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OUT_OF_FIGHT · ‎29-10-2015

I'm a 58yr old woman with physical disabilities and suffering from depression as well as anxiety. It all stemmed from my childhood after being sexually abused by a family member and having it swept under the carpet as was the way back then. My whole life has been 1 huge battle and I seem to be a target for everything to go wrong. I married, had 2 children, divorced due to post natal psychosis and have raised both kids on my own. My son left at 16yrs to find his way in the world and I haven't seen him since. My daughter, who I thought was my rock and saviour helped me through a tough time after an accident left me with severe spinal injuries. She married an alcoholic gambler and has 3 daughters, 1 I have never seen. In 2011 after my accident money came through I offered to buy a property with her and him as I knew she'd never have a home of her own. I'd already raised her 1st child from birth and now the 2nd while they worked. I had a lawyer draw up a Deed of Agreement (toilet paper) as I supplied all the equity, legal fees and paid for renovations so we had separate residences. They had a small mortgage to service. It's been 4yrs of hell, raising both girls all at my expense, while he drank himself into a stupor constantly, stopped paying the mortgage, home insurance, land rates and electricity etc. She threw him out constantly but always took him back. My beautiful property resembled the local tip and I fell further into depression and began having panic attacks. In March I confronted them and begged them to save my home but it fell on deaf ears. I withdrew my childcare as number 3 was due in September and I simply couldn't cope anymore. I was left to try to pay all the bills in the hope of keeping my property. In May they moved out and I was shocked to find their residence had missing walls, windows and dog turds everywhere. The bank then informed me I would be solely responsible for the mortgage as in their wisdom listed me as a borrower and not an owner as I was led to believe. They weren't interested in the damage, just when I was vacating so they could foreclose. They refuse to show me the loan application and say it was verbal only. It's now in the hands of the CIO and I'm sitting on a ticking time. I have no one, am housebound, about to lose everything and only have my depressing thoughts for company. Living in a small country town doesn't help. Any advice would be greatly appreciated. Thanks for reading, sorry about the length.

Neil_1 · ‎30-10-2015

Dear out of fight (though I’d like to change your name to “Still Fighting”)

Welcome to Beyond Blue and thank you so much for coming here and providing your post. What a post it is – with all that you’ve described, you’ve been through the wringer on many occasions, BUT you’re still here and showing a tremendous amount of spirit and courage – to come here and post, that’s a good sign for a step towards some sort of positivity.

May I ask when you mentioned you had separate residences, I’m assuming that you are living in your own home and that the property you bought for your daughter is the one that got property damaged and that is now the subject of some hassle for you with the bank?

You’ve also mentioned that you live in a small country town – are there no acquaintances there, neighbours who might be friendly and willing to support you at this time? I really wish I could offer some more helpful advice.

One last thing to mention: have you made any appointments to see your doctor? It might be time to seek out some professional help as well – to try to take another step forward for you.

I do hope you can write back again.

Kind regards

Neil

OUT_OF_FIGHT · ‎30-10-2015

Hi Neil,

Thank you so much for your reply, I became extremely emotional while reading it simply because I didn't expect to get one . The property I bought is 2 storey and my flat is underneath the 4 bed residence above. Because of the stairs I never went up and therefore had no idea about the state it was in and that my beautiful granddaughters were living in utter filth. I can assure you my daughter was raised better than that and I'm extremely disappointed in her. I am for now still in my flat waiting for the Ombudsman's decision. I have just spent 14 weeks boarding at a neighbours as a Council sewer pipe backed up and flooded my home. I lost everything I owned and only had the clothes I was standing in. I never knew the neighbour before that as I spent the last 6 and half years raising the girls. It pleases me greatly to know that there are still a few good people in the world and will forever be in their debt but I do not want to be a burden to them.

I am currently receiving treatment from a phsychiatrist for my depression and take medication. Unfortunately the government has stopped him from visiting the town and it's now done via video link, not very helpful to me. I spend all my time at home as I'm limited physically from a failed spinal fusion, have Complex Regional Pain Syndrome, depression, anxiety and PTSD. There are no community services in town that can help. My nearest major town is an hours drive away and impossible for me to get to.

All my efforts to get legal assistance to save my home have failed because I don't have any money and Legal Aid say it's too complicated for them. Not much to be positive about unfortunately.

Ladyhawke · ‎30-10-2015

Dear Out of Fight,

Yours is such a gut-wrenching story; it's overwhelming for me - I can't imagine how it is for you. Neil always offers good advice, so I have little to offer.

I understand the visits from the psychiatrist have ceased, however, does the town have a GP you could speak to? I have found that GPs can often be a source of information/help othan simply providing medical help. In fact, does the town have any professional people lawyer, accountant, pharmacist - anyone who is highly educated who you could approach for advice?. These people usually have knowledge and contacts outside of their profession. You sound a little isolated. Does the town have a church, parish council, women's auxilliary, Country Women's Association who could help you with transportation. Sorry, I'm racking my brain but I'm coming up empty.

On the BeyondBlue Homepage, it lists many different ways of contacting BeyondBlue professionals. Why not telephone and speak to a someone who will more than likely talk you through options that may be available. They have the expertise in problem-solving. I do wish I could give you better advice, but I'm out of my depth here. Please contact BeyondBlue and speak to someone - I'm sure they will be able to offer adviçe.

LH