Childhood trauma

[zjr95]

Hi all,

Can someone make sense of my brain, I feel all over the place. I was rebellious once I hit my teen years I think as a result of my parents. My dad left when I was 8 years old and tried to make me choose between them when they split. I got into heaps of trouble, and my parents tried so hard to control me to the point where I was physically abused. My point is, I am 26 years old. I still have these traumatic memories. I don't know how to heal from them as I guess this is why I am the way I am today. I have terrible social anxiety to the point where I can't even speak to people. I find it so hard to trust people. My mind is so clouded and anxious that I can't even speak properly. I still have a close relationship with my parents but I wonder if this is a obstacle in my path to actually healing? It's hard because they are my parents and we are pretty close now, but it wasn't just discipline, it was child abuse. Would love to hear people's opinions. Thanks for reading.

[geoff]

Hello zjr95, thanks for joining the site.

The attitude of your parents when you were young may be different to now as an adult, and to choose between which one to stay with, should have been by how you thought and not by them trying to coax you by means that may have not been appropriate.

To not being able to trust people and the inability to speak with others may have been learnt from your experience as a youngster, although I'm not a doctor to qualify this, but as you have traumatic memories then you may be suffering from PTSD, a doctor will be able to diagnose you.

Your fear of not being able to speak to anyone could have been taught to you by your parents arguing together and being physically abused.

Talking with us is anonymous and hope to hear back from you.

Geoff.

[Petal22]

Hi zjr95,

Wellcome to our forums.

Im sorry you have been feeling this way and what happened to you when you were younger.

Have you ever had professional help for your traumatic memories?

You can learn to heal from this, if you haven’t already I highly recommend you do a mental health plan with your gp, this will enable you to see a psychologist who will be able to help you.

[Frangepani]

Hi There i hope your doing ok thankyou for sharing your story i know exactly what you are going through because I am been through it to from a very young age. My life so far as by no means has been easy. But in saying that you can heal because im still on my healing journey all I could do is reach out to mental health professionals that helped me along my path when I felt like I had no one else to turn to. I've had years of counselling but while that has helped me I ve taken a different approach now and it has been through only sheer hard work in my personal growth and my faith in God that my life has turned around when it looked like some of my darkest times in my life I survived that and it has made me a stronger person than I have ever been before. I will never stop working on myself. I know now that I do deserve an amazing life where im not just existing but actually living. I hope you get some comfort out of this cause you deserve to be happy and don't let anyone tell you any different. Positivty is what you need in yr life not negativity and believe you me I've had enough of that in my life to date. Stay well you can get through this and turn your life around because I have. Im not completely healed but I have made a lot of progress and have come a long way in my healing journey. If there's anything else you would like to know im here if you feel like you want to reach out again take care of yrself you are a beautiful caring person all the best to you.

[romantic_thi3f]

Hi zjr95,

Welcome and thank you for joining us. I'm jumping in a little late but I wanted to say hi because this is absolutely something I can relate to. While my parents didn't split, there was abuse too and while I'm an adult too like you, I've held onto those memories for a long time.

I don't think having a close relationship with your parents is an obstacle to you healing; I think you can do both. I currently have a tricky relationship with mine and it's hard for me to hold that I can have a laugh with them while also knowing they've caused me so much pain at the same time. But I'm doing both, and learning that I don't have to choose.

Hopefully you can come back and join us as it would be great to talk more with you.

rt