unsure what to do

[Wednesday]

Hello,

When do you know a relationship is over?

[Wednesday]

Hello Emmy you sweetie,

Thank you so much for your kind words. Good luck with the decision you are looking at.

Hugs, xx

[Wednesday]

Hi Paul,

Thanks for finding me, much appreciated!

I have been very lucky two receive lots of quality advice. I did take onboard what Apollo said. I haven’t been able to subtly or any other way make any changes. I have previously and more recently found a lot of information and try to discuss it with P, but that just made him suspicious and uncomfortable, raising his anxiety levels further. He’s not getting any counselling and does not believe any medication would help.

Thank you for your kind words.
Hugs, xx

[Wednesday]

I think the best thing to do is nothing. I'm in no position physically or emotionally to make any life changes. So that said, I'll focus on:

• Recognising the good things in my life and my ability to be resilient
• Remind myself that no one is perfect
• Deal with P family's rejection the best least stressful way I can
• Keep my stress levels low
• Stay where I am. Because it's too complicated to unravel and I haven't got the strength to manage this task
• Not criticise myself when I can't do things
• Get out of the house as much as possible for a coffee or something nice
• Accept medical opinion but know that my life is under my control
• Make a plan for my future given my health restrictions
• oh, and try to travel interstate to see my friends

xx

[Lost_Girl]

Hi Wednesday,

It sounds like a good plan but don't forget when you are being a support for P that all the good people here can be a support for you. As Apollo and Paul reiterated, being that support for P is emotionally draining. In the absence of him getting help elsewhere, please make sure you reach out.

Kind thoughts,

Carol xx

[Wednesday]

Thank you dear Carol.

I really appreciate your words. It's not perfect but maybe 'its as good as it gets' to quote.. er Jack Nicholson. I cant afford to let my issues get anymore out of control than they are. So, I cant afford to allow his families behaviour to get to me anymore, which is really sad. Pulling up my socks as we speak!

Hugs, xx

[Guest_5218]

Hi Wednesday. I wrote a response to your post earlier this morning but it hasnt come through yet. I will check back later to see if it finally makes it through. If it has disappeared then I will repost.

I read on the Cafe thread that you had a Drs appointment today. I hope that went well?

Sherie xx

[Wednesday]

Hi Sherie,

I see from your change in picture that you're not feeling too great right now. I wish I could do something to help. You're a wonderful, intelligent and talented woman, please don't lose sight of who you are. You're so well loved. Hugs.

The doctors appt was bit of a meds, she was running really late. I said I thought the meds are working so she has applied to the Government for another 6months worth. I really don't know if it is working it's complicated because the other diseases interact and I can't figure what's what, it's worth trying. Hopefully it will stop some further damage I hope I'm not wasting tax payers money.

Love and hugs. xx hey

[Guest_5218]

Hi Wednesday. Are you back from your walk with Happy and done the bath thing with him? Ha ha, I expect you'll still be very wet in that case.

Well the post I sent you yesterday morning seems to be lost in space. I posted not long after you posted your message. Actually I have lost a few the past few days, but all the others I knew I'd lost. Yours indicated that it had gone through, but obviously hadnt.

So I will try to remember most of what was lost yesterday.

Firstly I'm glad you have made a decision about 'unsure what to do', which was after all the purpose of this thread in the first place.

Do you feel some relief at having come to a decision? At least now you will be able to start to focus on all those very worthy dot points in your post above.

At some time in the future you can always reassess your situation, as circumstances may yet change.

I'm sorry that your uncertain medical issues present such a stumbling block for you. And I do hope that this special treatment helps. From what you have said, it sounds as though it is more a matter of preventing further damage, as opposed to improving your current status. Definitely worth trying though, and certainly not a waste of tax payers money. Your bravery in trialing this treatment may help many others in future. So think of it that way. You are a trailblazer!

