Can you unlearn? If you can learn then maybe unlearning is not impossible. Challenging mental health notions that we grew up thinking were true.

[Donte]

Tonight as I was having fun with my little dog, wrestling and rough playing on the lounge floor, I reflected on how connected we are. No matter what we do, whatever life we lead, our pets are always a part of our lifestyle. They adapt to our lives and live their whole life based on ours. Our reality is theirs. They don't get to choose. They don't know anything else. Who will adopt them and/or what type of life they'd live.

I remember picking him up, four years ago, and bringing him home at eight weeks old, only 150 grams! Separated from his mum and dad, he instantly adapted and became a part of our lives. All he knows is all we showed him. The only life he has is the one we live.

Then I thought how similar we, humans, are.

We happen to be born somewhere, sometime, by someone, and we have no choice in the matter. We don't choose our parents, our birthplace, our language, the era, our beliefs and religions, our society and the environment we grow up, the only one we know and accept as reality...

When it comes to health, and mental health in particular, we could have also accepted and adopted attitudes and beliefs from the environment we grew up and thinking them as correct. We may or may not seek medical interventions, look favorably to counselling or being oppose to it etc. Perhaps, what we may hold as truth, is nothing but a view reflecting an era and a place which influenced us and we ended up believing that this is the truth. Our truth.

The good thing is that a life of learning can also be a life of unlearning. If we have the capacity to learn, then we also have the capacity to unlearn, and relearn. Exciting thought!

[Peppermintbach]

Hi Donte’,

Great thread idea 🙂

I was originally going to write about neural pathways and response/behavioural patterns (probably because I’ve had too many sessions with my psych who is big on this. Lol).

But I thought that I might just quote someone else instead as I feel it’s relevant to culture and learning and “unlearning.”

Do you remember Birdy77 (or Birdy)?

You’ve interacted with her and she usually signs off with a sunflower 🙂

She said on another thread:

I think we have a responsibility as individuals to not blindly follow what we've been enculturated to believe is right ... you are educating yourself about the world, and taking steps to live a life that is true to your heart and your values...

I feel her words relate to many of your posts (including the one above).

Pepper xoxo

[Hayfa]

Hi Donte' and a wave to Pepper

This is an interesting topic actually, I think depending on the situation and which way you look at it you could actually unlearn something. I came across a study known as the Boston theory that says there is a part in the human brain that registers the learning and based on the situation and life surroundings, a person learns to live in hardship and struggles if the environment (s)he was born into and to this end, it becomes possible if that person changes their living environment they can be taught new things.
It stands to reason that based on this theory you are actually learning new ways of the old which means you would abandon the old way of doing the same task.

This could be viewed as unlearning and this method is being used every day in many community support agencies specifically with people from CALD communities who have lived in previous difficult environments.

Hayfa

[Donte]

Hello Hayfa,

I wasn’t aware of the Boston theory but it makes sense. We develop new neuropathways in our brains every time we do things differently.

I was reading some new findings in regards to dementia, and research has shown that taking another route on the way home, ping at least one new thing per day, helps in the development of new neuropathways as our brain constantly expands and the map of our mind is developing all the time.

It makes sense then to embed new ways of thinking and behaving simply by doing new things and repeat until they become habit.

I think of a dog can lean new tricks )and they never stop learning, contrary to the popular belief), then surely a human can too!

Finding the energy and motivation to do something is of course a real challenge when one deals with anxiety or depression, but if we start one little new thing each day, maybe it will initiate a process of learning and relearning.

[Donte]

Hello Pepper,

How are you?

Thanks for replying to this thread.

I have been fascinated also with the notion of neuropathways and the way our brains are like a landscape where each time we do something or think of something, read, listen, learn something new, a new pathway is drawn upon the map of our mind where before there was no ‘road’ or pathway connecting the neurons responsible for delivering information from one part of the brain to another! By repeating that process we develop new memories and habits and change the way we think and are in the world.

The exciting thing in regards to this scientific discovery is that we never stop developing or learning. We constantly create new pathways in our brains who have enournous and mostly non-utilized capacity for ongoing growth and development!

This is truly amazing!

It gives me hope! It means very simplistically that I can give myself permission to think in new ways, to act differently, to change. To draw new lines on the canvas of my life!

I’m not a victim of circumstances or bound by traditions and belief systems that no longer serve me. I can dare to dream! To think! To act! To change!

