Trauma in new Country due to situations at new workplace. How to turn thoughts into positive ones?

[Thala]

Hi everyone

This is my first time posting on a forum ever.

I want to share a tough experience during my new life in Australia. I arrived 2 years ago. Once I got a job in my field (it was my dream) I began to struggle a lot with the language and having very strong anxiety sensation. I was supposed to speak English very well as I’ve studied enough, I could express myself easily outside with others but as I’d get to the office my second language was forgotten and I’d pretend to understand everything pretty well making myself confused and making heaps of mistakes at work.

Waking up every single to work at the begining was an amazing experience, but by the time my mind was full of thoughts, fears and insecureness up to the point avoidance social situations appeared. I worked in there for 1 year and a half struggling every day with these thoughts and fears. Last project I worked with a guy from a European country who was kind of bully so my situation went worse.

I was sacked, I lost my job. Nowadays, every time I visit the city, my negative memories and thoughts take me over up to the point I don’t like this city anymore, I’m afraid to find another job in my field (Do I still love my major? Yes I do) what happens is that I’m scared to return to the office environment. And because of the situations with the European guy, I started to hate people from that specific country which is something that I need to overcome as I know I shouldn’t stereotype.

How can I turn over all these deppresive sensations to make them positive and encouraging in order to start everything over without any fear? Any tips or suggestions?

Thanks for your time reading my post.

[PamelaR]

Good morning Thala

Welcome to Beyond Blue (BB) Forums. The people who respond to your post will be supporting and caring.

I can understand what you are experiencing Thala. My father was a migrant and his working and social life were always a struggle for various reasons. He spoke English fluently and it was the only language spoken in our house. However, because of his particular ethnic origin, particularly during the 50s, life was very tough. I don't think he ever come to terms with it.

My understanding of your circumstances at your previous job caused anxiety that has consequently made other things difficult for you - going to the city, being apprehensive about the work you want to do, not liking a specific ethnic origin and being afraid. Wow, that is mammoth.

Can I say you are marvellous. To come to a new country, get a job for 12 months and to keep up with Australian English is fantastic! Wow, is all I can say. English language in Australia has lots of jargon and slang. It is no wonder you were having difficulties and began to feel anxious. The matter with the person who was bullying you is another matter altogether. There are laws in Australia that mean employers must make the work place a safe environment for employees. Bullying is not supposed to be tolerated and there are means of managing this. You could follow up on this by looking at Australian and State legislation on work place health and safety for your further employment.

While you think the language issue and the bully are the major causes of your anxiety, consider other things that may help your anxiety. It's hard to provide a good response without knowing a more about you. E.g. do you have family here with you? Do you living alone? Do you come from a very culturally diverse place to Australia? Have you had any other trauma in your life? All these questions I've mentioned can also have a role in your current anxiety.

I suffer with anxiety that is difficult to manage at times. I manage it by -

• going to a good doctor and psychologist
• breathing slowly in and out while focussing on my breathe. Generally to the count of 4 or more.
• eating well
• getting regular exercise
• having a network of friends - this takes time and energy to build (through sporting groups, games, reading groups)

It would be good to hear from you again.

As I said you are doing exceptionally well for someone who is very new to Australia. Half the battle is being kind to yourself.

Kind regards

PamelaR

[Donte]

Hello Thala,

Welcome to the forums. May I say your English is great!

What you describe can be a very common experience among many in a new job and a new 'culture' (office culture and politics), and many struggle even if language is not an issue. You are not alone.

For you, it was the language barrier, for others is something else. It is pretty tough working in an office. I have done it for decades and it has been one of my least enjoyable experiences. The environment nowadays especially, is so political, tense, that no matter what one says or doesn't say is unavoidable to not feel intimidated at some point or not offend someone. It's like walking on eggshells. With the low wages today, it hardly makes it worthwhile.

As for the bullies, unfortunately they abound all around us and come in many different shapes and sizes...yours happened to be European.

It's unfortunate that you lost the job as there are many supports that HR could offer when a staff member is being bullied or harassed, including external counselling offered by VECCHI and the employer has to pay for it. I used this service once when I was harassed at work and it really helped.

Have you talked to your doctor? Family? Friends?

Your GP can refer you for counselling under medicare for five visits. Centrelink should be able to link you with a job agency and support you financially during this hard time.

Beyondblue has great Counsellors who can chat with you online or on the phone and direct you to the right supports.

Lifeline is also great. I use them all the time.

Don't despair. Sometimes people are doing us a favour by shutting a door on our face, as then we are forced to open another...often better one. X