Important life lessons

[Lolita1]

HI there,

I was reflecting about 2017 and all the good, bad things that happened but also the teaching it has left me and I remembered a very special lesson that 2017 gave me.

It was a rainy winter day and I was on my lunch break having a coffee outside the shop, when out of nowhere comes a man dressed in shorts a jumper and no shoes, I made eye contact with him and smile...(in my head I was thinking OMG poor guy, he must be so cold I wonder if I can offer him to get some cheap shoes) as I was thinking this he ordered a coffee and came to sit next to me and started to chat, he was telling me that he was there because his son had some mental health issue brought by drug abuse and he accompanied his son to the youth centre that was close by. I just nodded and listen to this man telling me all about his feeling about his son. When 20 min had passed, I asked him if he was cold and why he wasn't wearing any shoes and he said that he likes to be in contact with nature to remind him that he is alive. it ended up that this person was very well educated, quite wealthy and obviously was in no need of cheap shoes. another 10 min had passed and I had to go back to work so I stood up and shook his hand -nice to meet you I said - his replied touch my heart because he thanked me for smiling at him and giving him the chance to talked to me as he was feeling very down because of his son diagnosis.

I learnt that day that I should never judge a book by its cover (because where I come from even homeless people have some sort of shoes) and the importance of smiling and listening to someone - he obviously needed that chat and so did I!!

Have you ever been taught a life lesson that really changes the way you think?

[Donte]

Hi Lolita1,

What a beautiful experience and what a lovely lesson! Indeed, when we make time to look, listen and engage, miracles can happen as we are open to receive and give. I bet that was one of the nicest lunch breaks you had! I had a similar experience on Xmas day two years ago. I’m not particularly a fan of the holiday season and usually try to avoid all unnecessary contacts by withdrawing and spending time in nature escaping social engagements. On that particular Xmas morning I took my dog for his morning walk at the park. Under a tree lay a guy who looked as if he had slept out there. My dog went next to him and started wagging his tail. He started petting him. I didn’t really felt like approaching him or talking but my dog wouldn’t leave! So eventually I approached him and a conversation started! Found out that he was kicked out of home as his relationship broke down and he ended up at a crisis Centre where all his belongings and money got stolen, and people there were so violent and aggressive due to drugs and alcohol that he didn’t want to go back. He preferred to sleep under the trees. I invited him with me and he came to my home. He had a shower, breakfast and later joined my daughter and a friend down the beach for a non-xmas picnic which we all enjoyed immensely! It was the best xmas ever and like you said, I’ve learnt to not judge the book by its cover, to not let fear keep me away, to be open to communication and put my mental anxiety and depression aside to make someone else’s day better! This gave me so much joy and it was the best gift I could have given or received. I still remember that day! X

[Lolita1]

Hi Donte,

Magnificent!!! this is what Christmas should be all about. With your generosity you made this person day much better. it is awesome how despite your own feelings you made the effort to connect with this person and perhaps change his life.

We will cherish this experience for ever.

cheers

[blueskye]

What wonderful stories, Donte and Lolita1!

We're all human and the same underneath the skin ❤️

With me, I'll say that I have shocked lots of people.

When I posted on Facebook about increasing awareness of suicide, depression, anxiety, etc, I added in that I suffered from anxiety attacks every now and then and explained what it was like.

I received lots of support in response to my post and private messages that detailed their shock. Many people in my life thought I had a perfect life - great middle-class family, popular, has good paying jobs, has a good future career, has a perfect boyfriend, etc etc etc.

I really don't have a perfect life, and neither does anyone else. While I must have taught others, it taught me as well - we post what we want other people to see on social media, and hide the ugly stuff.

Don't judge a book by its cover - a good life lesson.

[Donte]

Yes blueskye,

I believe we are all made of the same dust no matter what the cultural background or language we speak. we all crave for love, acceptance and forgiveness. There is no perfection and we are our only benchmark. I've always been brutally honest and open with people which shocks maany who are not ready to face this but others truly cherish and appreciate it. Definitely not judging a book by its cover. I've learnt to not judge at all actually. Just accepting what is as is. 🙂

[Lolita1]

Hi Blueskye,

What a great point you make about social media, I have a young teenage daughter, and I am very concerned about social media and mental health as you said we only post the good and not the bad this is having a major impact on our children - I always try and have talks to my daughter around this issue. Do you or anyone else have some pointers on how to tackle this? Usually if it comes from parents its not true. I wonder how parents from other cultures deal with this issue, especially if we don't know how some of these social media works. my daughter uses snapchat and I don't know how it functions.

thank you!!!

[Donte]

Hi Lolita01,

interestingly enough, I joined social media ten years ago when my daughter was a teen just to find out what the fuss is all about and how all this works. I’ve learned a lot on the way! I believe if we have an open and emotionally honest communication with our children and they trust us and confide in us that’s the best we can achieve as parents. If I keep the communication open then I won’t worry about any new APP that my daughter uses. X