Are you multicultural or are you Australian?

[Donte]

I’ve been pondering for a while about the whole ‘multicultural’ notion.


We often hear ‘multicultural people’ or ‘multicultural experiences’ etc but what exactly does that mean?


I am from a culturally and linguistically diverse background, (was born and raised in a non-English speaking country), like the 46% of our population. However, I never think of my self as ‘diverse’ or ‘multicultural’. This is a term other people have created to describe me and my experiences. I am me. A human being like everyone else.


The term ‘multicultural’ often implies ‘different’ or ‘diverse’, but different from what or whom? Well, clearly, from the white-Anglo Australians.


So, my experience has been that in Australia today we have the dominant or mainstream White-Anglo culture and the ‘multicultural’ culture - anything and anyone who doesn’t fit in the white-Anglo category.


The reality of course is that the white-Anglo segment of the population is also part of the whole ‘multicultural’ society, even if it’s the dominant one.


This is never viewed in my opinion, its proper light, perhaps for political reasons and the hidden racism that still lurks in the background of today’s mainstream culture.


Interestingly enough, even non white-Anglo Australians have come to accept this white propaganda and every time I hear them refer to ‘Australians’ they connote ‘anglo’. They usually say I’m Greek or Turkish or Maltese etc. - and any reference to ‘Australians’ seems to indicate ‘the others’, ‘the whites’.


This of course has created an ‘us’ and ‘them’ mentality which stems from the remnants of the ‘white australia’ policy and the ‘melting pot’ days.


So, who is really an Australian? What makes you true blue Aussie? Is the woman covered in burqa from head to toe who’s been naturalized three decades ago an Australian? And if so, equal like the fifth or sixth generation white-Anglo neighbors of hers?


Often, you’ll find that this is not the case. I propose that it’s time to scrap the labels, erase the terms and start treating all people of Australia with equity despite their looks, skin color, gender, age, sexual orientation, religion etc


How does that sound?

[Summer Rose]

Sorry, I am using my phone and hit post by accident. To finish my thought ... I know there are many people on this forum that would agree with me.

What you have tried to do with this thread is brave. Not everyone agrees but not one person on this forum is going to agree with everything I say either. Not one.

Breath. Hold your head high. Come back when you're ready

[white knight]

Our MC representative for Beyondblue Donte is correct when he stated “we are one race, the human race.”

Unfortunately we don’t treat each other accordingly. It’s a tough gig being a migrant, a child of a migrant, looking like someone “different” in anyway shape or form.

And such differences I’ve felt myself. At school in the western suburbs of Melbourne I was the only white-anglo student of 30 in my class. I also had a hangup that was worse than the effects of kids speaking other languages often about me. I had fizzy hair. That might not seem much but it was the catalyst for many a depressive bout. In the 1960’s everyone wore long hair so I tried growing my thick hair long. It didn’t work! Bullying was common.

It was one reason to join the RAAF at 17. That position not only gave me adult pay, free transport and adventure…everyone had ultra short hair. I was one of them, I was never bullied again for that. I, at 62 now have the last laugh…most at my age are bald whereas I have a full head of short hair. finally no one grabbed my hair and pulled me along the passage.

I can imagine the reverse, a situation Donte has been in, to be up against white anglo Aussies that treated him badly in any way. I’ve taken his comments recently in a negative way because I’m really sensitive and I am a descendant of migrants some 120-160 years ago. I can say that such comments did upset me but the bigger picture is lost in the detail.

Other reasons white-anglo Australians are sensitive are things like losing part of our traditions like xmas, flying our flag, moving Australia day, singing carols etc. We are losing what we grew up with. So there is two sides to every story and mutual respect is lacking in many areas.

That bigger picture is the pursuit of goodwill and to walk a mile in another’s shoes. We should also refrain from casting all of one group as responsible for past events. The individual can have empathy.

In 2016 I was depressed as I sat in my caravan in Katherine. Our car had broken down so we were waiting for it to be fixed. I walked to the nature strip a the road and saw an indigenous mad sitting on the grass. It seemed odd so I asked him if he was alright. He said he was waiting for a lift. He said “but why you care” I said “because I give respect to your elders that own this land” He stood up and shocked me with a hug. His name was Patrick. I felt like I should say "sorry" to him for my ancestors attitudes and actions.....but I think I did.

Tony WK

[Just Sara]

Hi Donte';

As it was my post that set you off, I'd like to respond if that's ok.

Sigh...I'm saddened by your turmoil. It was not my intention to wound you thru my words, it was meant to 'inform' only. It's difficult to assess what people are feeling without body language or facial expressions. I had no idea how deeply you felt about my posts.

