UPDATED: Dealing with my partner's anxiety. Just want to talk

[Belthizor]

Hi all, I'm new here, my name is Sheldon and basically I just want to talk to others about how to deal with my partner's anxiety. For the past couple of months, she has been having anxiety-related issues, but only very recently have these issues intensified. In the past two days we have been to the ED twice, Seen the Doctor twice and been to see her psychologist. The attacks are getting worse, and I am really worried for her. She has even been having suicidal thoughts. This of course worries me even more, but I feel that I have to stay strong for her sake. I love her very dearly and it just breaks my heart to see her so upset. She's crying, has involuntary hand movements, feeling nauseous and has even physically thrown up. She has recently been prescribed a benzodiazaprene and tomorrow we will be going to the doctors to review her current anti-depressant medication. I love her with all my heart and I don't ever want to lose her. While we are doing everything we can to address these issues, it's still hard - especially for me, and I would love someone to talk to who has been through this, or even just someone willing to bend an ear but not judge. This girl is my whole world and without her... I don't know what I'd do.

 Thanks for listening, I know I rambled on a bit, but I do that.

[Belthizor]

Hi again,

Just thought I'd give an update on my girlfriend. Today she had only mild anxiety, however the rest of her health has been less than cooperatively. All the throwing up she did yesterday along with the anxiety has left her very exhausted, she still feels very nauseous and is generally sick of being sick. I'm of the mind that at least it's physical. I feel I can deal with the physical side of things a lot easier. We went to the doctor's this evening and she got an injection for an anti-nausea medication, hoping that would work better than the standard pills she's been taking to combat nausea. Results so far are inconclusive. She's now gone to take a bath hoping that might help her out.

That's all from me, can't stay long as I have dinner cooking.

Hope you're well,

Sheldon

[Belthizor]

A further update:

So, as I previously said, we went to the doctors and my Gf got an anti-nausea injection and a script for anti-nausea wafers. She started feeling better, but then started to feel crap again. Physically, this is.

Well, I have some positive news: we think we have discovered the cause of, well, everything. My Gf has also been taking a course of antibiotics to treat a UTI. We observed tonight that my Gf started to feel nauseous again. We made the connection - the antibiotics were causing the nausea and that in turn led to sleeplessness, vomiting, diarrhea, and an acute attack of anxiety! We made the decision to stop the antibiotics (after a useless call to Nurse on Call where we just wanted to know whether we should stop the antibiotics, but instead ended up answering a dozen questions only to be told we should see a doctor).

So, yeah that's my good news. My Gf's appetite has returned, she's feeling well enough to clean and she's even making jokes. So glad that nightmare is over!

Thanks so much for all your support, I'll probably post again in the next day or so about that other issue I mentioned earlier. Until then,

Ciao for now

- Sheldon

[blondguy]

Hi Sheldon

Thankyou for the update. It good that your GF has had some respite from her nausea. Her appetite returning is a bonus too!

The anxiety may be long term. Like yourself it would be great if it disappeared though.

True relief from anxiety disorder come from very regular therapy (if poss) combined with the AD's she is currently on. I had weekly therapy years ago for six months and it worked magic on the severity of the anxiety attacks 🙂

I hope you both get some peace Sheldon

my kind thoughts

Paul

[Belthizor]

Hi Paul,

As I mentioned before, I think this particular anxiety attack was linked to my Gf's health. Once we started to get that sorted, she started to calm down. Unfortunately her health still hasn't improved as yesterday when we were out just before doing shopping she was overcome with nausea, pain, unsteadiness and feeling feverish. We called Nurse on Call who were, as usual, useless and told us to go to the doctor (we were wanting to know if we should go to the hospital), despite us having already been there that day (the Dr ordered some blood tests, changes her antibiotic, pressed on her tummy - which was very painful - and asked her to come back on Sunday for some results. We think it possibly could be an issue with her gall bladder). We went home where my Gf rested for a few hours and then she dropped me off to do the shopping as she did not feel well enough to do it, and then she picked me up after.

Anyway that's all from me for now as it is after 4 am. I will chat to you soon.

Cheers,

Sheldon

[Croix]

Dear Sheldon~

I saw your post in the Cafe and followed you and Paul here. I hope you don't mind me popping a post in. I've sort of 'top & tailed' this thread, reading the first few and last few messages.

I have no real great words to add to Paul's, just wanted you to know you there are others here too. Among my illnesses collection I have various physical symptoms caused by chronic anxiety and can well relate to some of your GF's problems, and also to needing to deal with doctors both in and out of hours (I was spared the Centerlink hassle as I was Workers' Comp).

