Complex PTSD - What is it and how do we cope?

[Just Sara]

'Complex post-traumatic stress disorder (C-PTSD; also known as complex trauma disorder) is a psychological disorder thought to occur as a result of repetitive, prolonged trauma involving sustained abuse or abandonment by a caregiver or other interpersonal relationships with an uneven power dynamic.' Wikipedia description..

I think this pretty much sums it up yeah?

I wish I could underline; '..relationships with an uneven power dynamic'. In my own case, C-PTSD was triggered by bullying in my workplace from 2008 until 2014. I developed symptoms such as Anxiety/Panic that grew in severity until a tragic breakdown in 2014. I was forced to medically retire.

Although my history of multiple trauma's and childhood abuse caused specific responses in me from an early age, I thought I was normal and everyone was the same. In fact, a lot of people in my inner circle were.

Decades later, I find out those friends/family members/acquaintances had gone thru their own traumatic situations. So why wouldn't I feel normal around them?

Today, as opposed to the 70's/80's (my adolescence/young adulthood) where abuse wasn't discussed, people have resources to out their pain and confusion in spaces like BB forum or with psychologists, social workers, medico's, psychiatrists and even friends/family.

Treatment has become the 'norm' instead of going it alone which is what many of us here had to do until society caught up with this 'pandemic' (IMO) of psychological disorders.

So, why create a thread dedicated to C-PTSD? Well, stigma and misconception around it's still rife in our society, and people suffering with this horrible disorder and not realising it is a constant.

Your views are absolutely welcome! We really do need to talk about it as consequences of C-PTSD and the benefits of therapy are worthy and an important part of recovery.

Newcomers and current members alike are encouraged to post; old, young, male or female.

Let's pick each other's brain and see where it leads...

Kind thoughts;

Sez

[Just Sara]

Good morning Susanne;

You've got a good grasp on your disorders and their symptoms; congrat's! I totally understand where you're coming from I can assure you. I agree...there's no one size fits all solution.

Like you, mindfulness saved my sanity and my life. (As well as anti anxiety med's) Up until then it was mostly 'fly by the skin of my teeth' coping. I mention it often on the forum, but people can't know the effects until they've experienced it for themselves.

One minute I'm having out of body panic, the next I'm taking one breath at a time in the moment feeling relieved. Who wouldn't want more of that? I know; it's not that simple, but after the first time it worked I haven't looked back. And yes, I had to train my brain to do it on auto pilot instead of being completely mindful all the time, and it was hard work. These days I pick up on signs quickly; early intervention at its best.

Unlike you though, I don't have another diagnosis to deal with like BP. It may be something you can enlighten me on; I'd be grateful as I'm sure others will be.

I'm so glad your landlord allows you to have your cat at home. I've had a small dog with me for 14 yrs and he's a blessing. Another bod in the room to cut thru the isolation. He woke me this morning from my bedside and when I picked him up and placed him on my bed, he kissed (licked) my arm and face to say good morning. What a treat! Animals are the best therapy.

Can I ask what drew you to the forum? You've done such amazing work in only a yr, it's an absolute credit to you. I'm shocked actually that you'd be put thru ET in the early stages of your diagnosis. It must've been horrendous. Schema Therapy's a lot more gentle on the soul.

My psych and I developed our own strategies thru CBT. Schema's were included but weren't a major focus. I've delved more into patterns; this suits my cognitive processing style. Discovering I was smart was an eye opener.

When you 'clicked' with being a survivor, was it life changing? My biggie was realising it wasn't my fault or responsibility (speaking of schema's) and grieved for a life of living that way since I can remember; hard slog!

Grief's such a big part of recovery.

I look forward to hearing from you again as I've enjoyed writing this post. Thankyou for being here...

Sez

[Just Sara]

Techniques to combat symptoms of c-ptsd can be varied but there's only so much psych's can achieve. I recently wrote a post which I feel might resonate with sufferers. I'd also love to hear your responses as when we find things that work, sharing and discussing them spreads the word.

I've copied these paragraphs for your information;

'I'm sorry to hear you've been teary; I know those times well. To my understanding, it's a sign you might need to curl up in one of those plush blankets and let it all out. And, can I suggest a weighted blanket on top?

This mightn't suit you, but it's worth trying one day if you're in the mood for experimental self engagement. The premise is to replicate being held. The body seems to respond to it for people who don't cope very well with physical connections mentally or emotionally.

The one's on the market are overly expensive. I've done it with a heavy winter doona by wrapping myself in a cocoon (not too tight and not too loose) while laying down with my head on the 'perfect' pillow. I felt reassured and safe.

I did it on someone else's lounge when I fell victim to a huge trigger one day. The comfort this bought was surprisingly effective, so every now and then I do it to supplement the absence of human company when the little girl inside feels raw and helpless.

The western world's overflowing with people who avoid 'feeling' thru addictive practices when sometimes, all they need is to be held and nurtured. No words, just being gently caressed.

Products on the market are popping up everywhere due to this technique working so well with autism. Please don't let this deter you from trying it ok, the effects can be extremely therapeutic'

I hope this has been helpful. I know for many, physical touch can trigger anxiety and panic. We all need comfort and to be nurtured, so doing it for ourselves is necessary in one form or another when the 'trigger bug' appears.

Kind and generous thoughts;

Sez xo

[startingnew]

thank you for sharing Sez xox

With the weighted blankets- i think they are a great idea depending on my moods sometimes i get too crowded even with a lightweight sheet. i am sensitive to physical touch (not as much though) but theres a big difference between people and an object like a blanket or a pillow so a weighted blanketed might be a good investment for myself.