Yes, you're right I have had a change of profile picture in line with current mood. Do you like this one anyway? It is Holly of course, who you'd have recognised. And with us is Bessie, the Kelpie we brought up here when we sold the farm and retired her and hubby together. She was a beautiful dog - a great working dog on the farm, reliable and gentle with kids, very protective, and in general just a lovely temperament. Holly thought she was just wonderful. Bessie was very patient with Holly who we only got after moving up here from the farm. Bess was about 7 yrs old when we got Holly at 8 mths old. But they each had their own areas of dominance. Holly was boss inside, Bessie was boss outside. Sadly I had to put Bessie down about 4 years ago when she got really sick from lymphoma. But she lived a good life, and we both still miss her.

And thanks also Wednesday for all those very generous things you say of me. You're very sweet.

Sherie xx

[Wednesday]

Hi Sherie,

Back and logged on. Thank you for taking the time to rewrite your post, you're very kind.

Lovely to see Bessie and Holly's picture and hear about their special friendship and story. Wouldn't it be great if humans could work out their difference so simply? Poor Bessie. I still grieve over losing my german shepherd to cancer, you just don't ever really get over those special relationships.

Happy must have known he was headed for a bath, because he was little naughty. He went to run across a main road (heart in my mouth) he refused to obey his commands, come and wait. Fortunately, I think, he was after something smelly in the gutter to rub himself in. He also found a lot of puddles in the park including one nearly good enough for him to swim in. Out of the puddles straight into a patch of sand and dirt to roll in.

I think the dot points are the best I can do, I just feel flat and a defeated. I don't know how I will cope with the family stuff, a stiff drink maybe! I have been so strong and independent for so long, it's hard for me to give in gracefully. I am fed up taking medications. I don't think I am much of trailblazer the people I share the ward with have some truly horrible diseases. However, I'm pretty pleased that I have somewhere to leave Happy from time to time.

Posting on the forums about some of my experiences has shocked me, funny reaction! I just seemed to have bounced from one thing to another in my life. I'm reluctant to say much more because I think it sounds like some sort of one up manship.

There is no need to thank me for saying what I believe, your inner beauty shines through. It's hard to see ourselves as others see us. But hopefully the love and comments from people of the forums help to remind you how much you and your wisdom are treasured by so many people. I hope you can find your way back out of the mire again and I'm sorry that I helped send you there.

Hugs, xx

[Guest_5218]

Oh Happy, you naughty boy! Fancy scaring your poor Mum like that.

I understand what you are saying about the dot points you are striving to achieve. They are worthy points though, so I hope you manage to achieve them. Perhaps the hardest of them from what you have indicated here, is the one about the inability of his family to accept you. Do you even know what the main 'sticking point' is there? Is it them or is it P that is the main cause of friction there? Perhaps he just doesnt wish to share his family with you? I can understand you feeling flat and defeated. You are going through a lot both emotionally and physically, and trying to make important life choices. Not easy at the best of times.

The forums, once you know they are a safe environment, can allow you to open up a lot cant they? Certainly when I first came on here, there is no way I would discuss things that I am able to now. I see that as a good thing though Wednesday, so dont ever hold back because you feel you will be seen as playing a game of one-up-manship.

Your life experiences are what they are, and you cant change them. You can only change what comes after, not before. So if you are responding to a new poster for example, and you have similar experiences to them, tell them. It is important for people to know that they are not alone in what they are suffering or experiencing. And if they know that you have gone through similar trials as them, they are more likely to take notice and respond to you. No doubt you see many posts where you think "yes I know exactly what they are going through". So tell them that and then offer words of advise which you have found helpful for you under those circumstances. I'm a sure nobody will see that as being in any way a competition or a case of one-up-manship.

Whatever makes you think you have in some way helped to send me back to the mire again? Let me reassure you now that nothing you have said or done has had any bearing whatsoever in that regard. If I have slipped back into a bit of a trough again recently, its simply because that just seems to be the way it goes. It happens from time to time. If anything, you have helped me to stay afloat a little, rather than sinking lower than I otherwise would have. You and all the others here on the Forums.

I wish there was more I could say to help, but all I can do is be here to support you whenever you need it. I greatly value your friendship and sound advise. Hugs.

Sherie xx