. sometimes the surrounding circumstances are painful, and make it so hard to move on. But I agree with Rhys that there are ways to unlock this stuck feeling and that it can be extremely freeing.

I personally completely believe there is healing and recovery after PTSD>

[Backtheblue91]

Yes, it's a very intriguing and unfortunately very taboo topic in our community. Without, undermining the general practitioner's expertise. My specialist and I dropped the 'D' from the disorder (in my case). Because they felt that it is not something you have to be burdened with for the rest of your life. You can go on to live a meaningful life when you achieve the peace you desire. The trauma will always be there in some shape or form, there's no negating that but it was our position that it shouldn't define who we are, it was simply, in my own case a series of events that had to be worked through and I found I benefited from it significantly. It won't be as universal for everyone, but I personally feel that the less we identify with the emotions we are feeling the better we are able to cope, in any case, thank you Boots and Sleepy for contributing to this subject 🙂

best wishes,

Rhys

[kellyd]

I agree it is a really interesting discussion, but that it is still seen as taboo in some places / to some people, which I always find a bit frustrating to think about.

I really identified with what you said, Backtheblue when you mentioned that this shouldn't be something we're burdened with our whole lives (especially when you think about the weight and burden of the trauma that caused the diagnosis of PTSD for someone). I felt very stuck when I first started working with a psychologist, almost like I was 'stuck' with the negative feelings and emotions. In my specific case, learning to see the trauma in the same way I would view an injury rather than using the word 'Disorder'. This really helped me see the feelings of anxiety and depression as part of a negative thing that happened in the past, which in turn really taught me how I could see a positive future. Don't get me wrong, not every day is all rainbows and fun but I am far and away better off than I was 5 years ago.

Thanks again everyone for sharing - I'm getting a lot from reading other people's perspectives and thoughts.

Kelly

[Booots]

Thanks to everyone for taking the time and offering insight .. I know this is an old post so not sure if you get this msg but it is appreciated. 

As for updates , it's PTSD , apparently recent traumas have triggerd delayed ptsd from old traumas that I didn't think were affecting me ... 

Anyway one day at a time , biggest challenge I have at the moment is staying in the present and not dissociating. I use the term present / and reality interchangeably.  I'm not psychotic amd I know what's real amd what's not but this dissociation is a break from the present so it feels like a break from reality 

Umm yeah that's me in a NUT shell ,lol