Complex PTSD - What is it and how do we cope?

[Just Sara]

'Complex post-traumatic stress disorder (C-PTSD; also known as complex trauma disorder) is a psychological disorder thought to occur as a result of repetitive, prolonged trauma involving sustained abuse or abandonment by a caregiver or other interpersonal relationships with an uneven power dynamic.' Wikipedia description..

I think this pretty much sums it up yeah?

I wish I could underline; '..relationships with an uneven power dynamic'. In my own case, C-PTSD was triggered by bullying in my workplace from 2008 until 2014. I developed symptoms such as Anxiety/Panic that grew in severity until a tragic breakdown in 2014. I was forced to medically retire.

Although my history of multiple trauma's and childhood abuse caused specific responses in me from an early age, I thought I was normal and everyone was the same. In fact, a lot of people in my inner circle were.

Decades later, I find out those friends/family members/acquaintances had gone thru their own traumatic situations. So why wouldn't I feel normal around them?

Today, as opposed to the 70's/80's (my adolescence/young adulthood) where abuse wasn't discussed, people have resources to out their pain and confusion in spaces like BB forum or with psychologists, social workers, medico's, psychiatrists and even friends/family.

Treatment has become the 'norm' instead of going it alone which is what many of us here had to do until society caught up with this 'pandemic' (IMO) of psychological disorders.

So, why create a thread dedicated to C-PTSD? Well, stigma and misconception around it's still rife in our society, and people suffering with this horrible disorder and not realising it is a constant.

Your views are absolutely welcome! We really do need to talk about it as consequences of C-PTSD and the benefits of therapy are worthy and an important part of recovery.

Newcomers and current members alike are encouraged to post; old, young, male or female.

Let's pick each other's brain and see where it leads...

Kind thoughts;

Sez

[blondguy]

Hi Sara

Hi WhiteNile...Sara will be back in the next couple of days

Welcome to the forums and good on you for having the courage to post too!

I understand you as I have had 34 years of (diagnosed) generalized anxiety and depression which has also been linked to my childhood. After all these years with my PTSD symptoms I am also convinced that the bulk of these awful symptoms are chemically based too

Can I ask if you have been diagnosed with CPTSD?

The labels can be a pain when we are trying to help ourselves.

You are proactive by having had counseling and that makes you strong. It took me many years to fugure out that super frequent counseling (weekly...fortnightly) was a huge key that unlocked the door from these vile feelings

There are many gentle people on the forums that can be here for you WhiteNile

I really hope you can post back when its convenient for you 🙂

My Kind thoughts

Paul

[WhiteNile]

Thanks Paul,

I have been diagnosed with CPTSD and Bipolar 2. I too think that it's chemical and environmental so I take regular meds and twice weekly therapy. I like my therapist as she has a different approach to everyone before her, she has very little to say and I teach myself through talking. It was strange at first but actually works for me.

I find the labels helpful to understand and to be able to describe what is going on for me.

I find it difficult to describe my thoughts and feeling as my 'trauma' is emotional neglect and abuse...this also lead to physical trauma as an adolescent but I am now realising that it all stems from my childhood experience.

I never learnt to deal with emotions and have never been able to explain my experience of day to day life.

I'm in the early processing stage coming from denial about my family dynamics trying to accept reality. Intellectually I know but true acceptance is hard.. I'm actually not sure what needs to happen for that shift to occur, but I know a shift to acceptance is needed.

I wonder if others are out there experiencing the same thing as me and if others have also transitioned to acceptance. What is it that flicks the switch?

[white knight]

Hi whitenile

I have bipolar2, depression, dysthymia and for 25 years had anxiety

I have a bipolar episode about onve a year. It lasts around 10-14 days. It usually starts with a trigger like something controversial or an injustice, a prejudicial incident or nastiness.

Ive found distancing myself from people does work amd adding hobbies helps distract me.

Google

Topic: fortress of survival- beyondblue

Topic: anxiety, the frog and the scorpion- beyondblue

Topic: triggers that down me, triggers that lift me- beyondblue

Topic: the balance of your life- beyondblue

Cheers

Tony WK

[Walking]

Hello

New here and shout out to all brave enough to share.

I got high functioning C PTSD. Decades of mental physical and xxx abuse since I have memories via family members and later also via others.

I have major issues with positive emotions as I have no to very limited experience with humans on that topic the only association of anything friendly and not suspicious is with animals.

Up until a year ago I had no treatment. A major trigger event at work from which I could not recover brought me face it and seek professional help. I feel ashamed and a failure for needing and not being able to just get on.

