Ptsd/abused

[Jayjay4]

To try and cut a long story short I was abused by my uncle when I was 9 until I was 13. It’s taken a toll on my life in ways I can’t even begin to explain. I tried taking him to court but he walked free he had to many people to cover his tracks. After this I stopped talking to my whole family a short time after I lost my nan the last time I seen her she was on her death bed where she met my first child. It broke my heart and my nans last words to me was he’s a bastard talking about her son for everything that he’d put me and the family through. I’ve tried to move on with my life but everything I do I can never fully get past this. I later got married and had another two children. My marriage ended he is now in jail and I’m trying to move forward with my life with a new Man. He doesn’t have kids so he doesn’t fully understand. He doesn’t no all of my past because I feel like I can’t be open and honest with him because he just doesn’t understand I feel like it’s something he won’t listen to either. We have been on and off for two years. The last time I took him back he begged and pleeded and done everything he could to win me back. I went back three months down the track we are back where we started same old man who I feel like has no time for us or my kids who can’t put our relationship first for abit to try and sort us out. Our sex life has now gone from amazing to nothing he’s working 12plus hour days making no time at all for us. I’m crumbling to pieces and I just wanna cry and run away but my kids need me and I wanna work my relationship out but everything I do seems to make it worse. I don’t no how to move forward and be my old happy self again. I’m so broken.

[Sophie_M]

Hi Jayjay4,

Thank you for taking such a brave first step and sharing what sounds like a difficult journey with us. We know it's not easy to do, but it's so important that you have. You've found a safe, non-judgmental space where community members give and receive support, advice and conversation based on their personal experiences with mental health.

If ever you want to talk things over with a qualified mental health professional, please feel free to reach out to our support service any time day or night on 1300 22 4636. https://www.1800respect.org.au/ is also worth checking out and getting in contact with if you feel comfortable doing so.

[ecomama]

Dear Jayjay4

Thankyou for reaching out here, it's so important to feel understood and supported and HEARD. Before we go much further I want to extend my deepest sympathies for the loss of your Nan. We can talk more about that too. Whatever you want and need to share is right on par with what you need right now.

I've been through very similar things to you, so my heart goes out to you. BIG HUGS.

I totally admire your strength and perseverance with the whole Court bs.
I'm glad the offender IS FINALLY in jail.
GOOD ON YOU. Thankyou. You've done a service to our entire Community, so what you've done is fantastic.

I know the Superhuman toll this takes. I honestly do.

I'm hoping you can use this forum as much as possible, please keep posting and you're worthy of all the support you need and want.

Have you phoned Victim's Services in your State?
They have been freaking AWESOME in providing as much support to our family as possible.
They can do so much for you. Please phone them, they've been so kind and patient with me when I've fallen apart on the phone not knowing what to do. Just talk to them.

Another amazing service is 1800RESPECT. You can talk to a Counsellor and even be put through to a psychologist. They are a referral service also and 24/7. They may give you a list of great counsellors / psychs in your area for your needs.

For me, when I was in a very 'unhappy' marriage (which turned out to be full scale Domestic Violence), I was referred to a wonderful program called "Breaking Free", it's for victim's of DV. I'm sorry if you didn't know what happened to you as a child is within the Family Violence / Domestic Violence fields. But it all is.
I don't like the "victim" tag either and you and I are both SURVIVORS and hopefully thrivers one day too.

But we are victims firstly. This Course was INCREDIBLE. Mine was run through a local Women's Health Centre. Please phone them - you need a tribe around you supporting you.

Is your relationship the main concern you're upset about at the moment?

Love EM