Giving evidence in court

[Holly87]

Hi everyone, 

Talking isn't something I'm comfortable with but at this point in time it's completely necessary.

I am looking for advice or tips/hints when it comes to criminal trials. I am giving evidence in less than a weeks time and I'm scared and losing my mind. This trial is related to historic child sex abuse. 

I would just like to hear how other people prepared themselves mentally and if they could offer any advice. I am terrified and I don't feel like I can do this. 

[geoff]

dear Holly, thanks for posting your comment in what seems to be a very difficult situation, where you may feel as though you are on trial, but you are giving evidence to potentially convict someone who maybe guilty.

Of course this is going to frightening, but then you are doing the proper action, to help other children.

Can I suggest that you make an appointment with any charity or in particular Anglicare who will then discuss how you approach this situation, but that's OK, however when you are on the stand, try and keep your answers short, because the longer you go on in replying, the harder it will be for you, and their solicitor will only try and confuse you, but they can't do this when your answers are short.

The other option is to contact or go and see the court, firstly so you know what it looks like and you won't be surprised when the time comes, and secondly ask whether or not they have counsellors who may also be able to help you, but please give Anglicare a ring. Geoff. x

[romantic_thi3f]

Hi Holly87,

Thanks for reaching out and I'm sorry to hear that you are in this situation.

I agree with Geoff in contacting someone for some legal advice. If you don't have any luck with Angelicare I would suggest the Legal Services Commission in your state.  They could potentially give you more specific information about what to expect and the questions you might get asked to help.

I also agree that it would be useful to go and see the court.  Sometimes even just pre-planning how you're going to get there, parking, etc can be so useful.  As someone who has had to go to court sometimes it can be the little things that can really add up.

Is there anything that helps you stay calm?  Sometimes people find that mindfulness, meditation, yoga or colouring helps them - I encourage you to find something that helps.  Things such as mindfulness, muscle tension exercises and breathing exercises are particularly good because you can do them without anybody noticing.  Remember that it's okay to be stressed and uncomfortable but that it will pass.

Finally, bring someone along if you can.  You don't need to be alone in this - friends, family.  You are in a hard situation so reach out for support.  If you find that you're not coping, give your GP a ring.  You have to do what's right for you.

Take care, and best of luck,

[Holly87]

Thanks for your kind replies. 

I have been assisted by the victim support service and I have been to the court to have a look around I am meeting with my lawyer today. So in that way I am prepared. I know what to expect but I am finding it difficult to manage my emotions leading up to next week. I feel so anxious and I realise that is normal but it doesn't make it any less horrible. My parents are witnesses as well so they will be coming with me but I'm limited on what I can discuss with them at this stage. I just want this all to be over. I'm just struggling with the fear that I will stuff things up and have mental blanks when asked questions. Each day that passes leading up to trial I feel more and more overwhelmed. I haven't been able to read my statement yet as I can't bring myself to do it. I know I have to in the next few days but it makes me sick at the thought. I guess I just feel alone in this. I am prepared in some ways but not others. I hope this makes sense. 

[Neil_1]

Dear Holly

I haven't been in this situation that you are facing and I wish you every strength that between now and your court date/day.  To get this far, it tells me that you have an incredible inner strength and courage way beyond what most people have;  and as easy as this sounds for me to write, if you can somehow summon up a bit more strength to pull you through over these next number of days ... and of course on the day.

Is there someone, your lawyer perhaps who can possibly run through a handful of "possible" questions that you may be asked?   That way, you can not only kind of try to expect what might be asked of you, but in that same way, you can hopefully prepare an answer.   Or not even a full answer, but perhaps several dot points.

The other thing that no doubt you've already been told is to give yourself as much time as you need - when given a question, take a deep breath and let it out nice and slow and think about the question;   even break it down so it might make it a bit easier to answer.    Lastly, if you're unsure of what the question is, ask them to re-word it.

I'm not sure of what support options you've got at the moment, but I hope that you're allowed to have family or friends close by;  and use them, lean on them - get all the support you can.

Please know also, that we are right behind you as well - you've had a few replies, but I can tell you that there'd be an enormous number of people who have read this and would be throwing their support behind you as well.

Write again if you feel you'd like to.  We'll be here.

Kind regards

Neil

[geoff]

dear Holly, as my good friend Neil has said we are all behind you, but I worry that this case is about something that may have happened with you, and I'm really sorry if this is not the case, but if it is, then the stronger our support is going to be behind you, not that it wasn't before, and as far as I am concerned sexual abuse is something that needs the full law enforcement to take full control of and the maximum punishment taken. Geoff. x

[Holly87]

Thanks Neil and Geoff, 

Yes, this is something that happened to me. It will be heard in the surpreme court and I will have to go through 2 seperate trials. There are numerous accused persons. The evidence I will give (on one trial for example) will take a predicted 5 full days to give not including time for the cross examination. I hope this information gives you an insight into why I'm so scared and anxious. I don't have my family to talk to at this time as they are witnesses and I'm not permitted to speak with them. I don't have any friends as I have lived the past 15 years with severe depression which lead to social isolation. I have not received any counselling for the past month as my appointments and such with my lawyer take up most of my available time that I'm not at work. So yeah, I'd say that I'm near breaking point when it comes to stress and I feel so friggin alone. 😢

[Neil_1]

Dear Holly

I will probably end up writing a lot here, but as I start I'm just feeling stumped for words.  Mostly with regard to how you're having to do this pretty much on your own and that you aren't allowed to have your family gather around you at this time when you would most need them for support.

I can fully understand the other side of the situation with regard to friends - we who live with and suffer this mongrel depressive disease (and other like mental illnesses) find it hard to keep friends.   You did mention your work - I hope they are being accommodating with you during this time and that, perhaps there might be "someone" there who you could lean on??

I have no idea how this kind of thing works, but I would hope that your lawyer or the victim support system people might be able to provide you with a kind of 'support person' or 'helper' during your upcoming days in court.  I can't imagine having to not only have one trial, but two - and for the first to go for 5 days on giving evidence.

What I do hope you are able to think on and KNOW is that what you are doing is the absolute right thing and as I said before, it is so courageous and brave of you to be doing this.  Yes, this is for you (and rightly so) but it is also for so many others out there in the community who have suffered and continue to suffer.  

Please stay in touch Holly

Kind regards

 Neil

[geoff]

dear Holly, what you must have had to endue under an enormous amount of sufferance, could only be described as horrific.

Although this may not be able to appease you, but what you are doing needs a great deal of strength, even though you may not feel as though it is, but to put these people behind bars and to convict them all is definitely the right thing to do, and to protect other girls from being harmed in the future is what you are doing, as well as to get revenge and what ever entitled is awarded to you.

I understand that the time with your solicitor is going to take up a lot of your time, and there maybe times when you want to not go through it all, but you are doing something very special, to convict these people and to look after other girls in the future from being victimised and abused.

Do you know the date of when it starts, but I also want you to have trust in us so that we can help you through all of this. Geoff. x

[little_pepper]

Hi Holly

 I've been following your thread with interest as i myself am going through the start of the same process. My experience is currently being investigated by the police and at this point i cant even think about the process as a whole beyond the next step because i don't really believe it will go to trial due to lack of evidence and the fact that it was so long ago. So i was just wondering if you don't mind me asking, how you went during the investigation period?