Cognitive I understand my triggers and that these are from the past etc. But my body and emotions are not in line with my rational mind. This is very frustrating and I know that I need to accept it as otherwise it just adds further stress and negative and abusive self talk.

What helped me most is mindfulness to stay in the present, various breathing methods as well as when I fell panic etc swelling up to use cognitive tools such as what are the 3 things I can see, what are the 3 colors I can see and so on.

I was very against but have given in to taking anti anxiety medication and yes it helps to get a better base line which helps me in managing day to day life.

My first therapist use exposure therapy and that went wayside very quickly as I was no where ready for it. I have a good working relationship with my current therapist and I feel she understands me which is really a must I would say as it enabled me slowly to open up and keep an open mind in working with her approach which is schema therapy.

Wish everyone all the best and strength as this is a long journey and there is no fix but to have a great deal of insight in yourself and developing supportive and not maladaptive coping mechanisms.

I might sound cool and composed and yes for the most part this is how I appear but the struggle is raging inside from shame failure worthlessness its all my fault getting what I deserve and so on to what about me and deepest loneliness.

As mentioned its a journey and thanks for walking together

[WhiteNile]

Thanks, I'll have a look at these resources.

[WhiteNile]

Walking, thanks for sharing. I too would be seen as high functioning however deep down this is far from the truth. It's a daily struggle.

I can relate to your post in many levels particularly only feeling close and safe with animals. My dog has been the most amazing help in dealing with Hyper vigilance.

hoping that we can switch to acceptance and create more positive relationships and coping mechanisms as time goes on.

[Just Sara]

Hi and welcome to our caring community WhiteNile and Walking!

I'm 'Just Sara' but I like to be called Sez. I created this thread because there's a real need in the community for information via lived experience, websites and books on Complex PTSD. (as well as PTSD) I've given interpretations to both on the opening page.

I'm glad to meet you both and hope your BeyondBlue experience is just what the Dr ordered. It seems you're becoming self aware and well on your way to self discovery and recovery.

There are 3 pages of posts to read if you get the chance to look thru. Some mightn't lure you, but some most definitely will. I personally recommend anything to do with Fight/Flight/Freeze; our brain's primal response to danger.

This process above all explains what our minds don't fathom. Our bodies react without us consciously knowing why or when it'll happen. But if you educate yourself on its relevance and workings, you just might feel relieved.

I won't be on for very long today as I'm quite busy, but wanted to pop in and introduce myself. I'm in recovery now and have learned very powerful lessons thru my own trials and tribulations. There are great resources out there if you know what to look for. Hopefully these pages can help you on your way.

Thankyou for your posts too. We all have our stories and even though they differ in specifics, our similarities are keys to empowerment and quality of life. I look forward to talking with you in the future.

Take care;

Warm thoughts;

Sez x

[Just Sara]

Addit: Thanks Tony WK and Paul for helping out. Macho grassy-arse!!

Sez xo

[Walking]

Thanks for the welcome Sez.

Both theories and practical experiences are helpful in different ways.

I see the theory as a helpful tool to understand possible background 'mechanics'. The practical lived experiences help as they show you are not crazy and not the only one who seem to have issues with base simple concepts to implement them.

People often tell you to just let it go and move on. Sounds simple doesn't it!

Mindful meditation has been helpful for me. It took a while and experienced this also with other things that sometimes the time is not right or also the method.

Its everyone's own journey and not a one size fits all. We all have to find what works for you.

For example I did for the longest time not see the difference between thinking that I am a victim of domestic violence versus a survivor.

One day it clicked and I felt it and it has given me strength. I survived this, I got through it somehow that should count for something. It gave me active strength versus passive endurance if that makes sense for any of you.

It's an effort every day to see it that way and yes there are many times that I ask why what does it help it be better if I haven't. But for some reason I have so here I am.

Wish you all peace in your minds

Walking

[Walking]

Thanks WhitNile its amazing what help animals can be.

It took me over a year and unbelievable pain to get through to be allowed to have a cat in my apt. The landlord had no issue but strata was on a strict no pets of any kind and for any reason.

He really helps me in so many ways.

I can also relate very much to you mentioning hyper vigilance being constant on and assessing your environment, noises, situations etc.

It is exhausting.

I can relate that yes my cat helps also with this and it is very helpful that when I wake up he is there as well as when I come back home he is there at the door greeting me - and yes of course looking for food.

Wish you all the best.