Going nowhere fast

[wbgc84]

I know mental health has up and downs and is a basically spending my life on an emotional rollercoaster. I have never been big at asking for help before I have always been the strong one. I have put so many walls up to hide my mental health and have the ‘face’ the world wants to see. 

now many years later I am reaching out for help I have an assistant dog in training and some other measures in place. But I am still pushing them away a bit, will take some time to adjust. 

but with everything in life I always feel like a hamster running on a wheel, I am going flat out trying to do things to improve my life and move forward but I just keep ending up in the same place. I hope at some stage I can move to a different wheel 

[Eagle Ray]

Dear wbgc84

I think it is possible to move to a different wheel, and even leave wheels all together to travel your own path. But I very much relate to how that can be challenging. I’ve also found it hard to ask for help, have worked really hard to improve myself and have ended up feeling I’m much where I started a number of times in life.

However, one thing I’ve found is I’ve often learned and gained more than I think when I seem to be back at square one. You may find you’ve progressed more than you realise, and that each experience is actually a stepping stone moving forward (even if it seems imperceptible at first).

 I’m not sure what other supports you have in place, but it’s so great you have your assistance dog. Sometimes a good counsellor/psychologist can provide support in changing life patterns. I eventually found the right person to work with after trying a few therapists, but feel I’m working with someone now I can be safely vulnerable with and develop new ways of being that break old patterns.

 I think when you’ve found it hard to ask for help and you’ve always been the strong one, you are often the one most in need of a break where you get some support for a change. One way of looking at it can be taking care of your inner child - so kind of developing an inner wise parent who cares for your inner child, helping them to feel safe and loved, set healthy boundaries and feel deserving of good things.

Sometimes we need to initially co-regulate with someone else to set this process in motion. By this I mean empathically co-resonating with another where there is mutual understanding and someone else is a witness to your experiences. Someone else is present with you. This can be both very healing and a catalyst for change.

I’m not sure if that kind of fits with your situation but just thought I’d offer those thoughts in case they help. Hopefully others may chime in with some ideas.

[sbella02]

WBGC84,

Thank you for taking the time to post on the forums, we warmly welcome you to the community. I'm sorry to hear that you've been struggling, and I'm glad to see that you've found the courage to reach out. What an amazing first step.

I know what it's like to try and put on a front when you're dealing with things internally. Perhaps we don't want people to see our struggles, or maybe we don't want people to worry about our struggles... we portray that we've "got it covered" on our own. But there is a strength in reaching out. It may feel like weakness, but it means that we're listening to our minds, or even our bodies at times. Responding to our needs (both internal and physical) is a skill, and one that takes time to understand and master.

Would you feel comfortable opening up a little more about what you feel has come to a halt in your life? There's no pressure, but it may help us recognise how we can better support you. 

I'd like to echo Eagle Ray in that talking to a GP, therapist, or psychologist can be really helpful, if you would feel comfortable doing so. Professional advice can sometimes make a world of difference.

Journalling is something that also helps me a lot. Just having a little book where I can keep track of certain experiences, or write down how I'm feeling, or where I'd like to be in the future in a mental and physical sense, it can be a therapeutic exercise. 

I wish you all the best. Please keep chatting with us if you wish to.

SB

[Beth_123]

It takes a lot of strength and courage to ask for help and to start taking steps towards improving your mental health. It's understandable to feel hesitant or resistant to change, even with the support of an assistant dog and other measures. Sometimes, it can feel like we're stuck in the same patterns or cycles, but it's important to remember that progress isn't always linear. It's okay to take breaks, to slow down, and to give yourself time to adjust. With patience and persistence, you can work towards moving to a different wheel and finding new ways to improve your life. Remember to be kind and compassionate towards yourself throughout this process.