What can I say that might help? Not much I guess, though you talked about feeling helpless at times. I expect Paul will have told you that it's normal for a situation such as yours when there are many occasions where there is nothing one can do, no real words, no plan to offer. I've felt it many times.

One example was when my son's partner died very young from leukemia. My son went away to another state to be out of the environment full of painful reminders. He used to ring me up daily, sometimes more than once, and was crying and crying out. I had no words and stumbled along. I felt terrible after each call and dreaded the next one. It went on for around 2 months then started to tail off a little, lasting a bit under a year overall.

The only way I managed to deal with this was to store up jokes off the internet and sprinkle them in as I could. By and large it worked ok, not always, but often enough for me to feel a little better and less helpless. My son told me years later they helped him too (no I don't think he was just being polite).

I've no idea if that is a viable idea for you.

I do know just my clumsy presence did help him considerably, though neither of us really knew it at the time.

You also mentionedt 'withdrawing' into your games. I did/do the same thing, though in my case it is books and movies (mainly books). I've found distraction / withdrawing /rest from circumstances is important and necessary, not selfish, for my well-being and ability to cope.

You have my best wishes

Croix

[1113]

Hi Belthizor,

We haven't formally meet yet.

It would be my honour to get know you better.

Chat soon

Peace

Matt

[Belthizor]

Hi Guys,

You're more than welcome in the thread, I post on and off depending on the severity and frequency of my gf's attacks. As I write this, she is having another one (her mum is with her trying to calm her down).

I must admit, I am at a loss as to what to do... I feel totally helpless. She says none of the techniques (breathing exercises, the 5 senses, etc) help. All she's able to focus on is how the attacks have gotten worse, how nothing is working. I'm deeply worried. She doesn't want to take benzos as she doesn't want to become addicted. We all want her to get better, not least of which is herself. One thing I HAVE noticed of late is that, generally, when she's having an attack, she tends to start feeling really physically sick. Sometimes throwing up, sometimes just retching.

It feels like nothing I have to say helps... I've never been very good with the emotional side of things. I hate these attacks so much and I want nothing more than to make them go away and for her to get better, but I don't know what to do...

I must admit, this is all so scary.

Thanks for listening, I just wanted to get all this out there.

Cheers,

Sheldon

[blondguy]

Hi Sheldon

Please let me know if you disagree as your post is as important as anyone else's including mine 🙂

I had acute anxiety from 23 to 36 years of age. You are an excellent carer for your girlfriend.....and you should be very proud of being such a kind and wonderful partner too!

There is only so much you can do Sheldon. This is not a day to day illness. It can be long term.

If a person has been prescribed benzo's to take 'the edge off' also so they can rebuild their foundations and use all the coping mechanisms you speak of more effectively.

I have always been anti-meds too Sheldon , the same as you are. Its only life experience with acute anxiety but meds are sometimes required to treat the illness to avoid any exacerbation of the illness itself.

Sometimes the coping mechanisms wont penetrate the anxiety.....depending on the severity of the symptoms of course....I understand Sheldon.

The benefits of certain meds (benzos) far outweigh the negatives to enable a sufferer to have some short term peace of mind and strength to move towards recovery.

You should be very proud of the rock solid support you are giving your girlfriend Sheldon.

Can I ask how regular your girlfriend is seeing her counsellor? (if thats okay)

Always good to speak to you Sheldon

my very best for you and your girlfriend

Paul

[Belthizor]

Hi Paul,

I'm not anti benzos, my Gf is - in that she doesn't want to be on them for the rest of her life as she views it.

Last night got really bad - she was having suicidal thoughts. She doesn't want to go through all this again/anymore.

She gets 10 free psychology sessions a year with the Centrelink mental health care plan and is scheduled to see her counsellor on 6th February.

I hate it when she gets like this because I feel there's nothing I can do. It's scary. I try to do the calming techniques (deep breaths, 5 senses, etc) but she won't do them/ can't focus on them.

I feel so useless during these times.

I wish I could just take away all the pain as easy as that...

[1113]

Hi Belthizor,

Panic attacks are horrible.

Usually you get really hot.

Try getting her to lay down and do some calming, soothing things.

Calmly talking slowly reassuring all is well.

A cold wet face washer gently wiping over her face or arms etc.

A cool shower.

Funnily enough breathing into a paper bag or a thin tube, like a snorkel etc.

I hope some of these help.

Peace

Matt.