We all want to be heard and validated, you and I included. Unfortunately, not everyone can provide this, especially when emotions run high and sentiments are misinterpreted. This is the down side of forums.

The outcome? It hurts...

I hear your frustration, confusion and pain. It's obvious, now that you've expressed them so well. If I could lean my hand on your shoulder as a sign of empathy and encouragement, I would.

I understand your role on BB is of the utmost importance. I also understand that due to your sensitive nature and background there's bound to be triggers that challenge you. I applaud your courage and determination in facing situations that on the face of it, would seem to be 'alone'.

My suggestion, (with absolute respect) is for you to describe how you feel when you depict a situation you're passionate about so your audience knows prior to responding.

I say this because my interpretations of your posts were; it was a factual representation, not an emotional connection to the content. Had I known how deeply you felt, I would've approached it from a very different direction.

I tried to be as respectful as I could given my own feelings at the time. I apologise profusely for upsetting you.

This topic is indeed a very sensitive subject which has become more than it was intended to be. I feel we've all learned something about ourselves and each other in the process; I have.

In my previous post I wrote; "..an explosion of food, colour, language, fashion and familial tradition" This was meant to depict a glorious blend of beauty, not problematic. I stand by this.

When focus is on negatives, there's little room for beauty and splendour. We see it all the time in other sections. I'd like to celebrate our differences because without them, my life would still feel bland.

I hope to see you back soon stronger than ever;

Warm and kind thoughts;

Sez

[Peppermintbach]

Hi Donte’ (and all),

I hope you’re okay...I’m concerned about you. I also hope you come back to us when you’re ready...

I have always enjoyed engaging with you in conversation and hearing your perspective. I feel you bring a lot of insight to the forums...

To offer my own personal opinion on some of Chris’ thoughtful questions:

How do you feel about the label of "multicultural"? Do you feel Australian? What does that mean to you?

My answer is probably “I don’t know” or “I’m not sure” for any one of the 3 questions.

I’m a daughter of migrants myself, I speak 2 languages fluently and can understand a little of a 3rd language (trilingual parents). Growing up, yes, I did encounter racism and I often felt conflicted between the multiple cultures that were a large part of my life.

What did (does) that mean to me in terms of my cultural identity? Mixed feelings and inner conflict.

Thank you for letting me have a voice

kind thoughts,

Pepper

[Summer Rose]

Hi White Knight

I am a migrant but I want you to know that I understand your sense of loss.

My husband's grandmother felt the same way. Nan talked a lot about her feelings of loss--at the time (some 25 years ago) her concern was the Vietnamese newcomers. The "foreigners", as she used to call them, were changing her world and she didn't like it. It scared her.

I remember one day leaving her house with my children and, as I buckled my son into his car seat he looked me straight in the eye and asked, "Do you think Nan knows you're a foreigner?". I was gobsmacked that a four-year-old could have such insight. I was also lost for words. I explained to my son that Nan knew I was foreigner and it was okay and that I knew she loved me and her great-grandchildren.

I learned from talking with Nan that her sense of loss was very real. I did not judge her. I learned from her. At the time I was terribly homesick and sad and it was Nan, of all people, who helped me to adjust to my new country. I realised that I would never feel I belonged without taking responsibility for developing the connection with my new country. I would remain forever a "foreigner" unless I was prepared to give.

To me this meant it was okay to love Canada but I needed to love Australia more. It was fine to hold my culture close but I could not expect to make a new life and have new friends if I didn't change somewhat and accommodate others. I had to learn the ways of the country. I had to get involved in mainstream Australian life. I had to read the history and travel the land.

And I'm so glad I did. I found a sense of belonging, as a Can-Aussie and I'm proud of it. I'm not suggesting this is the way forward for anyone; I'm just saying it worked for me. This thinking kept me well. It enabled me to build a new life that I am very comfortable living.

[Just Sara]

Absolutely inspiring and beautiful Summer! Thankyou...

[Hayfa]

Hello everyone,

It is lovely to read all of your considerate and thoughtful posts.
I am sure that Donte' will be most touched by the wonderful words of support and encouragement.
Thank you for sharing in these last few posts some rich stories and I just wanted to say that everyone should feel proud and not sorry for anything you have posted throughout this discussion.

I knew very well when setting up this forum that the topics in 'Multicultural Experiences' would attract at times this type of heated debate and if you know anything about my Middle Eastern life and culture, we can be all about heat, fire and explosions! Posts such as these come as no surprise to me, where I am from it is all about different points of view and charged opinions like topics about Middle East politics, for example (I don't tend to involve myself, I just watch my extended family fire away!!)