I can do something new each day even if it is small, like taking a new turn on the way home and discovering new streets, landscapes, gardens, houses and roads! Seeing new faces, talking to new people, developing friendships and engagements and relating in ways that were probably unfathomable before!

How liberating this is! A true breakthrough!

As Birdy said, (and thank you for reminding me), ‘I think we have a responsibility as individuals to not blindly follow what we've been enculturated to believe is right ... you are educating yourself about the world, and taking steps to live a life that is true to your heart and your values...’

That is indeed the essence of maturity and adulthood.

It can be scary at times but also exciting to know that we are the only ones responsible for ourselves and in control of our lives, only if we dare to break the fear, accept the challenge, and take the steering wheel in our hands instead of relying on others to guide us. X

[Peppermintbach]

Hi Donte’ and all,

You’re most welcome and I’m touched that you asked. I’ve had a bit of a rough time lately. Your caring means a lot though. Thank you so much 🙂 How have you been?

Yes, I agree that the human brain is pretty fascinating 🙂 A bit of a mystery too in many ways. It will be interesting to see what scientists and doctors have to say as they learn more about how the brain functions over time.

I feel this might interest you so I’ll share it 🙂

My psychologist said to me that (technically) there is no such thing as “unlearning.” Apparently once you learn something, the neural connection remains in the brain according to him.

But what we can do is we can weaken that connection if we learn something new e.g. learning a new healthy habit to replace an old unhealthy habit (new neural connections). So we don’t unlearn as such but we learn something new to replace the old.

He said when we learn new coping mechanisms, habits, thought patterns, behavioural responses, etc instead, it creates new neural connections in our brain. If we practice the newly learnt things, those new connections becomes stronger and stronger over time...to the point where it can even replace an old habit, old behavioural response, etc. But the old neural connections (i.e. the ones associated with previously learnt things) still exist; they have just become a lot weaker when we don’t “practice” those old lessons.

Anyway, I thought that I would share as my psych loves to talk about this and you seem interested in this topic 🙂

Absolutely, you are the captain of your own life. You can write your own story. Just as your ancestors wrote their stories; you have the freedom to write yours your way.

It’s wonderful how you’re embracing your relative freedom and sounding so empowered. It’s inspiring.

I agree Birdy worded it beautifully and so succinctly too. Lol. Don’t thank me, thank her 🙂 She was the one who said it, I’m just the self appointed “messenger.”

Pepper xoxo

[Donte]

Hi Pepper,

Hope the rough times will pass soon.

I’m also going through some tough times currently. On one hand getting into winter always changes my mood and I feel down. On the other hand May is the month my partner died and all sorts of emotions resurface as relatives of his remind me and discussions tend to bring back memories. Also, lots of work issues and problems with my daughter.

Sleep is interrupted. Dreams are vivid. Melancholy about the past and anxiety about the future tend to often preoccupy my present.

I find what you said about unlearning very interesting and true.

I recently started smoking again after many years of cessation. I thought I wasn’t a smoker anymore. I had unlearnt this bad and unhealthy habit forever.

Yet, the first little trigger and here I am, rolling cigarettes again! I also drink more nowadays. Not sure why exactly. Boredom at nights I guess. Loneliness. Darkness and cold that affect my motivation to get out. Wanting to not feel. To not think. To escape my past and my life. Impossible I know! No matter where I go I carry me there as well.

Anyway, started counseling again and someone suggested breathing/body work as there’s only so much ‘talk therapy’ can do. I’m pretty scared to look into yoga, psychotherapy and other alternative remedies as my cultural and religious background while growing up forbid those practices and deemed them as evil. I know it’s silly and I’m an atheist now anyway, but funny how deeply ingrained learnings affect our ideas and prejudices

The doctor asked me yesterday if I have any ideas or plans on how to stop smoking and minimize drinking. I told her, ‘’not really, probably keep on doing it until I can’t no more or not feel like it’. It was truthful and honest answer.

When my partner died at 39 with completely destroyed lungs from cigarettes, I swore I don’t want to end up like that.

After medications, patches, hypnotherapy, and chewing nicabates for five years, I manage to finally ‘unlearn’ and relearn.

Now it seems for some unknown reason, I started feeding the addiction again and the old neuropathways are getting awaken and stronger.

I know I’ll have to deal with this issue again, but at the moment I’m too tired and depressed to think about it.

Culturally, smoking and drinking your sorrows have been the most popular recommended solutions to any issue.

The life of unlearning is a tough one! Yet, as the Greeks say ‘No matter how old I am, I never stop teaching my self.’ X