[Peppermintbach]

Hi Sez (and all),

Brilliant suggestions 🙂

You’re doing a great job on this thread. It’s a testimony to your dedication to this topic, lived experience, intelligence and insight.

Keep up the great work 🙂

Love always, H x Hs

Pepper xoxox

[Just Sara]

Thanks for responding SN;

I'm glad this kind of resonates with you. Physical touch is a biggie for some, especially victims of rape and child sexual abuse.

Personally, I crave physical engagement. Years of physical, emotional and mental punishment and rare moments of nurturing from parents is probably at the core. I suppose that's why my cocoon worked so well at the time.

The other aspect was I had no PRN med's to fall back on when the trigger hit. Discovering a response technique other than medication was an important finding.

If you do try it at some stage, I'd love to hear about it ok.

Keep up the great work with your recovery too. So proud of you.. xoxo

Hi Pepper;

Thankyou so much for the kudos and reassurance. They never go astray. 🙂 Being appreciated and effective's really important as you know. And yes, this particular issue's close to my heart and indeed the wider MH community.

You're doing a wonderful job supporting others while dealing with your own recovery too. Don't forget to pat yourself on the back as you so deserve it lovely.

H x H's;

Sez xoxo

[Peppermintbach]

Hi Sez (and all),

You’re most welcome 🙂

It’s well deserved. You’re doing a wonderful job on this thread and elsewhere on the forums.

Oh that’s beautiful, thank you to you too.

H x H’s,

Pepper xoxo

[startingnew]

Hi Sez

i guess everyone is different in the way they respond, thats more than ok.

im glad your cocoon worked well, i love my bed so its often one of my 'safe havens' so to speak but if dont have access to that i find any distractions- any form- is good when i encounter a trigger. again depending on the state im in, i still have the extremes and constant changes but am in the middle of sorting out mood stabilisers which as you know is incredibly slow at increasing! im not on any anti-depressent/anxiety meds, nor do i have PRNS.

when i was on the other meds it really helped me get my head back together again, now not to so much.

my psychiatrist wanted to put me on other medications but im really weary of the side effects ive had so ive said no for now. they wont give me PRN meds even though ive asked.

ummm.... out of everything i couldve said ive drawn up blank. i cant think of any strategies that help atm except Breathing and laying/sitting down. might have to come back abit later...

[Walking]

Hello Sez,
sharing experiences of what techniques helped and which ones did not from people with actual CPTSD is most valuable. We are all different and need to find our ways to manage and have go to routines etc. To get the experience shared from a fellow CPTSD person is more useful than therapists as the explanations are more relatable as well as the experiences with it.

I have been triggered at work today and to my relieve I was able to manage it and not let inner emotions etc. take fully over. I still did feel raw and sick and had a full afternoon with meetings ahead.
I managed to get to the showers on our floor and went on to do roll down while breathing out and with coming up breathing in and to salute to the sun and repeat 3 times - anyone practicing Pilates/Yoga would have a good understanding of what I mean.

Breathing alone is good but at times this is not enough. The roll down while breathing out and then pulling you up via your abdominal muscles vertebra by vertebra and breathing in and on top stretching your arms up and come down again helps to bring my focus back to the now and here and also take stock that my body is not harmed or violated helps.

Challenge I often find is to find is being ashamed of my reaction to a colleague tipping me on the shoulder while I was on the phone, reading mail and communicating via signing another person. That tipping on the shoulder scares the shit out of me and the person just looks at me and says whats wrong with you.
Yes there is a lot wrong with me but to be honest man it was quite obvious that I am juggling 3 things at the same time so you thought sure I can manage a 4th one. Of course that does not come up in my mind only whats wrong with me and also now later I am trying to look at it positively as not that long ago a similar incident had led to me losing control. Sure I know every day is different and with that ones window of tolerance can be wider open or very narrow and it can change within the day.
Being aware of your window of tolerance is the other part that has helped me recently to be open and honest with myself and feel how open or narrow it is and take that into consideration and if its narrow remind myself of self regulating methods that worked for me and be mindful to take the additional 10 seconds to mindfully breath.

thats it from Walking and I hope that also explains why I chose to join.

[Just Sara]

It sure does Walking!

Thanks for getting back to us as it's so important to reveal our coping strategies and management tools for others to ponder, comment on or trial. (This goes for you too SN! Thanks for your offering, nice job lovely)

We're here supporting others while supporting ourselves. Sharing our stories along the way which also lightens the load.

I'm sorry you were triggered. It's hard slog getting thru those times in public. You seemed to deal with it well though; kudos! You've demonstrated really well how physical activity works if you work it! Our bodies are a direct link to our brains; it 'feels' us. You feel me? lol

I have to get going and won't be back for a little while. You made a comment, could you clarify it if that's ok. I think you might get a few responses;

'...from people with actual CPTSD'

I'm looking forward to reading and responding when I return.

Take care;

Sez

[Walking]

Hello Sez

Thanks and what I meant with the comment as shown in the context was to hear from fellow people who have CPTSD and know how it feels and how non logical etc it can be versus from people talking from a studied theoretical point of view.

By absolute no means did I mean to offend or undermine either. Advise and suggestions from professional is good and be very helpful from a more "distant" point of view. Feedback and sharing from us who battle through has a different perspective and besides the different approaches it also helps in a way to see you are not the only one and also how your strategies might change over time etc.

Again sincere apologies in case anyone felt offended

All the best

Walking