Dear SYT
I briefly introduced myself in one of Quirky's threads. Now I've found your thread I would like to join the conversation if that's OK with you.
My primary diagnosis is depression but this also brings anxiety with it. Do you read much? There is a great little book called Living with IT by Bev Aisbett. IT is anxiety and this is a survivor's guide. Light reading but includes the hard bits. To read it straight through will take about half an hour. I find talking about anxiety in a humorous way at times can keep IT away. Not that I'm suggesting the topic is humorous but following your lead above.
You asked what the 3F are. Flight, Fight, Freeze. The names are pretty self explanatory. When we have panic attacks we often freeze, don't know what to do (even though we have some resources), and seem to be caught in a web that will not let us go. As a coping mechanism it can be good, stops us running away, flight, because we need to stay and manage the panic. Sometimes though flight is the right thing to do. I find our bodies in general know what to do. We need to listen to what we are being told.
Cuddles are great. My children and grandchildren always give me a hug when we meet. Even my sons-in-law on occasions. But of course these people are not always available when we need them. So what can we do? I believe it is time for us to 'cuddle' ourselves in some way. My first thought is having a pet. Perhaps a cat or dog. They are usually up for a cuddle. And they will stay with you until you feel better which is not always the case with human cuddles. If you cannot have a four-legged pet then what about a bowl of goldfish? Not a cuddly pet but in the past I have found it calming to watch them swim around.
Do something nice for yourself. A long, hot bath with your favourite bath salts etc. Listen to some music that you find enjoyable. I listen to some soft and calming music and I know I feel better when I start to play ABBA.
Prepare a lovely meal for yourself. Pamper yourself by making something delicious to eat, setting the table and have a glass of wine (if you drink wine).
When we are in need of someone but no one is available these are the sort of actions we need. Take responsibility to redirect our mood to something happier and give yourself a pat on the back for taking charge.
If you really need to speak to someone, try the BB helpline 1300 22 4636 available 24/7.
Mary