The whole point of this forum is to support, encourage, exchange ideas and grow.
I think we have seen some growth from this discussion and this helps our mental health which is the aim of this forum and the many others in the online community.

I am proud of the way the discussion has evolved because it invoked fears and doubt that you probably had suppressed for a long time and by confronting those fears and doubts you learned more about yourself and others and most importantly, you all took it back to the beginning of the circle where you learned that after all that, we are all one.
I know there could be difficult discussions at times because everything resonates differently with everyone but this should be viewed as a good thing and I encourage respectful, constructive engagement because talking about how you feel and stating your opinion in the forum is conducive to good physical and mental health.
I know that some discussions could cause distress but, if you persist you will find that you are actually alleviating distress by extracting and posing answers and without realising it, you are actually building resilience.

Thank you to everyone, please keep up the good work.

Hayfa

[Summer Rose]

Hi Hayfa

I was so distressed about this thread last night that in my mind I opted out. I only came back today, following Chris' intervention because I knew the boundaries he set would make it a more controlled and safe discussion.

A big thank you to you and Chris. A bigger thank you to everyone else who has also persevered because this is the best way we can honour Donte.

[Donte]

Hello All,

WOW!!!!

Where and how can I start?

I'm blown away by the plethora of responses and the amazing empathy and genuine concern and interest for my wellbeing as well as the others' expressed by so many of you in your posts.

First of all let me say thank you.

I will endeavour to respond to individual points in due course but this may take a while considering the volume of posts!

Again, wow! Thank you. We are all contributing in building this 'Multicultural Experiences' forum.

I am honoured and feel proud to be a part of such an amazing, caring community of people who truly support and embrace each other. I am learning and receiving so much out of this engagement. It is truly transforming in so many levels. This is such a life-changing experience and I am so happy that we have this opportunity. Indeed, by sharing we grow and morph and receive invaluable support in dealing with our challenges.

I truly feel we are all holding hands right now!

Each point is valid and needs to be heard and I am glad that this thread provided this opportunity to do so. Even the uncomfortable things need to have our attention.

Ok. Let me say that I'm ok and wouldn't like anyone to be concerned about me. Things may have gotten a bit emotional and we are passionate about this topic as it is directly linked with our sense of identity, belonging, acceptance and self-worth. This signifies its importance as it links directly to our sense of well-being and mental health.

The story of the elephant and blind men comes to mind. I have shared it in another thread but in a nutshell it goes like this:

'Some blind men are called to describe an elephant. One says that an elephant is like a hose, another argues that it's more like a wide thin leaf, another states that it's like a tree trunk and someone else says that an elephant is like a little brush.' - They were all describing whatever they were experiencing. They were all talking about the same thing but they were all arguing among themselves.

We all see through our lenses of experience. There is no right or wrong. It is simply our understanding. Our truth. Our experience. And it is as valid as anyone else's.

I would like to apologise if I have offended or upset anyone in the process and let you know that if this is the case, it wasn't done intentionally.

I believe we are all one. The human experience is the same. We all need to be accepted and belong, and feel that if we fail, it's ok. We are given another chance.

X

[white knight]

Hi Donte

We do link arms.

It is a fact that during any transition there will always be some that refuse to change aka refuse to accept the way the world is inevitably going towards. Unity.

Take black and white USA. I think the greatest speech ever given was rev Martin Luther King's I have a dream. That was 50 years ago. Yet, there is still the kkk and white people are called "white trash". Yet, the majority now are not racist. That tells us something about our country's future here in Oz.

That for many generations to come there will always be the fringe group who wont hold hands as we do now. There is little we can do about that.

So lets walk arm in arm, and leave those people behind until they willingly catch up to our opened arms.

If I have offended I too apologize. We have all learned out of this and turned it into a positive. That is exhilarating. After all we are all sensitive for many reasons. Moving forward this thread could be the very best example of the difficulties of a multicultural society and ...how we overcome our greatest fears of it from all angles and through all personal experiences.

We cant change attitudes ourselves but we can influence and encourage. As a group we can possess determination and direction with an overwhelming sense of welcome to those that desire to change and get on board.

To those that dont want to accept I say to you. It is easy. Just love and care as you do with you own is all you need. No animosity, no them and us, no angst.

And if you disagree, read this thread again. How it can be normal to get offended and normal to defend...but it is truely an act of unity that is more powerful than any individuals feelings. To leave hurt aside and care for each other.

Tony WK