Male survivors of sexual abuse or assault

[Cornstarch]

I am not a man hater because I was sexually assaulted by one.

I love my male friends and taking a break from the tedious female psyche with them is blissful at times and a real hoot.

I attempted to post some url resources for sexual abuse survivors as I am so worried with how they are coping and they did not pass.

You really scare me sometimes brothers. I feel useless at times with the elements of coming to grips with this that are specific to males.

They may be triggering so please be cautious and sensible when engaging with them. Maybe it is wisest you don't do it alone at all. You could read them with a trusted friend, sibling, neighbour, parent, partner or take your tablet or smart phone to your GP or health professional and chat about it with them. Australia is so far behind.

Google: The Bristlecone Project, Jim Hopper, 1 in 6 and Dr Bessel van der Kolk

[MarkJT]

To come into here and post about your physical assault experiances, wow just wow. So much respect and the strength that others will get out of your posts, huge. So massive respect to you all.

Someday someone will read this thread and muster up the strength to seek assistance. Changing lives for the better.

[Just Sara]

My warm thoughts and congrat's go out to you Paul;

An inspirational and brave disclosure.

I grew up in a violent household with both parents often expressing rage and being physically abusive to each other. It's not just what they experienced, it was having to witness it as a sensitive child.

You're a legend too!

Dizzy xo

[Just Sara]

Hi Corny and Mark;

Very relevant and important issue! Thankyou..

In the 90's a survey was done in NSW prisons to identify the stat's of childhood sexual assault within the inmate populous. What came from this was mind-boggling!

The results showed ratio's in males was 8/10 and in females 9/10!

Departmental rep's who created the survey, said they'd predicted much less statistically.

In the indigenous population, the statistics were conclusive...10/10 in males and females. No conjecture or averages there.

This was done prior to the surge in ethnic incarcerations.

As a stat's freak, the math told me a very disturbing story. The flip side...no extra allied health staff were employed as a result! Absolutely unbelievable! Someone wanted a new CV entry I think..

Just FYI...Dizzy

[MarkJT]

Frightening stats Dizzy and that would be from the inmates who actually admitted in the survey. There would also be others who have buried it so deep, they are not even acknowledging it happened.

[Just Sara]

Yes Mark..unbelievable!

The fact that no action in any way, shape or form came of those stat's is criminal; and that's not a metaphor! The results alone would've been enough to warrant an extra psych in each prison.

It makes me furious!

[blondguy]

(excuse me for hi-jacking your thread Corny)

Thankyou Dizzy, This is a sensitive subject but when I wrote that my ex told me to sleep in the car...(not the couch after a verbal argument) and if I didnt she would call the police and say that she was being sexually assaulted.

We dont need to be rocket scientists to figure out what the police would have done if she would have made that call. I felt like I would be judged even posting this above as many many guys would never report such abuse

My Best Dizzy and Thankyou heaps Corny for such a great thread....I just wish the other guys would come out and say that they were abused or physically assaulted....Paul xo

[Just Sara]

Dear Paul;

I'm a little confused with your last post. If I can quote; 'This is a sensitive subject but...' I don't understand why you wrote 'but' and reiterated a previous comment.

I hope you don't think my comments played down your experience; on the contrary. You were a victim end of story ok? My mother was an extremely violent woman. My father never called the Police either when she went off the rails. She run him over with her car once while we looked on from our bedroom window. He told the hospital it was an accident.

I wasn't inferring you deserved it or was integral in any violent act either. You were a victim of a violent physical attack and humiliation intended to put you in your place..less than. It was a 'win or lose' situation on your ex's part where winning was worth physically and emotionally hurting you...not on!!!

Violence and abuse from both men and women isn't about physical strength, it's about power and control. (Big and small) The other important aspect as you've said, is about how men who are abused, find it near impossible to disclose.

You aren't hijacking this thread either. Fear for men in disclosing abuse by women is a major contributing factor of stigma and discrimination with equality or inequality of the sexes. I suppose the old politically correct term might be 'reverse discrimination'. (Not used anymore)

Your posts show a sensitive, gentle, empathetic and gutsy man behind your beautiful words. The thought of you being violent has never entered my mind. I think you're absolutely amazing Paul!

You have my full and undivided attention and support Paul.

Dizzy (Mega Hugs!) xoxo

[Cornstarch]

A friend just has.

Feeling stunned..................