My 11yo daughter was sexually abused by her stepfather

[BBUser19]

My sweet 11yr old daughter came to me recently and told me that her step father sexually abused her the night before. I kicked him out of bed that morning went to the police 2hrs later as that was when a CPI was available he was held in custody for 1 night released on bail the following morning.

I have started on medication. im struggling. I have no support from my family as it brokedown when I was a child. my friends are there for me but its not quite the same. this $%£& was my rock for 8 years now I have no one to hold me while I grieve.

My beautiful girl is coping ok at the moment and I try not to let it show just how broken I am. I am blaming myself for what happened even though I had no way of knowing it was going to happen.

Christmas is just round the corner along with highschool for my daughter and school for my son.

I am currently trying to find a new place to rent. but as I expect to take a fair bit of time off work my financial situation is getting worse.

I haven't been able to eat for 4days now. I've lost 8 kgs im getting weak. every time I go to eat I vomit.

Every diesel car and or Trailer is making me jump. Im finding it hard to sleep.

Got the locks changed as he had a key to the house.

I have been documenting all of his belongings and packing them away. waiting for the day he comes to collect them.

Im worried about what he will take as most of the things we bought together.

Im worried about my daughter im worried about how my son will cope when he relieses that the man he called dad will never be coming back. im worried about money

Im worried about me.

If u have any advice please help

Thank you

[pipsy]

Hi Xx. The main things to consider now are your health and welfare as well as your children's safety. The legal loophole the magistrate came up with could be your ex's barristers argument. There is a precedent here as sexual abuse is illegal, this could be argued in your daughters case. However, I have no wish to cause you further pain, so will not pursue that line. As far as your daughters pain and embarrassment, let her know she has no reason to feel embarrassed. Sometimes fear of bullying by peers who don't know or understand, plus embarrassment over what happened can stop children from discussing abuse. She is also possibly processing if she is somehow to blame, this too is natural. I hope in time she will be able to talk and let you know how she is feeling and whether she has withdrawn from interacting with her peers. She is extremely sensitive and will need constant reassuring. Please phone or write on these forums as you need to. We do have counsellors ready to offer support, you are never alone.

Lynda

[eagle72]

hello...

i hope your still on here.. because i too am a mum of an abused child.

its so hard to deal with and you can experience all emotions at once. my little girl was abused at 2yrs and she is 14yrs now. so it was a while back. but...i feel the pain of it more now then when it happened. i think i was in fight mode back then and now im just feeling.

i was giving birth to my son her brother when she told me so i had to keep my cool for him...i really believe he kept me sane.

ask me any questions....you were last on in 2016 so i hope you are coping well.