PTSD for Medical and First Responders

[A_Tech]

Hi,

Well obviously this my situation.

I was hoping to find others here that might have a similar background to chat with, it can be so hard to talk about this stuff with non-med people (and I mean no disrespect, it's just often graffic or upsetting to others).

Im a 40 year old female that has spent the last 10years in the State Trauma Hospital as an Anaesthetic Technician. My PTSD was brought about after years of exposure to shocking traumas, deaths, and no support from management.

I would love to hear from anyone that has a similar story, or just wants to chat.

Cheers ✌️

[TrailRunner]

Hi Mark,

I was fooled! I felt like my weight had plateaud, but I actually lost another 2 Kgs. I continue to eat the meail plan and this could be the week I maintain or put on weight again, fingers crossed!

I'll see if I can get BF to peruse the carer forums to find some better understanding of whats happening.

I had my independant psych appointment for workcover this week, it was hard and horrible (mostly just because i was so worked up about what it could be like) but i got through it. and binged on sugar and junk food so i was'nt thinking about it anymore (hello sugar crash and headaches)
He did mention that perhaps I've hit my quota of traumatic experiences, and I may not be able to work in the same emergency field.

Did your IME psych ask "what hand do you write with?" The oddest question of the day

Has anyone returned to the same field of work and been okay?

I don't want this to be the thing that pushes me out of clinical work, probably a pride thing! But i've been studying for years to specialise and so much of me is in that job.

[A_Tech]

Hi Croix,

Please don't ever feel bad about the differences between animal and human, As far as I'm concerned, most are the same (with the exception of spiders, snakes or things that are basically grose!!!!) It's a girl thing!

I'm one of those people that call my dogs my babies! So to me, the thought of having to euthanise an animal is just as devastating as the loss of human life.

I remember as a child watching my dad cry when he thought I wasn't there, because my parents couldn't afford to pay a vet to put down our puppy who had norovirus, so dad had to do it.

All my medical enthusiasm and passion has come from my dad, so when I think of that day I want to cry. I don't know how he did it!! Except that he just HAD TOO.

I truely believe that that no ones experience is any less valuable than someone else's. It's just a different perspective thats all. But thats exactly what we need too. If we all share our experiences with each other, then tolerance is so easier. Not just with PTSD, but with life in general.

So at least on this thread anyway, I want you to say anything you want too.

No one will ever have the identical experience, but we all have something that we can relate too.

Always share because it helps me, so I have to believe that it helps others too.

Donna x

[Croix]

Dear Donna~

I'm really grateful you replied, and for your generous welcome. I was feeling a tad isolated.

I'm not sure I can express matters properly as to why I posted in your thread, but I can perhaps try to explain with an unrelated example.

I have a disabled parking sticker, which entitles me to parking privileges (my disability is very minor). To get the sticker I had to pass a medical (or not-pass depending on your perspective).

Lately I've seen many with those stickers who do not have the appearance of problems. I started to feel resentful, particularly if they took the only reserved spot. However I knew appearances can be deceptive so I asked my GP when next I saw her. She said that the rules had been 'relaxed' somewhat.

A sort of medical bracket-creep.

I did not want anyone to think the same was happening in relation to PTSD. I hope that makes some sort of sense?

While I do have other issues that one jumped out at me recently and took me very much by surprise. So a new event appearing after a very long time was, for me significant information. As well the severity of the 'memory experiences' has reduced a whole heap compared to other matters in the late 80's. Some weaker flashbacks, but exit very quick, and deep memories that are not flashbacks, with self-awarness continuing. Again something of significance.

The emotional turmoil was still there, but again weaker and easier to emerge from. No massive unexplained crying jags that physically hurt.

So I put in the thread, partly to try to get matters of my own sort of sorted, partly to let others know what I regard as a couple of significant facts, the latter quite encouraging.

Truth to tell I'm not that keen on the thread and tend to avoid it now the flurry of posters has passed. I'm a past master at avoiding things:)

I feel for your dad, and for you. The memory of his pain, and your understanding of what he went though is most taxing.

Animals are something my family has always had, and putting animals down under any circumstances a pathway to grief.

I will take up your invitation and post here from time to time.

My thanks

Croix

[MarkJT]

TrailRunner, IME's are hard things to go through that is for sure. I don't think i was asked what hand i write with though!!I am waiting to get the call up for my next one as haven't had one is ages.

