Can you over come PTSD

[Mum Chris]

Hi

I'm in relapse of PTSD and not functioning well. Any type of loud talk or noise or if someone has a scowl on their face I am going straight to panic. My heart races I get terrified and imagine terrible things are going to happen and I can't stop it.

I'm always trying to keep ahead of any drama making sure everyone is happy. Hiding things and not saying how I feel and when asked a question I can't answer. I stutter and get sick in stomach

i listen for sounds in the house and their voices to see if tone is ok. Are they happy is dog doing the right thing are neighbors ok are bills due is my boss happy. I'm having days where I can't move or function. But if any family say how are you I say I'm fantastic and smile.

I'm working cooking cleaning but my hairs not done and I'm in pjs I'm working remotely so on good days I work longer hours to make up for my bad days and I've taken leave when I'm really bad.

Bad dreams are back all my husband has to say to me is something he's not happy with and I nearly fall to the floor. He's not the cause of my PTSD but he is making trigger back to my life of terror.

Is there a cure or something that can make me be able to calmly talk about disagreements instead of me saying yes yes whatever you want no problem it's good. And then hands shaking stomach sick heart racing cold sweat crying panic grab keys and ready to run while begging please stop talking I can't handle it I'm going to die it's too much. No matter what the discussion is about that's my reaction. I'm crying all the time now too so I have to hide in bathroom till I can calm down.

I need a cure I've been carrying this for a long time and I really had gotten better and stronger

[Mum Chris]

Hi people

Life is been marginally better. I'm more open and a little bit less scared. Still crying a lot and ready to run but been demanding niceness. If that makes sense.

Ive made contact with support and talked to kids about not feeling well. They understand sort sort of

I had a friend turn on me and I have tried to back track to see if it was me. I stood my ground and it caused her to get angry totally petty and don't need that right now I have offered olive branch to her twice but I'm being ghost. I flagged that being isolated from my support system is not what I expect from my friends.

I am doing things for me I'm decluttering house and life I do one thing for me each day I'm on meds for the heart racing and fear it's working my next job is a haircut and a bought new clothes and shoes and got rid of old

I been more me and doing what I need to some are not happy with the changes.

I hope everyone else is ok. Job losses will be announced soon. Covid is beating Australia and I just want my kids to have a job 😳 I do need a job for sure but I'm trying to stay positive.

[ecomama]

Dear Mum Chris

Thankyou for coming back and updating us on your progress.

I found the same thing happened with my "friends" and any others I stood my ground with.
The thing is with a normal 'give and take' relationship, there are fewer issues.
Something to think about.

I have the same concerns as you for our children. Covid has cost us big time but I'm most certainly grateful that is hasn't cost our lives.

Onto you! It's very sweet you've been doing more things for yourself! Ppl with MH issues do seem to struggle with self-care, I know I do lol... so I started a thread here on 3 things for self-care if you'd like to visit and have a squiz.

Do you have any ongoing MH support ie Counsellor?

You don't have to answer ofcourse. It's been a steady bolster for me having a Counsellor but I needed more this year as the C-PTSD skyrocketed so sought a psych for a while.

I'm doing alot better now.

Wishing you and your family all the best,

Love EM

[tranzcrybe]

Hi Mum Chris,

You will laugh at this, but I had to scroll through earlier posts to see if this really was the 'Mum Chris' last held in my thoughts! Such a positive reinforcement in everything you wrote today.

Believing in yourself does involve allowing others to disagree or even not like you for it - that choice rests with them to respect your views regardless of differing opinions. Sadly, this is the sort of behaviour some people resort to in petulance, and I think you were very considerate to recognise and evaluate your role in the contention. You have done all you can to assist without compromising yourself - Bravo!

"I am doing things for me I'm decluttering house and life" - I like the correlation you find in 'getting your house in order' being both your external and internal worlds.

Well done, Chris, I truly admire the 'real' you and can hear the confidence in your words. You deserve to be liked for who you are, as we all do, and I hope you continue to grow into yourself to realise your full potential.

Kind regards,

t.

[Mum Chris]

MH care is on my to do list just not sure which way to go with it. It's expensive but I do have access to some at work. Woke up dark and down today feeling incapable of functioning but I opened my curtains and got up and dressed. I've eaten well engaged with family. Did a little more organising house.

Instead of hiding my feelings I said to hubby I'm sad today and I hate everyone but my family. I think I took the wrong medication this morning but maybe not it just hit me hard.

im so lucky I hear kids voices and giggles and How can paralysing fear exist in such lovely home.

Thank you for kind words

[Mum Chris]

The MH I have contacted told me that I will need to seek out a long term alternative. That can help with PTSD but I'm concerned about cost maybe a self help group may be good.

The friend issue was so petty and I refused to comply and went about my normal day. But it hurts when someone scrubs you for not bending to their behaviour. I suppose it is my baby steps. I also expressed anger at a family member and defended myself. Yes I freaked out after but I did it. I have been just been voiceless and gave in.

I made a date to see a friend and went out. I did get scared halfway through but I stayed and we had a nice time

[ecomama]

Dear Mum Chris

Yes MH support from a psychologist IS expensive. Even with MHCP!

A Counsellor for the mean time may be a good option for you... these are much more affordable and if you go through an established service like Uniting Care (as I have) then they scale the appt cost on your income and may have a Counsellor who matches your needs.
I got a gem!
She knows so much about stuff for my trauma background.

If things become unmanageable for you then it's worth the cost of a specialised trauma psych (for your specific trauma)... I saw the "wrong" trauma psych this year lol... she specialised in "event" trauma like accidents etc.
She had zero clue about DV and SA.
BUT she still gave me brilliant tools over the first 3 sessions and taught me how to do exposure therapy on my own, so learning these skills freed me.
I stayed for 5 sessions but there wasn't anything left in her to help me more with.

I kept my Counsellor throughout.

You can always phone 1800RESPECT and ask to be put through to a trauma psych over the phone.
They've helped me so many times just "get through"....

Best wishes
Love EM