When buttons get pushed

[Speak Your Truth]

Can anyone help ? My buttons have been pushed to the point of bringing on severe anxiety. Does anyone think this is curable ? I am desperate to feel relaxed and at peace again and to be able to enjoy my life. I don’t know how to cope

[Hanna3]

Hi Cala,

I have problems all the time with my posts being too long - then I have trouble trying to edit them down! Never mind it's getting a bit late - try tomorrow!!! Katy who often chats on my thread has a Staffy too! We do love our dogs on my thread!!!

I was just listing to Dr Norman Swann's podcast on how to eliminate the covid19 virus in NZ and Australia and now I'm going to watch SBS for a while and take a break from it all...

Pats to Possum from us here xxx

[Hanna3]

Hi again Cala,

I see somewhere you mention a deep loneliness you've had since childhood - I've had the same thing, it's been for as long as I can remember - I think because I didn't find my mother safe to talk to, and my two siblings were much older than me... I always preferred being with animals and nature...

Birdy, I wanted to say hello and I hope you are keeping well. Have you been reading any great books lately?

Best wishes...

[Speak Your Truth]

Please don’t apologise for not being around to chat more Hanna. As I replied to someone else’s post today ... “I don’t want to be one of those people who you’ve mentioned who you have left notes for and you get no response. I can understand you might feel a sense of disappointment, as well as surprise. In the past I have to admit I have left peoples posts unanswered, and maybe your were among them. My reason for doing that is probably that I have felt sooo tired or sooo depressed or sometimes have been absolutely without words that I just can’t reply, can’t say anything. And then maybe the next day the posts I appear to have ignored have seemed to disappear in this jungle of the threads, I’ve forgotten who had replied to me or I have still been very tired, very depressed or lost for words. So it’s not personal about you.” ... and it works both ways Hanna, so please don’t send yourself on any sort of guilt trip.

So Hanna the day is nearly over now - how has it ended up so far ? I hope you’re feeling better. Can you consider this post as being a response to your post on my thread as well please 🥴.

The situation with your gas and AGL sounds so awfully difficult to cope with and depressing as well. Can you change providers ? I’ve been with Click Energy (Australian owned) for several years now never had a problem, but then I haven’t had a gas leak either. Maybe they aren’t available in your area anyway. If your house is a government owned one I’m surprised it’s in such bad condition. Is there nothing you can do about that thru them ?

Why do you have to keep seeing different GPs ? Is it because GPs have a high turnover in country areas. There seems to be quite a high turnover here too. I’ve had two Telehealth consultations recently, but because my regular GP wasn’t available I had to have someone else and it turned out to be a doctor here temporarily from Sydney (he was very good tho). My GP is definitely here to stay, but he is close to retirement age, and when that time comes I will be devastated. It will be much worse than finding a new hairdresser, which I will need when I can get my hair done again. The hairdresser I had was pregnant and finished work recently, but maybe she’ll come back, I don’t know. I need my hair cut now actually and by the time I can it will be very wild and woolley.

[Speak Your Truth]

I’m struggling with the isolation Hanna. I like my solitude but this is too much. I need company badly, so it helps to be posting here. I am a people person. I have no family, but late this afternoon I did have a good, long phone call with a city friend so that helped. Most people don’t seem to know what to say - nobody is going anywhere or doing much at all, so there’s nothing much to talk about, which is understandable.

I think many people must be using this time to catch up on lots of things both in and outside the house, so that’s a good thing. I am trying to get things done too.

I’m sad to hear you have given up finding friends where you are. Please don’t do that Hanna. What is the population of your town ? I just have to think that there must be some nice people there, somewhere. It’s just not logical to think there is no one at all. What about local Facebook pages ? Have you looked there ? You have to look harder Hanna, but of course you can’t do that now.

Thanks for the hugs from Sam, Possum is sending some back 🤗

[Hanna3]

Hi Cala,

I hope you are going OK. It's very tough being isolated. I know what you mean about friends isolating don't have much to talk about, I've found the same thing - because we're all stuck at home... my friend in Queensland works in an aged care home so she has more to talk about which helps. I tend to lose track of the days as I have no social things that I have to remember any more!

See my post to Paws on my thread about why so many lousy GPs - I'm bulk billed on a pension and they don't like that one bit. My GP in Coastal Town where I used to live ran a bulk-billing practice because he believed everyone was entitled to good healthcare - he was an English fellow who grew up in a poor family and was the first to get to university, so he knew what it was like. Alas it all seems to be about making money now. Today's GP was dreadful, in and out so fast!!!

I guess I've decided I just don't want to stay here, this is a big town and it's just too big for me with too much traffic - I only had a day here to view the house and it was snowing heavily so I guess I didn't get to see it when it was busy so I didn't realise. I did like my book group here but that had to stop meeting due to covid19, and I went to church just for the social aspect but that has stopped too! Like most country towns it's fairly cliquey.

I'm going to veg out in front of the TV tonight and tomorrow will ring for a plumber to check the house again for gas leaks and try a tenancy advocacy service and/or the energy ombudsman, what a thrilling day... this house has given so many problems!