I have returned to the work that i did when i was injured with PTSD and others have also but others have not. I don't think there is any real criteria to see if you can return or not. I was just talking about this last night with a few mates who are now ill health retired, why did i get back when they didn't? I don't think that, that question is answerable though.

We spoke about the loss of identity for those that are ill health retired because they didn't go out on their terms. Not something that I know what it is like but must be bloody difficult to get through.

You have studied hard to achieve what you have so to be ill health retired would present challenges for you but that certainly (if it was to happen) does not define you as a person. Should that happen, i would encourage you greatly to let us know about it so we can help guide you through that process.

Mark.

[Croix]

Dear Donna, Trialrunner and Mark~

"But i've been studying for years to specialise and so much of me is in that job."

I wanted to say this was a huge problem for me, leading to the mistake of thinking I was 'locked into' a career. That thinking significantly delayed matters and produced less than optimal results as a consequence. I should have acted a lot earlier.

Croix

[MarkJT]

Croix, you are certainly not the lone ranger there. So many people if so many different professions get locked into their jobs. When you are ill health retired, you have not made the choice to leave that profession which is terribly hard to reconcile.

I was lucky enough to get back to work full time but until such time that i hand in my retirement papers, by my own choice, I do not believe for one second that i out of the realm of being ill health retired. I know that i could get majorly triggered at any time which could lead to that.

I have a few mates that have been ill health retired or forced out of their chosen career path and the loss of identity is clear and present. It is a really difficult situation to be in and one that i certainly hope that I never understand what it is like.

Keep in mind though, that I certainly hold those that are ill health retired in high regard. There is no loss of respect or admiration from me.

Mark.

[Croix]

Dear Mark and all~

Thanks. I can imagine how you feel about the PST coming back to bite you and being retired as a result. A most unsettling state to be in. On the up side I can say that after my condition reached it's peak I was able to handle things better. I hope you are there now too, and the ups and downs will be taken in your stride.

I remember prior to my stress problems I had an accident on the pistol range which rendered an ear partially deaf. I was always worried from then on that the powers that be would decide to ditch me as a result - they never did. So I can well relate to your concern.

The best I can say about my involuntary retirement was it was quite dangerous. There were a whole host of things that could have been done to make the transition more possible. Hopefully some of those measures are now in effect today.

My point in my previous post to Trailrunner was that changing career paths when not undergoing a major illness, even if forced, can be a whole load of grief. Doing it when ill makes it so much worse - a whole different ball-game. If I had gone a different path early and not felt constrained to keep going in the environment that was causing the problem then there might just have been a happier outcome.

Croix

[Gruffudd]

I don't end up in this discussion too often. I think it takes a long time to figure out all the elements that contribute to trauma.

I felt stuck at the department, because what else could I do? I did leave but am doing much the same job in many ways in the NGO sector. The difference is that the crisis I walk into is less and the bullying culture is back at the department all of whom I still deal with on a daily basis. So I don't think I am far enough away from it to really understand the impact that job had.

[Mobi]

Hi all,

im just so tired. Twenty five years in fire and rescue as an officer without any counselling then financial problems and now facing a Parkinson's disease diagnosis. I guess after reading others people's experiences I felt like my problems were insignificant and I was being weak. Then as a volunteer sea rescue skipper we pulled a dead guy out of the sea and suddenly I felt all my experiences flood back like they were now but once again as the person in charge I had to be strong for the crew just like the fire service. I'm not suicidal but sometimes I wish I could go to sleep and wake up to find it had all gone away. Is this how pts d is?

[MarkJT]

Mobi, welcome to the forums mate and in particular this thread for responders.

You have fallen into a trap that many do, underestimating your own problems. Your problems are your problems and you deserve to be given as much assistance, guidance and help as anyone else in these forums and also in the outside world.

Check out this link for beyondblue's information on PTSD: https://www.beyondblue.org.au/the-facts/anxiety/types-of-anxiety/ptsd.

Can you make a booking through work to get some welfare treatment? If you do not want to go through work, I would well recommend that you get your self to the GP to discuss this and maybe get a referral to the psych. You have 25 yrs built up and you want to make sure that your bucket does not overflow.

Again, welcome here and would love to here more about you. Can you tell us about other symptoms that you are showing? We may be able to assist you through the journey that you are on.

I am a 21 yr copper and have recovered (as much as you can) from PTSD. Live daily with anxiety and depression. I am pretty much full functioning again so going well....you can to.

Mark.