Hi all! It's been a little while since I've started a new post because I've been extremely lucky in that everything has been going well.
However I found out on Saturday night that my ex partner is now in jail and it kind of threw me for a loop.
We were together 9 years and he always battled addiction and obeying the law. In the end his ice addiction changed him and he became physically and emotionally abusive towards me, even putting me in hospital twice and cheating on me.
Leaving was hard because I loved the person he was before drugs but it was the best thing I ever did as the person he became was hurting me a lot.
I don't love him any more and have had no contact since leaving (about 7 months ago), I have an amazing boyfriend now and have well and truly moved on from the past but I don't understand my feelings when finding out about his situation especially because everyone saw it coming, including me.
I feel shocked, sad but also overwhelmed with relief that I don't have to be the one picking up the pieces for him while he was in jail. I feel devastated for the person I once knew, despite the fact that he hadn't been that person for at least 18 months due to his ice use.
His sister has tried to contact me but I don't want to see his family because I want to leave him and any ties to him in the past but is that selfish of me?
After I left, all I felt was anger and resentment for him and didn't care at all about what happened to him. But now that something has happened, I feel sad? And although I feel sad, I still have no desire at all to make contact with him or see him.
I'm confused about my own emotions which is frustrating.
I've been talking to family and friends about it but everyone seems to think I should be so happy with him being in jail after what he did to me and of course, his own actions put him there but I just don't feel happy about it.
Always grateful to be able to vent here : )
Lots of love
Gem