I read a lot and I'm watching the series Northern Exposure episode by episode via DVD, it's good escapism.. Sam had two walks today so he is tired and it's been hot, more like summer, the weather is strange. How are things where you are? Are you near a beach? I've forgotten whereabouts you are - coastal I think- do you like it there? What is the weather like during the year?

Best wishes and chat anytime... take care xoxo

[Hanna3]

Hi Cala, I replied to you on my thread last night. I hope you're going OK today... both Sam and I are a bit tired today but just wanted to say hi. Pats to Possum xx

[Speak Your Truth]

Hi Hanna and thanks for your post. I did see your reply last night, thank you very much. Just now I am SO frustrated and ready to scream, and if only I could cry everything out. I have a problem with rats in the roof and the garage. I’ve got quite a lot of stuff in there and have put down rat poison but I feel sick thinking a rat will die in amongst all my stuff and then I’ll have to look for it. I have no one to ask to throw rat throw packs in the roof and I can’t do it myself. I’m ready to tear my hair out. It’s awful being older, not having support, coping with so many things. I’m so over it all at the moment 😤😭

[Hanna3]

Hi Cala,

Poor you, you have too much going wrong at the moment, I know the feeling! I had rats in the ceiling once when I was living somewhere else, but I managed to get up on a small stepladder and throw baits into the ceiling cavity. Mostly I think they go away to die. Can you afford a pest controller to come in, or else even just a handyman to throw some baits up in the roof? What about a local charity or neighbourhood centre if they are open - sometimes they will send a volunteer out to help with something like that. No helpful neighbours I suppose? Probably a silly question if it's like me here...

Try to relax tonight and not worry too much... there will be a way to get rid of them - the baits in the garage may do the trick. Sorry you are feeling overwhelmed. Do let me know how you go. Maybe relax tonight and watch some TV or something and try to take your mind of stressing. Sending hugs xoxoxo

[Birdy77]

Dear Cala, waves to all

How are you going there today? Were you able to get some sleep?

I am sorry you have a Ratatouille problem - they are so frustrating - keeping you awake at night if you can hear them partying in the ceiling, trying to get rid of them, and then dealing with them if they decide to become The Departed on your premises. Especially in the garage or the roof cavity, because, the smell. We have problems with them here sometimes too in our little old house.

At the back of the local paper in the work wanted section you can usually find someone willing to do "no job too small" type thing, you might get someone who could come and help out for a small fee?

It's a shame Possum doesn't scare them off, my boys don't scare them either. Neither do the chooks, too bad.

Hey did you read my message about The Durrells? I reckon you'd really like it. Not crass, i promise!! 😂

I am coping ok with the iso, I've been getting some jobs done around the house, if it warms up again i might paint the front fence, and we're clearing out the garage, got the shed built, painted the floor of that, pulled out the old broken dishwasher, stuff like that. I want to paint the exterior of the house too. Doing things like that is helping me a lot.

I'm trying to grow my hair during iso - I thought it was a good opportunity to get through the ugly in-between stages while being housebound! I usually wear my hair really short - it's driving me mental at the moment, so i might get rid of it tomorrow!

Hi Hanna, no i haven't really got into a book lately, i started re-reading Michael Cunningham's The Hours (a book i love) but my concentration is out the window at the mo. I have some books on my shelf to go on with, but my library is so nice, if you reserve a book on their app, they are posting them out to us while the library is shut. Pretty good service!

I wanted to drop in and see how you're feeling Cala, I've seen you posting around a bit, i hope it is helping you to feel less alone.

How's your crocheting going? I really want to start that up again, i will have to re-teach myself because it's been such a long time. What are you making at the moment?

It's such a weird, strange time we're all in isn't it? I have a friend in Italy, we have a lot to be thankful for here in comparison.

Sending lots of warm friendly vibes up your way and hoping you and Possum are feeling ok today. Back to washing up the dishes for me - a never-ending task for me because i like to cook (looking forward to a new dishwasher let me tell you!)

Talk soon 🌞

🌻birdy

[Speak Your Truth]

Hi Birdy

Ah Birdy you made me laugh 😂 with your mention of my ratatouille problem. That’s puts a different angle on it for sure 😄. Possum is a waste of space as far as catching rats go 🥴 (otherwise he’s the best 😍). So sorting it is a work in progress ...

Yes, I did watch some of the Durrells series. It was nice but it didn’t grab me like What We Did On Our Holiday. I’ve seen that a couple more times since we lady spoke - it’s always lovely and fun.

My hair is growing fast, too fast, and it’s going to be a total mess before much longer. But I don’t want to go to a hairdresser because of the virus risk. My hairdresser stopped working a couple of months ago anyway, so I’ll have to find a new one which is never easy.

I’m trying to get things done around my house but only making small steps. The days start off late (I sleep in) and slow and then before I know it the light is fading and I’m very tired.

Birdy you say you are coping ok with iso which is great. I know you have your partner, which must be so good for both of you. Possum is my ‘partner’ and not good at talking 🥴 I’m feeling the strain of iso badly and the emotion of it all is so very tiring.

I vented on the coronavirus thread this afternoon and the last time I looked nobody had replied so if you or Hanna can that would be a help. Thank you in advance. I’m feeling so flat, I can’t even talk(write) normally. Sigh.

Having dinner will help me feel better I hope, I haven’t eaten for hours, no appetite.

bye Birdy, Cala